I felt my eyes widen. “What if you’re wrong?”
“That has never happened. Not once. It is a very specialized agency. Run by an elite group of men.”
“You said you owned a security company.”
He sat back. “I do.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ll tell you, if you want to know.”
“I do.”
“Okay, then. Get comfortable, Raven. This will take a while.”
I shook my head. “So, Matteo, Marcus, and Julian all now live on an island somewhere with their families.”
“Yes.”
“Leo was badly hurt and works with you now.”
“Yes.”
“Egan really blows up buildings plus, ah, other things and still works on some projects where his specialist training is needed. Your cousin helps out medically if required. You run all the computer systems in this country, keeping the agency hidden and the people safe?”
“I think you followed me pretty well.”
“And most of the security people are ex-agents?”
“Not all, but some.”
“So, you are all trained killers.”
“I told you that you kissed the right man, Raven. But no one can protect you better.”
I blew out a shaky breath. “I think I need to sit down.”
He smiled. “You are sitting, baby.” He held out his arms. “Would you feel better on my lap?”
I scrambled to my feet and dove onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I greedily inhaled his scent and felt the comfort of his embrace. It warmed me, grounded me.
He pressed a kiss to my head. “Trust me, Raven. You are safe.”
“I already trusted you. Now my mind is in overdrive.”
He chuckled. “I am a consultant with Hidden Justice. Way deep in the background. So is Egan. I run the agency. He does some work, but his name isn’t associated with the agency or anywhere but his gym and a couple other businesses.”
“Like?”
I grinned. “The master explosive expert loves to paint pretty landscapes, and he has created a very popular line of cologne and perfume he works closely with a company on. Apparently he has a gifted nose for fragrance.”
“Oh, ah, wow. And you?”
He glanced down, cupping my cheek. “I hang around pubs hoping to find a damsel in distress. I hit the jackpot last week.”
I sighed, looking down. “Can I ask you some questions?”
“You can ask me anything you want.”
I looked up, meeting his blue eyes. “Have you killed people?”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Damien
I wasn’t surprised by her question. And I wanted to be honest with her. I had seen what omissions and withholding the truth had done to relationships. I didn’t want my past to be an obstacle for us. I didn’t want her frightened of me either.
“Yes,” I replied. “I have killed people. People who bring great pain and suffering to others. It’s part of the mandate.”
“How many?”
I shrugged. “I never counted, Raven. I did what I had to do to protect innocent lives. I saved far more than I ever killed. They were the lowest of the low. The dregs of humanity that preyed on others.” I scratched my head. “I was never a full-time field operative. I preferred the background. The recon and planning. It’s where my talent was best used. I only went on some missions. Not all of them.”
“Why did you stop?”
“It takes its toll on a person. Matteo knew what he wanted to do from a young age because of something that happened to his sister. Marcus sought revenge for the death of his parents. He wanted to save others from losing someone they loved. Julian was a natural leader who had nothing to live for but the job. Then they all found something more important.” I shifted, running my hand up and down her arm, hoping she understood what I was saying. “I did it as a job. A service. But I saw my friends shot, hurt, almost lose whom they loved the most. And my reasons were different. I never wanted to move up in the ranks, run a team. I am a strong part of the cause with my computer skills. I protect those who have the calling by keeping their identity safe. I can step in when needed, but when Julian left, I knew my loyalty was to my bosses more than the calling. You have to be one hundred percent invested. I wasn’t. I help if needed. I give them information to aid the cause. But I am not good as a full team member anymore. I like running Elite. Helping other guys like me who needed to get out but have a lot to offer. Julian was smart to open the firm. I’m proud to keep it going.”
“Are you in danger?”
“No.”
“Egan?”
I huffed. “That’s up to him. He takes on assignments when needed. But he has never been a front man. Marcus brought him on board, and when Marcus retired, Egan became freelance. He runs his gym. Paints. He does actually work a legitimate job for a company that demolishes buildings. If needed, he steps in for HJ. And he works on occasion for Elite. He likes to dress in a tux and look fierce,” I said, hoping to make her smile. She seemed okay with what I had told her, but she was pale.
A glimmer of a smile appeared, but she was still processing.
“So that’s why you were so confident you could find Andy?”
“I still am. We’re digging deeper. He can’t hide forever. One thing I’ve learned is perps always slip up. They get overconfident. Make mistakes. He knows how to cover his tracks, but we’ll find a glitch and follow it.”
“And in the meantime, you’re stuck with me. I’ve turned your life upside down. Caused you so much trouble.”
I frowned. “That’s not how I see it, Raven.”
She pursed her lips, and I lifted her chin, stroking the soft skin while holding her gaze.
“I hate that he frightened you. But I’m grateful it was me you ran into. Our connection is very real, Raven. Don’t you feel it?”
She bobbed her head in agreement.
“I like having you here. I hate that I have to protect you, but I like doing it. I like being the guy you turn to. And I love having you here with me. Don’t doubt that. I meant what I said before. If you stay forever, I’m good with that. More than good.”
Her lips quivered, and I felt the shudder go through her body. I pulled her closer, my mouth close to her ear. “I’m falling for you, Raven. Hard. I’ll keep going slow until you catch up with me, but know I’m right here. With you. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Her pretty green eyes were wide, glistening with tears under the lights. “I’m here too, Damien. I just can’t stand the thought of you hurt because of me.”
“Not happening. We’re going to find Andy and get him out of your life and stop him from doing this again. He won’t get to me or you. Understand?”
She nodded, but I saw her worry. Felt her tension. She stood, leaving my arms, walking around the apartment, stopping at the window and staring into the darkness and the streets below. I could almost feel her mind racing, trying to come to terms with what I had told her, understand the life I had led. Still led. She turned and looked at me.