“Are you sure?” he asks, dragging me from the thoughts again. “If you’re in pain or coming back here is too hard for you, it can wait.”
I glance up at the front door of my shop and shake my head. “No, I want to be here and check in on things.”
“I told you that I’ve been having Nama and Legs help out your girls to keep the place running while you recover,” he says with a sigh as he closes the truck door and places his hand on the small of my back. His body heat seeps into my skin, and I revel in the comfort it provides again.
The morning after I was rescued, I asked Falcon for an update on The Java Zone, and he assured me that between Nama, Legs, Sage, and Callie, it had been open and running normally for most of the time I was missing. Honestly, I was floored. It’s one thing to know that once he and the club realized I was missing, they jumped into action to figure out where I was being held and rescue me, but it’s another thing entirely for Falcon to understand just how much this place means to me and make it a priority as well. I haven’t yet been able to adequately convey my gratitude for everything he’s done for me, and I don’t know that I ever will.
“I know, Falcon,” I say, hoping he can see the appreciation I have for him and everything he’s done for me. “And I can’t even tell you how much all of it means to me, but I still need to check things out for myself. Besides, I love this place, and they don’t get to take that from me.”
Not when they took so much already.
The two of us still hadn’t spoken much about what happened when I was abducted, and I’m not sure if we ever will. There’s a part of me that wants to give him the gritty details, but the other part hates the idea that he might look at me differently if he knows what I was forced to endure. And that breaks my heart.
He stops outside the front door and watches me for another moment before pulling me off to the side. He gently grips my shoulders and narrows his eyes at me. “Fine, but we’re just checking in and grabbing a bite to eat. I will scoop your ass up and haul you out of here if you even try to lift one single finger and work.”
“You’re getting bossy,” I mutter, and he grins. Warmth rushes through me despite the chill in the air, and my heart thumps in my chest, but I can’t rip my gaze from his. Falcon always looks good, but when he smiles like that, he’s fucking gorgeous.
“Get used to it.”
Yeah.
There is definitely something different between us.
Maybe it’s silly or frivolous of me to be concentrating on the differences in my and Falcon’s relationship when Geno and his men are still out on the loose, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about that. So, in a way, I’m grateful for something else to focus on instead of constantly looking over my shoulder or reliving the shit I went through at the motel. That’s my biggest takeaway from the last three days—I just want to get back to my life. If I allowed it, I could wallow in what happened to me for the rest of forever, but I’m no more willing to allow Geno to control my life than I was to give in to his demands.
He doesn’t get to win.
“Hello,” Falcon calls, once again forcing me from my thoughts, and I blink up at him as he watches me cautiously. “You keep getting lost in your head, sweetheart, and I have half a mind to drag you back to the clubhouse whether you like it or not.”
I shake my head. “I’m okay, Falcon.”
“No,” he scoffs, “you’re not. Like I told you three days ago, you don’t have to tell me what happened to you but stop lying and saying you’re okay when you’re clearly not.”
“I . . .” I start, dropping my gaze to his chest as the words get stuck in my throat. I’m sure it would help if I did open up about what happened in that motel room, but I’m not ready yet. “I want to be . . . I’m trying to be.”
He takes a step toward me and removes his hand from one of my shoulders to brush his thumb lightly over my still-bruised cheek. My lips part in a silent gasp as I look up into his eyes. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Hermoine. I meant what I said that night—you’re one of the strongest women I know, and you did what you needed to do to survive—but you’re safe now, and it’s okay to fall apart if you need to.”
“I don’t think that’s what I need . . .”
“Hermoine,” he says, an admonishment in his tone as he cuts me off, but I shake my head and place my hand against his broad chest. I don’t know what’s happening between us right now, but whatever it is, it feels good, so I’m not going to delve into the meaning behind it.
“No, I’m serious. I’m sure there will be moments when that’s what I need but right now . . . I think what I need is to just get on with my life. I don’t want to let Geno have any more power over me, and I just want to feel normal again.”
His smile is soft as he drags his thumb back and forth across my skin. “See what I mean? Those are the words of a woman who is stronger than I think she realizes.”
“I like your faith in me,” I whisper. There is something about the look in his eyes as he stares down at me, something that makes my heart race and my knees a little weak. It further highlights the changes in our relationship since he rescued me, and I want to ask him what it all means, but I can’t seem to make my mouth work. He drops his gaze to my lips for a split second before meeting my eyes again, and I watch as his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip.
“You want normal?”
I nod. “Yes.”
He sucks in a breath, flicking a glance down to my mouth once more before he meets my eyes and leans in ever so slightly. “Can I kiss you, Hermoine?”
Yes.
The word echoes through my head instantly, taking me by surprise. I hadn’t given much thought to how I would feel if I was ever kissed or touched by a man again, but I suppose I expected panic and fear.
But this is different.
This is Falcon.
And I know, without a single shred of doubt, that he would never hurt me.
“Yes,” I whisper, joining the voice screaming the same word in my head, and he watches me for just a moment before he leans down and presses his lips to mine. It’s everything I’ve spent years fantasizing about and more. In this one perfect moment, I never met Geno. I was never abducted or held hostage in a nasty motel room. I was never beaten, raped, or almost killed. I’m just a woman kissing the man she’s been crushing on for years. I don’t know what any of it means, and I can’t let myself expect anything more, but I can enjoy this one moment where absolutely everything is right in my world.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Falcon
A couple of days ago, Hermoine returned to The Java Zone for the first time since her abduction. I was nervous about letting her go, but I knew if I held her back, it would only cause a conflict between the two of us. She didn’t work that day, but she was checking things out. I mulled over it so much because I had reservations about her going back out in the open, especially since we still haven’t found the other Lucifer’s Heretics MC members. I spoke with my brothers, who volunteered to do shifts at the coffee shop so Hermoine could return to some semblance of normalcy. I understand she wants to move forward and not let this incident shape who she is, and part of that is getting back into the swing of things.