“You don’t have to go.”
“But maybe if I call someone, I might feel better.”
She smiles, feeling she got through to me. I don’t know if that’s true, but I don’t plan on contradicting her.
Teddy: Are you there?
I wait for several minutes before giving up on Seth.
I write a lengthy email with everything that happened last night. This could be a bad idea, but sometimes I feel like he understands me more than anyone else. Once I’m done, I head to eat my lunch. It’s not like I’m hungry, but they don’t allow us to miss a meal.
When I’m back in my room, there’s no response from Seth. I try the next best person. I just don’t know if she’s in a good place.
Teddy: Hey, do you have time to chat?
Pipe: Is everything okay?
Teddy: Why do you assume something is wrong?
Pipe: What happened?
Teddy: Have you ever had nightmares?
Pipe: How bad are they?
Why is she responding to my questions with some of her own? I don’t know what exactly happened while she was gone, but maybe she’s in such a bad place that she can’t help me. Though, it wouldn’t surprise me that she’s helping without thinking about herself.
That’s the beauty about Piper, she’d take off her own coat in the middle of a blizzard to protect others. It doesn’t matter if she might die of hypothermia.
This is my best friend and sister. I can confide in her.
Teddy: I’m afraid to close my eyes. Every day they get worse as I remember what happened during those horrible days I’d rather forget.
Pipe: Have they tried eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy?
I was expecting her to ask for more details. Thankfully, she’s already searching for solutions. I recall someone mentioned EMDR. I searched for that but didn’t get too far before I decided to come to the center.
Teddy: No.
Pipe: Request it, and if they don’t have it, we’ll move you to another facility.
Teddy: Just like that.
Pipe: Of course. You have to be in a place where you feel safe. This doesn’t seem like the right fit or they’re not giving you what you need.
Teddy: They said it takes time.
Teddy: And my therapist mentioned something about things getting worse before they get better.
Pipe: You’ve been there for almost six weeks.
Teddy: Are you keeping track?
Pipe: Of course I am. Grace and I are in charge of you.
Teddy: How so?
Pipe: This isn’t the first time we have had a loved one in rehab.
Teddy: Did a Decker go to rehab, and I didn’t know about it?
Pipe: You don’t have to be a Decker to be a loved one. And technically, you’re a Decker.
Teddy: Aw, you adopted me.
Pipe: You’re married to Seth.
Teddy: That would make me a Bradley.
Pipe: If you don’t plan to take the Decker last name, make sure Grandpa Chris doesn’t find out.
Teddy: Have you heard from him?
Pipe: My grandfather?
Teddy: No, Seth.
Pipe: You’re the only one who has access to him. When was the last time you spoke to him?
Teddy: More than a week ago.
Pipe: We’ll discuss my cousin later. Let’s focus on you.
Teddy: What about me?
Pipe: Go to the main office and demand EMDR therapy. If they don’t have it, text again so we can bail you out.
Teddy: Shouldn’t I finish?
Pipe: You will, but in the center that gives you what you need.
Teddy: I don’t want to bother you, or anyone for that matter.
Pipe: If I wasn't getting the proper care, would you leave me there until it’s over?
Teddy: No.
Pipe: Same. I’ll call Grace and see if she can speak to her aunt Luna. She runs that place.
Teddy: Piper Christine Decker and all the other last names you have, stop being so bossy.
Pipe: I do it because I love you.
Teddy: Are you doing better?
Pipe: From?
Teddy: The last time we talked, you didn’t sound happy.
Pipe: I was tired and grumpy. Go and request what I told you and text me when they give you an answer.
My gut says she’s deflecting and probably hurting. As much as I would love to help her, I can’t do much when I can barely stand on my own.
Will this get any better?
Chapter Fifteen
To: Phillis
From: SI Brad
Subject: Sorry I wasn’t there for you.
At first, I wanted to look at your email from a clinical perspective. Ask a million questions to figure out how to help. I’m glad I took my time to respond to you because I believe you need someone to listen and to say I’m here for you.
I am that person.
If I could, I would go to see you and hug you.
Just know I think of you every second of the day.
There’s nothing I can say that’ll make things better. Just know I admire your strength.
Love,
Seth
To: SI Brad
From: Phillis
Subject: Strength?
People keep saying that word. As if my will to heal were a muscle. If it were, it would look like frail dough, not like your biceps.
Things changed slightly—not one hundred percent. After I emailed you, I texted Piper. I needed one of my people.
You might ask why not my brothers. Though they’re super supportive and loving, they don’t react well to these situations.
Let’s not forget they were trying to force me out of the house instead of finding ways to make me see what’s best for me. I hope they learn to be less alpha with their children.
As I was saying, I reached out to Piper who suggested I request EMDR. Then your sister contacted the person who runs this place, and they switched my schedule. Not just that, they are making several modifications to the center.
She wasn’t happy that they had only one program to cater to everyone. Now we’re all getting individualized attention and schedules. I have a new case manager who’s a better fit. I appreciate everything Grace and Pipe did, but I feel like I drew too much attention toward me. Also, did you know they’re in charge of me? That’s lovely, but weird.
By the way, Piper would like you to call her, or if that’s not possible, she’d like proof of life.
TTYS,
Teddy
To: Phillis
From: SI Brad
Subject: Get used to the Decker love.
Knowing my family, everyone is looking out for you. They do assign ambassadors. It doesn’t surprise me Piper and Grace are the ones in charge. It’s what we do with those we love. More so when they’re part of the family.
You should be proud of what you made happen at the center.
Like you, many people will benefit from having individualized programs.
Tell Piper I can’t talk. RG doesn’t allow it. She’ll know what that means.
So am I to assume things are better? Any more blackout episodes? I’ll be around for a few days so message me or—and this is very important—text me. Love to send you emails but I feel closer to you when I get to text you.
Love,
Seth
Teddy: Hello stranger.
Seth: Shouldn’t you be asleep?
Teddy: Back at you, Bradley.
Seth: We just returned from a mission a couple hours ago.