He lets me go and steps back. “You’re annoying when you’re drunk.”
Whiplashed, I blink slowly, my gaze tracing his steps as he puts more distance between us. “Excuse me?”
“You should get some sleep.”
“Who says I’m still drunk? Buzzed, maybe. But drunk?” I snort. “I think it’s a reach, Teddy Bear.”
Ignoring me, he reaches for my hand and tugs me toward the hall. “Come on. You can sleep it off in my bed.”
“And where will you sleep?”
“On the couch.”
“Or you could always sleep with me,” I offer.
“I’m not gonna fuck you, Blake.”
“Who said I wanted you to?” I counter, disguising my hurt with annoyance as I wrench my wrist away from him. “I said sleep, not fuck. Those are two different things.”
“I don’t sleep with girls.”
“Especially not innocent ones, am I right? Let me guess. You don’t usually kiss them, either.”
He grits his teeth and turns back to me. “I was proving a point.”
“What point?” I demand with a laugh. There isn’t any humor in it, though. I’m too pissed off. Too sexually frustrated to enjoy our banter. Honestly, I kind of want to deck him.
“My point,” he spits, “is a girl like you doesn’t belong with a guy like me––or with any other guy you’d run into at these parties. You should stay away next time.”
“Why? So you can enjoy your party and hook up with whoever you want instead of babysitting me?”
“Exactly.”
“Fine.” I slip past him and head toward the front door, unable to stay in his presence for a second longer.
I’m sure there’s an Uber close by. It’s Friday night in a college town. There has to be. If not, I’ll call Colt. Or maybe I’ll just walk. Maybe the cool air will finally clear my head. Honestly, I don’t know. But I need to get the hell out of here.
I hate this. This rollercoaster. I feel like I’ve been on it with Theo since the moment I turned fifteen and he saw me in a dress on my birthday. A freaking dress. It was the first one I’d worn since I was a toddler and decided shopping in the boys’ section was more fun than anything pink or frilly on the girls’ side.
But the stupid dress changed everything, and until tonight, I hadn’t worn one since. He saw me differently that day. It was like I’d popped the proverbial one-of-the-guys bubble I’d been wrapped in for years. Which is what I thought I’d wanted. Maybe not fully. But a little bit. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect I’d been hoping for. Afterward, I was Colt’s little sister instead of Blakely Thorne, girl next door, and I couldn’t erase the title no matter what I did.
Seems tonight isn’t any different.
His heavy footsteps follow me down the hall before he twists me around, his silence more telling than any words he could utter in this moment. His gaze is frustrated but impenetrable, his protective walls higher than ever as he glares at me. Like I’m the problem. The one who ruined his night. Who forced him to kiss me. In reality, he’s the one who leaned in first and crossed the line. Him. Not me.
“What do you want, Teddy?” I demand, ignoring the warmth from his hand or the way his calloused fingertips tickle the inside of my arm, causing goosebumps to spread along my flesh.
“I want you to stop calling me Teddy and to walk your ass up the stairs so we can both get some sleep.”
“And I want you to drive me home,” I counter.
He lets me go and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I knew this would happen. I knew you’d be a pain in my ass if you decided to come to LAU. I fucking knew it.”
Arms crossed, I spit, “You wanna talk about being a pain in the ass, Theo? All I want is a normal college experience without you babysitting me the entire time. Because guess what? It isn’t your job. I’m allowed to get drunk. I’m allowed to lose my virginity and to have sex with random guys. Including hockey players, I might add, and it’s none of your business.” I jab my finger at his chest. “None. Of. Your. Business. Do you understand?”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
He stares at me, his molars practically cracking. “Now, get your ass upstairs and go to bed before I make you.”
He’s serious. I can see it in his eyes. Feel it in his tense muscles. Hell, it’s tainting the air around us. Stealing all the oxygen in the room until I’m lightheaded and dizzy.
Without a word, I turn on my heel and march up the stairs toward his room. I don’t say anything when I slip beneath his bedsheets. I don’t utter a single syllable as his scent rolls over me, tickling my senses and making my mouth water.
I don’t say a damn word.
Because he doesn’t deserve them. Not my voice. Or my thoughts. Or my feelings.
After tonight, he’s made one thing very clear.
He doesn’t deserve a single piece of me.
Not anymore.
And I’m too stubborn to ever forget it.
4
BLAKELY
Two months later
Sweat drips down my back as my feet pound against the pavement while Eminem blasts through my AirPods.
Push it, I remind myself. Almost there.
I race around the corner and down the sidewalk toward my street, my muscles burning in the most exhilarating way possible. I mean, yeah, it hurts. But exercise is a good hurt. It makes you feel alive. Like you can do anything. If you’re willing to put in the work.
Sure, there’s the bad kind of hurting. When you work too hard and have to stop pushing yourself so you can recover. Sometimes there’s a fine line between the two, and if I learned anything from my kiss with Theo, it’s that I’d gone too far. I’d crossed the line.
He crossed the line.
And I haven’t seen him since.
Not really.
We’ve crossed paths a time or two, but other than a head nod or a forced smile, we’ve been silent. And I refuse to have it any other way.
Which is why today is terrifying.
I cross my imaginary finish line in front of the fire hydrant by our house and place my hands on top of my head as I catch my breath.
In. Hold. Out. Hold. In. Hold. Out. Hold.
My legs ache, and there’s a slight twinge in my knee thanks to blowing it out during my sophomore year of soccer. But otherwise, I feel good.
Or at least I should.
If only my nerves would settle.
After taking the steps to the front porch slowly, I open the door and find Kate, Ash, and Mia surrounding the kitchen table with bowls of cereal in front of them.
“Hey!” they greet me.
“Hey.” I round the small kitchen island and fill a cup with water from the fridge as they continue the conversation I must’ve interrupted when I came inside.
“So you like him, then?” Ash asks Kate.
“I think so,” she hedges, tucking her dark hair behind her ear. “He’s really nice and funny, but…”
“But what?” Mia probes.
“Pause,” I interrupt, taking a quick sip of water. “Who are we talking about?”