“She’s my daughter! My problem. Not yours. You have enough to deal with.”
“And you know I want the best for her. Honestly, Harp, the more you try to rein her in, the more she’s acting out. This might be the smartest thing for your relationship.”
Harper slumped against the fridge, her face looking like she wanted to break down.
“So, I lose both you and Addison?”
“You’re not losing us. We’ll be four hours away.”
“Maybe I move with you guys.”
I tilted my head. My sister loved her job, and it gave her really good benefits. She couldn’t afford to leave right now. Plus, not only did I suspect my sister was already seeing someone, but she loved this town too much. She never wanted to leave it.
Harper sniffed, wiping a tear from her face. “I don’t want to, but I don’t know what else to do.”
Her sentiment echoed in my head long after she left, my heart breaking as I packed up some of my things, deciding to leave most of it behind. I carried Ben enough with me. I didn’t want the new place to be another echo of all I had lost.
This would be a fresh start. A new beginning for Emery Campbell, which felt like a betrayal to Ben, as if I had turned away from the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with.
“I don’t want to…” I grabbed Ben’s old hoodie, which I wore every night, holding it to my chest. “But I don’t know what else to do.”
Chapter 5
Emery
“I love it!” Addison squealed, her face glowing as she bounced around her new bedroom. I watched pain streak over Harper’s face at seeing her daughter so happy. Addison seemed thrilled to be moving away from Harper, but my sister forced a smile on her face, absorbing the rare moments Addison smiled anymore.
“You must follow every rule your aunt Emery lays down.” Harper wiggled her finger at her daughter.
“Yes, of course.” Addison rolled her eyes, turning back to the small but adorable bedroom she would live in for the school year.
My house sold quickly, and I was able to secure an adorable two-bedroom, two-bath cottage near my new job and the high school Addison would be attending next week. The cottage was small and old, but it had a large garden/backyard. The couple before had developed it into an English dream garden, with wildflowers, vegetables, and cobblestone pathways. The deck overlooked the stunning backyard, with a grill and hot tub. The backyard was the reason I bought this house. The inside needed work, but the garden more than made up for it.
“I’m not kidding, Addy. One call telling me you skipped school or broke one of her rules, you are coming back home.”
Addison exhaled an exaggerated breath. “Yes. I. Get. It.”
Harper’s jaw clenched at her attitude, and she looked over at me like you sure you want to take this on?
I smiled a yes, though my nerves jumped up and down. I could be making this worse, but we were in too deep now. All I could do was take it day by day with her.
Addison’s mood flipped again in a breath as she jumped with a squeal on her full bed, the white and purple comforter puffing up.
“You have all your schoolbooks and stuff you need?” Harper asked.
“Yep.” Addy looked down at her watch. “Oh shit! I got to go. Cheerleading tryouts start in fifteen minutes.” She bounded back up, heading for the door.
“Hey?” Harper frowned. “Aren’t you going to say bye? I’m heading back soon.”
“Bye, Mom.” She hugged her mom briefly before darting out the door, not even sounding a bit remorseful.
When the front door slammed, I moved to my sister, rubbing her arm. “She’s a teenager.”
“And fuck, does she make sure she gives me the full experience.” Harper scoured her forehead, fighting back her tears.
“She loves you. She needs to work out her anger and hurt. Remember what you were like at her age?”
“I think that’s why I’m getting punished.” She huffed. “What goes around comes around.”
Being six years younger, I watched Harper go through her rebellious teenage years and what it did to our mom. They weren’t even as close as she and Addy.
“I’m so happy she’s trying out for cheerleading. Honestly, I’m shocked at how excited she got when she saw the flyer at the school. I’m happy for anything getting her back to things she used to love.” Harper swallowed, forcing a smile on her lips. “No matter how much it hurts, I think being here is the best thing for her. She needed to get away from the crowd she was hanging around with and her father. Maybe here she can get back on track.”
I nodded, hoping both Addison and I could get back on track.
A few hours after Harper left and the house was quiet as I went through the last of the boxes. My heart squeezed as I pulled out the framed picture of my wedding day, my fingers sliding over Ben’s smiling face. A surge of anxiety and terror climbed up the back of my throat. Did I do the right thing? I walked away from my life, from my friends and family. From everything of his. Alisa had taken a lot of Ben’s items. Her resentment over me leaving, walking away from her son, was never expressed, but it was felt. John was the only one who still called me, who tried to act as if I were still part of their family, but without Ben, both seemed to struggle to keep me part of it. There were no kids to tie us, nothing but memories of Ben. She saw me as a traitor now, hating me for leaving, but she resented me more for being there. A reminder of the son she no longer had.
What she didn’t keep went to the Home Hospice Thrift Store. Some stranger would wear his suits, walk down the street in his shoes. Someone’s life was put into a box and given away to someone else to live in.
My gaze went down to my hand, the diamond wedding band still on my finger. I kept his in my jewelry box. I also held onto our photos and his sweatshirt. The rest I forced myself to leave behind, and now a part of me was regretting it.
Grief cracked open my chest as I leaned over the photo of a time when we were so happy. I cried, feeling the panic of letting him go. Why didn’t I beg him to make love to me right then instead of going on his run? Why was getting his party together more important than taking a moment with him? Would he still be alive if he didn’t go?
The guilt and what-ifs circled me, hounding me like demons come to life.
“Aunt Emery!” An excited screech jolted me up, and I hastily wiped my eyes as Addison barrelled into my room. “Guess what?”
“What?” I sniffed, putting on a false smile I was used to wearing now, acting as if I wasn’t about to lose it.
Addison’s gaze went to me, then to the photo in my hand, her shoulders sinking, her excitement evaporating. I hated I could rip joy from her so quickly.
“What?” I placed the picture down, my voice bouncing with eagerness I didn’t feel, needing to see that smile back on her face.
“I made the squad!” Her cheer was half of what she came in with.
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, wrapping her up in a quick hug. “That’s so exciting. I’m so happy for you.”
Her light brown eyes glittered with more enthusiasm. “I can’t believe it, but the head cheerleader came up to me after, telling me I was the best tryout they had seen.” She jumped up and down. “I’m so excited. I’m getting my uniform tomorrow, and practices start later this week. We can be ready when school starts next week.”