I’m halfway to the door when Ben calls my name, but I can’t handle any more accusations tonight.
On my way out, I swipe at the angry tears streaking down my face. I’m dialing an Uber as I jog across the front lawn and head down the street where I can see the street signs.
Fortunately, there’s a driver a minute away.
“Sienna!”
He reaches me just as the Uber driver pulls up. I yank open the door, but Ben shuts it.
“Sunshine, don’t go.”
When he sees the devastation on my face, he tries to pull me into a hug, but I back away. “Don’t. On the drive here, you said that we’re too different. You said I didn’t know you. But maybe you don’t know me because if you did, you’d know who I am in here.” I pound on my chest, which aches from all the things we said to each other. “My last name shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t! I’m the same person who’s bent over backwards to help you.”
“Sienna,” he says softly. “You’re right. I’m sorry shit got out of control back there. You just caught me off guard.”
He glances behind him, and I use that distraction to open the door, but he blocks me from closing it.
“You help keep me on track. I know that. You’re not a distraction.”
Everything is blurry since the tears won’t stop, and I hate myself for being this upset. “I’ll see you in Charming. Deal with your family. Figure out what you need to figure out.”
Decide whether you want Janelle, a tortured voice in my head says.
I know he doesn’t want her. She’s a nutjob. But she’s always going to have her claws in him. Can I deal with that? They grew up together. Their families want them to be together. They share Lily.
For once, I want someone to pick me. To put me first. But Ben has a child and a baby mama. He has a demanding football schedule. It’s foolish to think I’ll ever rank as a priority in his life. It’s probably a selfish sentiment, but I’ve always been on someone’s backburner—my father’s, my ex’s, my friends’. Is it wrong to want more?
Ben and I never made any promises to each other. Maybe it’s best to cut ties now before it’s too late. Before he completely shatters my heart.
Deep down, though, I know it’s too late to protect myself.
Ben leans in closer. “You’re going home? I’ll see you when I get back tomorrow?”
It’s wrong of me to wish he’d leave with me tonight. His daughter is sick. She should be in bed already.
He leans in to kiss me, but I’m too raw right now for any kind of intimacy. I turn my face at the last second so his lips land on my cheek.
For once, words fail me.
So I slam the door shut and stare ahead as the Uber drives away.
48
BEN
Feeling like an ass for how my family treated Sienna and for losing my cool with her, I storm up and down the street to calm down. Until I’m sure I can have a conversation and not yell.
My girlfriend is the daughter of a tech mogul. I’ll have to table that for the drive home because I’m still not sure how to feel about how much she kept hidden. One of the biggest things that drew me to Sienna was what I thought was her honesty and frankness.
Not that she necessarily lied. Right? Fuck, I don’t know.
I’m not sure how this evening went sideways, but I seem to recall it started with Janelle. Why did my uncle bring her here? Sure, I need to talk to her, but not like this.
When I’m sure I won’t lose my cool, I return to the house. My uncle is sitting in his recliner with a beer. He motions to the side table where one is waiting for me.
“Where’d everyone go?”
“Your aunt put Lily down in our room. She said we could watch her tonight to give you a chance to sleep. She said you look exhausted. Janelle and her parents are sleeping in your cousins’ rooms.”
“Why are they staying here?”
“Their new place is on the other side of Fort Worth, and I-30 is under construction. Ignacio’s eyesight isn’t great at night, so they asked to sleep over.”
Sounds like bullshit, but I don’t comment about it. “Where are the girls tonight?” I’ve been looking to seeing Bianca and Hannah.
“Friends’ houses. They’ll be back tomorrow.”
I sit on the couch adjacent to him and pop open that beer. Guzzle half of it.
I’m not sure what to say to him. Dr. Patricia would encourage me to be honest, but I’m too upset to unpack everything. All I know is that every bone in my body is urging me to go after Sienna, but I can’t leave when Lily’s not feeling well.
“Why’d you ambush me tonight? Why all the drama with Janelle and her family? I could’ve told you how this evening would go down if you had asked.”
He sighs and runs a hand through his sparse head of hair. “Look, you’re Lily’s father. Of course Ignacio and Yolanda want you to get back with Janelle.”
“But why did you side with them?”
“I wasn’t taking sides. What could it hurt to have everyone sit down and talk? That’s all Ignacio wanted for his daughter. He thinks Ernest is a bad influence. That boy told Janelle he only wanted to get back together if she didn’t have Lily.”
What’s the likelihood that Janelle contemplated abandoning Lily permanently so she could get back with her ex? Strong.
Which, fuck. Fine. If she wants some asshole more than our daughter, good riddance.
I get up, but he holds out his hand. “Síentate. Please.”
Reluctantly, I sit. “Does it not matter to you that Janelle hasn’t seen Lily in two months? She never called, texted, came to see her. Nothing.”
My uncle nods slowly. “It matters. I see now that I should’ve talked to you first. At the very least, you would’ve known what to expect. But you know your aunt. She’s very traditional. She wanted Lily to have her mother and father together.”
Before I can argue, he gives me a look. “She means well. She loves you.”
“Why would Janelle bother with all of this if she really just wants to be with Ernest? That video pretty much proves this was a farce.”
“Who can say? But I agree with you. I wouldn’t want you to be with her if you don’t love her. You have a nice girl. She treats you well.”
When I think about the look on Sienna’s face when she left, I can barely breathe. “I had a nice girl.”
“What does that mean?”
A sick, twisted feeling knots me up at the thought of Sienna not being home when I get back to Charming. “I’m just not sure we’ll still be together after all this. You guys were pretty awful to her.”
“Mijo, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to be like that. You know your aunt has a temper, and she loves Ignacio and Yolanda.”
“She should’ve been on my side. I’m family. I’m your son, right? You adopted me. But for the first time, I didn’t feel like your son.” I get choked up admitting that, but it’s the truth.
“Damn.” He sniffs and looks away. He’s quiet for a long stretch. “I’m sorry. Perdóname. Please.”