Without a word, she walks down the hall toward me and opens her arms wide, taking me in for a hug.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I hold her close, unable to swallow back the lump in my throat any longer as the tears finally slip past my defenses.
I don’t know how long she hugs me, how long she lets the recent events settle into my bones. But the silence does shit to quiet my racing thoughts. I’m so overwhelmed. So frustrated. So…blown away by the entire situation.
“What happened?” she murmurs. Her voice is nothing but a breath in the otherwise quiet room.
My shoulders slump in defeat. “Theo thought it would be a great idea to prove he cares about me by making some big gesture in the locker room. Unfortunately, it blew up in his face, and Coach fired me.”
“No,” she murmurs in disbelief.
I squeeze her a little tighter. “Everything I worked for, Mia. It’s all gone.”
“Shhh... ” She guides me to the couch. I collapse onto the cushion, and she joins me, her expression pinched with concern. “Tell me everything.”
By the time I’m finished, I’m a blubbering mess with a wad of tissues in my hand. I can’t help it. I’m tired of being strong. Of getting back up again and fighting for a future I’m not even sure I want anymore.
“Fuck him, Blake,” Mia announces as I wipe beneath my nose with a tissue. “You should’ve let the bastard quit.”
“I couldn’t do that to him. He loves hockey.”
“I don’t care. He screwed you over.”
I bite my tongue to keep from defending Theo, especially when we both know he doesn’t deserve it. But it still hurts. My feelings for him. The loss of my internship. The sweetness of his insane gesture, no matter stupid it was. I told him. I told him it was a bad idea. I told him to wait. But he didn’t listen. Didn’t care enough about my opinion to take it seriously. And look who’s face it blew up in.
Sniffling, I suck my lips between my teeth and try to steady my breathing as I shrug one defeated shoulder. Because I don't know what to say or what to do. Not anymore. Nothing will fix this.
I don’t know if I should be mad at Theo or flattered or––
A loud pounding against the door echoes throughout the townhome, followed by a deep voice. “Open the door, Blake! Open it right now.”
My head falls in my hands, and I rub at the moisture clinging to my cheeks.
“I’m serious, Blake. Open the damn door. Now!” Theo yells.
Mia touches my knee and squeezes softly. “Do you want me to answer?”
I nod, then shake my head before nodding again.
I have no idea what I want.
“I’m going to answer it,” she decides for me. “What do you want me to say?”
“I dunno.” I sniffle again. “I can’t talk to him right now.”
With a sad smile, she pats my knee and stands up, heading to the door.
The hinges squeak softly as she opens it, but I lay on the couch in the fetal position to keep out of sight. I don’t want to face him. I don’t want to see him or talk to him. I’m too hurt to do anything but sit here on the couch and cry.
I can still hear him, though.
“Where is she?” he demands. Desperation taints his voice, making my heart squeeze in pain.
“She doesn’t want to talk right now.”
“Let me in, Mia,” he begs. “I need to fix this.”
“How?” she asks. “How do you think you can fix this?”
There’s a pause, and it acts like a knife in my chest. I don’t say a word. I don’t peek over the edge of the couch. I don’t do anything. I just sit here. Listening to the pain in his voice. Waiting for a solution that’ll fix this. There’s only one problem. I don’t know what the solution is. And I’m afraid Theo doesn’t, either.
“I’ll do whatever she wants,” he pleads.
“I’m not sure she knows what she wants right now. Aren’t you supposed to be at the game?”
“I don’t care about the game.”
I sit up and get to my feet, walking toward the front door like a woman on a mission, even though I have no doubt he can see the evidence from my breakdown written across my tear-streaked face. It’s probably all blotchy and shit, but I don’t even care anymore. Let him see my pain. My frustration. I’m done hiding it from him. It’s all I’ve done for years. I’m sick of it.
When Mia sees me approach, she rocks back on her heels and steps away from the door, leaving it wide open. “I’ll, uh, be in my room.” Her bare feet scuff quietly against the hardwood floor as she walks away, leaving me alone with Theo.
“Fuck, Blake,” he chokes out, taking in my tear-stained cheeks. “You’re killing me.”
“You shouldn’t be here,” I whisper.
“Baby––”
“I’m serious. You should go. You have a game to play. It’s already started. You’re going to be in so much trouble––”
“Don’t do this, Blake.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Bullshit.”
I glare back at him, the curse spreading a fire through my veins. And I’m grateful for it. The anger. The rage. I’ll take anything other than the helplessness I’ve been drowning in.
“You know what? You’re right,” I tell him. “I am doing something. I’m pushing you away. I’m pushing you away because I asked you to not approach Coach, but you did it anyway.”
“I was trying to prove––”
“Yeah. I know,” I spit. “You were trying to prove you could get anything you want without any repercussions to you. And look who got burned for it.”
Pain slashes across his features as he shakes his head and balls his hands into tight fists. “You know I’m sorry. You know I’d do anything to go back and change it.”
“Yeah, well, you can’t.”
“Blake, I care about you.”
I laugh and shake my head, wiping away another stupid tear on my cheek. “Yeah. And that’s the shittiest part about all of this. Because I care about you too.” I suck in a shallow breath. “I’ve always cared about you. For so long, Theo. For so long, I’ve cared about you.” I squeeze my eyes shut, the ache in my chest more than I can bear. “But right now, I’m a little preoccupied because I have to figure out what the hell I’m going to do with my life now that my only option has been ripped away from me.”
“It wasn’t your only option.”
“What else do I have, Theo? Nothing. I have nothing.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Says the guy who has his entire future ahead of him,” I spit. “Tell me. Have you signed with a team yet? After college? Every time I ask, you dodge the question. So, I wanna know. Are you leaving? Does our relationship have an expiration date before it’s even begun? Did I lose my internship for a guy who’s going to leave me anyway?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“You should get back to the game.”
I close the door without waiting for his response, but his hand slaps against the wood, stopping my success.