“And how would you know that?”
“Because I’ve seen a man in love before.”
“What, your sister’s husband?”
This time, Haley gives me a look, a shadow flickering over her eyes. “My sister has what is essentially an arranged marriage. I’m not sure they’ve ever been in love. I’m talking about Leo, obviously.”
“Obviously,” I echo. But a man in love wouldn’t have freaked out the way Finn did. A man in love wouldn’t have been so cold. “But Leo never—”
“Told me it was over and kicked me out of his house? Yes, he did.”
“He did not.”
“Daphne didn’t tell you? She was there.”
Oh, I am going to have a stern discussion with both Leo and Daphne. “She was vague about the details. I just knew that you had gone home, and Leo was…”
“Beside himself. Because he was in love with me. And maybe Finn’s not in love with you, but I don’t buy it. I think he is. But mostly, I’m happy for you. I wish you’d have told me. I want to be there for you, Eva. You’ve been here for me. It’s a two-way street.”
The baby stirs, one fist popping up in an uncoordinated stretch. She opens her eyes. I hold my breath, waiting for her raspy cry. But then her eyes close again, and slowly, slowly, she drifts to sleep.
We both admire her in silence for a little while.
“How was it? The birth, I mean.”
Haley lets out a long breath and meets my eyes. “It was scary,” she admits. “I didn’t expect for labor to come on so fast. All the books said it would be gradual, but it wasn’t. And it hurt.” Her eyes get huge. “I mean, wow. Then we got here…”
She looks down at her daughter, and my heart squeezes.
“We got here, and things seemed okay. One minute, it was fine. The next, there were, like, six people in the room. I had to sign a paper in the middle of a contraction. And I just—I wanted to cry.” Haley laughs. “I held it together, though. I thought Leo was going to chase us down the hall to the operating room if I shed even a single tear.”
“Yeah. I think he would have.”
“It was…not good, being in there alone. I hated it. And the pain was so much worse once I wasn’t with him. But everyone was kind. Once I was numb, it wasn’t so bad. Then they let Leo come in, and then it was okay. It was good.”
A tear slips down her cheek. Haley’s chin quivers.
“It’s okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“I had hoped—” Haley breaks off, her voice thick. “I had hoped to just—to deliver her the way I imagined. I don’t know. Maybe it would have been worse. But I didn’t even get to try.”
I take her hand and squeeze it. “I’m proud of you.”
“Me too. I think I’m just still coming to terms with it. I’m so glad she’s okay.” More tears spill over, and Haley laughs. “I was more worried about her than anything.”
“I’m so happy you’re both here. I can’t—” I have to fan at my own eyes. “I’m so glad everything’s okay, Haley.”
We both end up staring at the baby again.
I can’t believe how much I love my new niece. Of course I expected to love her, but this feeling? This? I would kill for her. Die for her. And she’s two hours old.
Haley’s puffy from surgery. Her hair is in a slightly disheveled bun. She’s clearly exhausted, but when she strokes her baby’s cheek, her face shines with love. I feel indescribably lucky to be able to sit in the glow of it.
Which is why it might be worth it.
Even if Finn never sees my point of view, and even if he never comes around, our baby could be absolutely worth it. He can try to stay emotionally separate, if that’s truly what he wants.
In that case, I wouldn’t have everything that Haley does. But I’d still have the love of my child. And I’d love him to the moon and back.
“I guess it’s probably time,” Haley says.
“For me to go?”
She meets my eyes with a bright, teary smile. “No. Not unless you want to. I think it’s time to tell you the news.”
“Is there…more news? Other than that she’s born?” My family is still reeling from Finn’s big pregnancy announcement. If any other bombshells land tonight, I’ll be forced to lie down.
I feel Leo enter the room behind me.
“It’s okay,” Haley says. “We’ll talk more later.”
“Did you tell her?” Leo comes to the side of the bed and slides on next to Haley, wrapping his arm carefully around her. He touches the baby’s nose with the pad of his finger.
“Tell me what?” My mind spins a hundred possible scenarios. Something they’ve discovered about the baby now that she’s born. Something to do with the family. His house? I’m hazy with the emotion of the day. I was terrified. I can admit it now that the uncertainty has passed.
“We chose her name.” Leo traces a path down the baby’s blanket to her tiny hand. It opens at his touch, and then her fist is wrapped tightly around his finger.
“You did?”
This scene is going to break my heart into a million pieces. It’s too sweet, and I want it for myself too much. At the same time, I’m overwhelmed by joy for them. Real joy.
“Her first name is Abigail.” Haley’s voice is soft. Shy.
“Abigail.” I reach out and adjust her tiny pink cap. “I love it. Will you call her Abby?”
“Leo’s been doing that for weeks. He practices calling for her when nobody’s at the house.”
Leo doesn’t bother to look sheepish. “I did. But now she’s here. It’s the real thing.”
“It’s absolutely beautiful. Just like her.” I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Does she have a middle name?”
“Eva,” Leo says.
I look up at him, my fingertip on Abby’s cheek. His eyes have a rare sheen. “Yes?”
“Her middle name is Eva,” Haley says. “After you.”
12
FINN
I have to tell Hemingway that Eva’s pregnant.
It’s the number-one item on my agenda, aside from figuring out the rest of my life.
After the hospital, I go home and toss and turn in my bed. Dreading a conversation makes for excellent sleep and an even better day at the office. By five o’clock I’m overcompensating for how tired and surly I feel, forcing exaggerated politeness onto my staff until my secretary grits her teeth.
When I get home, I brace myself. If my father’s having a bad day, I’m not sure I have the emotional fortitude to handle him and Hemingway at the same time.
But…
It’s quiet.
No excuses left now.
I’ve spent years making sure Hemingway knew about safe sex. I had to make him understand that children were a terrible risk. Which is why it makes perfect sense that I’m the one who fucked up.
I can’t let him hear through the grapevine like the engagement.
That was fake, anyway. This is real.
Fifteen minutes to change out of my work clothes and wash the day off in the shower. Then I go find him.