I carried both guilt and relief for that, one only eliciting the other… a vicious circle.
“Come on, it’s freezing out here.” Harper waved toward the house. “Addy, help your aunt with her bags.”
Addy bounced up to me. I forgot how much energy she had.
“I’ve really missed you.” She squeezed me again, reaching for my suitcase. “I’m so ready to come back.”
I grabbed the Christmas presents, shutting the door.
“Mateo, Elena, and Sophie are begging me to return.” She chattered on. “The spring fling dance is coming up soon. It’s a dance where the girls ask the guys.”
We stepped into the warm house, the place decorated, the fire going, smelling already of lasagna, our traditional Christmas Eve dinner.
“I’m gonna ask Mason.”
“What?” I snapped, my head jerking to her, my body going rigid. Quickly I tried to counter my response. Smoothing out my features, I placed the gifts under the tree. “You’re going to ask Mason to the dance?”
“Yeah. I know he says he doesn’t dance, but it’s not really about dancing anyway.”
“Oh?” I cocked my head. “What’s it about then?” Every word was tight.
“The dresses, the party after, being with friends and renting a limo together. Plus, they have a spring princess and prince.” Her smile grew euphoric. “Mason will definitely win. He basically wins every time even though he never goes.”
“And you think he’ll go to this one?” Stay neutral, stay neutral. Perspiration heated under my jacket, my hands tearing it off, feeling my face hot.
“I know it’s a long shot, but…” She dramatically flopped onto the sofa. “I thought I was getting over him, but when he texted me back the other day, I realized I hadn’t. I still really like him.”
“He texted you back?” My throat struggled to swallow.
Her cheeks pinked, pouring acid straight into my gut.
Needing to get away, I rolled my suitcase down the hall to the guest room, shutting the door.
I felt sick. Not only because Addison was still crushing on the guy I had been fucking for several days straight, but the idea he could be playing with me. I was the one who declared it was just sex, nothing more, but if he was chatting to Addy while he was in bed with me?
No. It was wrong.
A crazed laugh sobbed up. All of this was wrong, and I let it happen. It shouldn’t have gotten this far, and now I felt so tangled up in a mess set for disaster and heartbreak.
“Emery?” Harper called to me. “Want to come help decorate the Christmas cookies?”
“I’ll be right there.” I forced cheer into my voice. Taking deep breaths and pulling myself together, I went back out with a smile pinned on my face.
Holiday music played in the background, and I joined them in the kitchen. Addy was already dancing around, decorating the cookies, while Harper checked on the dinner.
“Everything smells so good. Can I help with anything?”
“No!” Harper and Addison replied, shaking their heads profusely.
“Hey now.” I folded my arms. “I’m not that bad. I’ve actually been cooking a lot this past week.” I crunched down on my teeth because of the reason why. They wouldn’t link it to him, but he seemed right on my tongue whenever I opened my mouth.
“True, you’ve gotten a bit better.” Addison agreed. “The hamburger patties were good.”
“Wow, that’s my extent, huh?” I ruffled her hair, trying not to recall that after we burned dinner last night, he went straight to making brownies, but he ended up licking the batter off my boobs instead.
“You okay?” Harper tilted her head.
“Yeah, why?”
“You just looked flushed.”
“It’s warm in here,” I fibbed, fanning my face, disregarding the ache between my legs. Just the idea of him had me hot and bothered.
It was another thing I had never experienced before. I dated, had sex, and had many crushes. I had never been this riled up, smitten, or horny. Not like this. It was as though he had awakened something in me, and I couldn’t get enough. And even after giving me the best orgasms of my life, the moment he left my house, I wanted him to come back.
“Actually, what you can do is help with the salad.” Harper put the items next to me at the counter.
“That I can do.” I set down my phone, grabbed a knife and cutting board, and got to work.
“Dinner will be ready in an hour.” Harper peered at the baking lasagna. “And…” she tapered off.
“What?”
“Kevin is coming over.”
“Oh.” I smiled. “That’s great. You guys making it more official now?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Mom, just admit it. You looovvveee him.” Addison snickered, bumping my shoulder. Clearly, Addison not only knew about him, but fully approved. I could see in the short time here, how much their relationship had mended. They were more back to how they once were.
Harper rolled her eyes. “You think you will be okay with him coming?” she asked me.
“Of course.”
“It’s just…”
Oh right. His connection to Ben. “It’s fine, Harp. I’m happy to meet him. Or I guess re-meet.”
Harper looked at me with intuition and intensity, which made me shift.
“What?”
“I don’t know. Something is different about you.” She studied me, her eagle-like gaze going to my right hand, seeing the ring was gone. “Even from when I last saw you.”
“Right?” Addy nodded in agreement. “You seem happy.”
“I was happy before.”
“Maybe on the surface, but there was a sadness around you.” Addison shrugged. “Now, I don’t know. You just…”
“Glow.” Harper’s tone was poignant, her arms folding. “Who is he?”
“What?” I sputtered, my face starting to burn again. “Who’s who?”
“The guy putting the smile on your face.”
“No-no one.” I shook my head.
“Oh my god, is it Dr. Ramirez?” Addison gasped, she and her mother barreling down this road together, while I felt the same as an animal stuck in the headlights about to get run over.
“No.” I swallowed. “There’s no one. I swear!” Why did that sound like a lie to me too?
“Bullshit.” Harper pointed at me. “I know you, little sister. And I know what a good…” She mouthed fucking. “Looks like.”
“Harper!”
“Like I don’t know what you both are talking about.” Addy rolled her eyes. “I’m not a child. I’m seventeen.”
“Don’t remind me.” Harper groaned.
Turning back to the lettuce, I tried to pretend the conversation was over, a weight sitting in my stomach.
On the counter between Addison and me, my cell lit up with a text. My brain still wound up about what just happened, it took me a moment to respond to seeing Addison look over at the screen. Her forehead lined with confusion, her eyes darting up to mine.
“Why is Mason texting you?”