It will, however, change things for Leo.
There are reasons I’ve been his emergency contact for more than half our lives. Reasons why there’s paperwork on file at every local hospital giving permission for me to be with him regardless of any policies for visitors and visiting hours.
One of those reasons is that my brother, the infamous Beast of Bishop’s Landing, has the worst white-coat syndrome of anyone on earth.
His blood pressure skyrockets at the sight of a medical building. I’ve sat in many, many appointments with him, watching him get more and more snappish and unreasonable. Then, once we’ve walked out: I couldn’t hear a damn thing they said. My heart was pounding in my ears.
Finn: I hope everything’s okay.
I know I should shut him out. Keep him at arm’s length. But I’m too focused on staying calm to do it.
Eva: Haley’s gone into labor. It’s early and seems sudden, so I’m not sure if there will be complications. I’m arriving at the hospital now.
Finn: Is there anything you need?
For you to understand that I love you. For you to understand that you can’t freeze out our baby. I won’t even give you the chance.
I don’t get the chance to send a response. My driver pulls up at the hospital’s emergency entrance and another text arrives.
Leo: They took her away.
Shit.
My driver hands off the keys to the valet and comes with me into the building. A nurse is waiting to take us to the OB wing. Two of Leo’s people are waiting outside the doors wearing grim expressions.
I go through and find two more nurses speaking in hushed tones at the nurses’ station, stealing glances at a door across the way.
Not a great sign.
When my brother is most afraid, he doubles down on being in control. I’m not sure it’s a winning strategy at the moment.
I follow the sound of his voice to a room marked TRIAGE and find Leo arguing with a nurse, his face pale. He’s standing up too tall and too tense. Half a step, and he’d be looming over her.
“—understand. This wasn’t the plan. How long are you going to keep me from my wife?”
“It depends on the procedure to—”
“How long exactly?”
“Leo.” I step into the room and go to his side, giving the nurse a small smile. A line appears on her forehead. I’d be wary if I were her, too. “My name is Eva. I’ll be staying as a support person. What’s the situation with Haley?”
“Tell her,” barks Leo.
The nurse doesn’t flinch. “Haley is being prepped for a C-section. It is urgent, but she’ll be able to be awake during the procedure. No one can enter the operating room until her spinal block has been placed.”
No wonder he can’t hear. They wheeled his heart into another room and are currently putting a needle into her spine.
Leo’s vibrating with fury. That’s what it looks like to everyone else, anyway. But his fear has always looked like anger. He cultivated that idea on purpose.
It works on other people. Not so much on me.
“What are the next steps?” I ask the nurse, a hand on his elbow. If he’s going to completely lose his shit, it’s best that nobody else is in the room.
“You’ll wait here until I come back with scrubs. When it’s time, I’ll escort you to the operating room.”
Leo glares at her until she’s gone, his dark eyes murderous.
I rub at his arm. “You have to calm down.”
“This is because of me.” He looks down at me, the nurse forgotten, a terrified red spreading across his cheeks. “I made this happen.”
“Leo. What?”
“I had a dream last night that something went wrong with the baby. With her cord. And when we got here, they took one look at that monitor and said the fucking thing might be wrapped around her neck. Then they took both of them. What if this was because of me?”
“It wasn’t you,” I soothe. “It was just a—a coincidental dream. Don’t think about it anymore. We’re just going to wait for the nurse to bring the scrubs, and I’ll walk down there with you. How’s Haley?”
“I don’t know. I can’t see her.” He grits his teeth. “I barely had time to talk to her.”
“The doctors here are good. Remember? You interviewed most of them. You can trust these people.”
“The way you could trust Finn?” He’s scowling now, eyes narrowed and dark. I know that look. He’s hunting for a problem he can solve. By force, if necessary.
“We don’t need to talk about Finn right now.”
“Yes, we do.” He’s insistent, tone sharp. “You’re sad. You’ve been sad for days. What did that motherfucker do to you?”
“Nothing.”
He paces away, stabbing a finger in my direction. “Don’t lie to me. He hurt you. I want to know what he did. I want to know why you’ve been so goddamn sad. Don’t bother pretending you’re not.”
“Jesus. I’m thirty-three. Calm down.”
Leo laughs, and the sound tells me exactly how hard he’s spiraling. He’s basically unhinged from fear. “No, I don’t think I will. I think I’ll kill him like I should have killed Lane.”
“Leo.” It’s ice water and adrenaline to hear him say that. The words dredge up old memories filtered through shock and pain. I’m not aware of crossing the room to him. Only that I’ve taken his face in my hands and given him a desperate shake. It’s over the top. I don’t care. The thought scares me to death. “Don’t say that.”
His teeth scrape together. Leo’s been taller than me and stronger than me for years, but right now, he’s on the verge of breaking down. Fixating on revenge is the only way he can think to regain control. It’s a fire lighting in his eyes behind a sheen of furious tears.
But he can’t say that. Not here.
Because after Lane Constantine died, the cops learned I’d had an affair with him. That made me a suspect. Leo’s reputation as my ultra-protective, violent brother made him one, too. We were both questioned.
Neither of us had alibis for that night. Secretly, I’ve always suspected that Leo might have been the one to murder Lane. Sometimes, I think he secretly suspects me.
In the end, it doesn’t matter if one of us was the killer. I would never let him go to prison for Lane’s death, and he would never let that happen to me.
Still, the past is in the room with us now. Again. And if I lose his attention, if he goes down that path, he’ll lose it.
“You’re holding your breath.” I don’t think he knows. “You’d feel better if you let it out.”
“That fucker,” he says, his voice rough, “messed you up for life.”
“I’m not messed up.”
He widens his eyes, and from this close, I can see the accusation there. His worry. His fear. Those memories feel like a crowd in this silly triage room with Haley’s hospital bag abandoned on the floor. New memories pile on. All of them include Finn.
“Well, I went and broke my own rule.” I meant to sound defiant and dismissive, but my voice breaks instead. “I fell in love, and—”
The first sob catches me off guard.