Besides, she’d caused this rift. She needed to be the one to fix it.
She rested her head back, staring absently at the roof of the truck and breathing deeply. I can do this. They’ve known me since I was a kid. They love me. She looked at the house again, but her anxiety spiked.
Why was this more difficult than getting on her bike?
Because bikes don’t talk. Bikes don’t cry or blame or look at me like I’m the biggest jerk on the planet.
Dare and their parents had forgiven her, but these were Eddie’s parents, and they’d lost their only son. They might see what really happened the same way she’d seen it, and they had every right to. When she’d called to say she wanted to stop by, Eddie’s mother, Mary, had sounded surprised and a little cautious despite her kind words. I’m so glad you reached out. We would love to see you. It was one thing to be kind on the phone, but another when the only person who really knew what happened that day was standing in front of them.
She rested her head back again. “I hope I don’t screw this up, Eddie. The last thing I want to do is cause them more pain.”
But she knew there was no way around causing them pain. In an effort to help her prepare for the worst, Dare had played devil’s advocate and had told her that the fact that she’d broken up with Eddie might be heartbreaking for them. They’d talked about omitting that part, but it was exhausting carrying the secret, and they deserved to know the truth even if it took them all to their knees.
“I’d ask you for a sign, but there’s no place for Dare to land with a parachute.” She thought about how that morning had set so many changes into motion. “Thank you for that, Eddie,” she said just above a whisper, knowing he’d hear her whether or not she said it aloud. “I will always love you.”
The front door opened, and her heart nearly stopped as his parents stepped onto the porch.
“Seriously, Eddie? As if I needed more pressure?”
What’re you waiting for, Billie? Get out there and show the world what you’ve got.
“It’s not the world I’m worried about, but I get it. I’m going. Thank you for being with me today.”
Billie managed a smile, or at least she hoped she did as she forced herself to climb out of the truck and make her way to them. His mother wore her blond hair shorter than she used to, just above her shoulders, but her natural waves still flowed, just like Eddie’s had. Her floral peach blouse was tucked into a gray skirt that fell just below her knees. His father was tall and broad-shouldered, like Eddie had been, with thinning salt-and-pepper hair. He wore a short-sleeved dress shirt and slacks, just like always. It was unfair how it seemed like nothing changed, and at the same time, everything had.
Her stomach knotted up, and tears stung her eyes. Don’tcrydon’tcrydon’tcry.
“Billie, sweetheart, it’s so good to see you.” His mother came off the porch, blinking rapidly, as if she were holding back tears, too.
Billie’s throat thickened. “Thank you for letting me stop by.”
“We’ve missed you, honey,” his father said. “You were like a daughter to us, and it’s good to have you home.”
He opened his arms and embraced her, his words and his embrace unleashing a flood of tears. She’d forgotten how they’d always referred to their house as home for her and Dare. They’d spent less time there than they had at the ranch or at Billie’s, but when they’d have dinner with his parents, they’d always said it was nice to have all their kids around the dinner table. That memory cut like a knife. She’d stolen herself from them, too.
“I’m sorry,” Billie choked out as his mother pulled her into her arms, both of them crying.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s been a long time, but I always knew you’d come see us when you were ready.” His mother drew back and reached into the pocket of her skirt, handing Billie a small cellophane package of tissues.
“Thank you.” Billie pulled out a few and handed the package back to her.
“That’s for you.” She pulled another package of tissues from her other pocket. “I thought we might both need them. Why don’t we go inside and have some iced tea while we chat?”
Billie nodded as she wiped her eyes, and they headed inside.
The house smelled just like it always had, like sunshine and roses. The cozy living room had the same tan sofa and love seat she, Dare, and Eddie had sat on hundreds of times, eating his mom’s cookies and talking with his parents, while giving each other secret glances that said, Have we been social enough? Can we go have fun now? Eddie smiled down from a picture on the mantel, standing between his parents at their high school graduation. He was so handsome in his cap and gown, with his sun-kissed skin, his shaggy hair curling around his ears, and that contagious smile lighting up his eyes.
“Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get us some tea.” His mother headed into the kitchen.
Billie sat on the love seat, trying to rein in her emotions, but there were pictures of Eddie on the walls and bookcases, and she had the strange thought that he might come down the hall and say, I’m glad you’re here. We’ve been waiting for you. As her gaze passed over pictures of him from childhood to adulthood, with his grandparents and parents, with her and Dare and their families, she realized he’d already said that to her. He’d just done it without words, by giving her the courage to walk inside. A lump lodged in her throat. She looked at the pictures on the bookcase. In most, he was holding a video camera. She’d seen all the pictures before, but they hit deeper now. This was all that was left of their son, of one of her best friends. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she pulled out more tissues, swiped at them, trying to pull herself together.
“It’s okay, honey,” Eddie’s father said.
She’d forgotten he was in the room. “Sorry.”
“There’s no need to be sorry when you’re shedding tears for our boy,” his father said. “We know how much you kids loved each other. You three running around and causing mayhem was the best thing this quiet little town has ever seen.”
A soft laugh tumbled out along with more tears. Did she have an endless well of them? “We had a lot of fun.”
“Yes, you did,” his mother said affectionately as she came into the room with a tray of glasses and a pitcher of iced tea. She set the tray on the coffee table and poured them each a glass, handing one to Billie.
“Thank you.” She tried again to pull herself together as his mother sat on the sofa beside her husband.
“We’ve kept up with how you’re doing over the years through your family and the Whiskeys, but we’d love to hear it from you,” his father said.
Billie took a deep breath. “I’m doing well, but if you’d asked me that two months ago, my answer would have been very different.”
“Honey, you wouldn’t have let us get close enough to ask you anything two months ago,” his mother said gently.
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I’ve hurt a lot of people, myself included. But I’ve been spending a lot of time with Dare, and he’s helped me to see things more clearly, and I’m trying to make amends with the people I’ve pushed away. That’s why I asked if you would mind talking with me today. I want to tell you the truth about the day we lost Eddie.”