“You’re such a pessimist,” he said, nipping at her earlobe.
She rewarded him with a laugh that he felt all the way to his fingertips. “I’m really not kidding when I tell you that the list of hopefuls is as long a freeway. And they’re all talented, probably with impressive résumés. Comparatively, I’m a nobody.”
“I wouldn’t recommend this level of confidence once you get back in the kitchen. You’re going to have to do better than that.” Shane pulled back to kiss the cute little crease in her forehead.
“I’m just trying to be realistic. It’s really cutthroat, and I doubt I’ll make it.”
Shane turned her so they could lie side by side in front of the wood stove. “You’re a cutthroat kind of woman. And I mean that as a compliment,” he added when she parted her lips to protest. “Come on. You whipped up tonight’s dinner with a handful of things we grabbed on the way back here and it was amazing. You’re great in the kitchen.”
Bellamy rolled her eyes even though she wore a sheepish smile. “It was lasagna, Shane, with sauce that came from a jar. I could’ve made it in my sleep.”
“Uh-huh. Right. The sauce tasted homemade by the time you were done spicing it up.” That lasagna she was trying to pass off as nothing special had been the best Italian food he’d had since…well, ever.
Her eyes lit up before he could argue with her any further. “Oh! That reminds me. There’s a ton left over, so I wrapped up a bunch in one of those disposable containers we snagged at Joe’s. That way you can bring some to Grady.”
Shane’s heart lurched in his chest, and he pulled back to look at her. “What?”
Her green eyes grew wide. “Well, you said that you sometimes get extra groceries for him, so I thought maybe he’d like it.” Bellamy looked at him, tiny lines of confusion etched on her face.
He’d mentioned the extra groceries thing in passing when he’d grabbed a bag of jelly beans for the stash at the garage, never thinking anything of it. Sure, Bellamy’s gesture was small—she’d just packed up some leftovers—but it felt important, special somehow.
She felt important. Important enough to open up to.
“Shane? Is something wrong?” The confusion on her face crossed the boundary into concern, and she propped herself up on an elbow to look at him more closely. Her green eyes were flecked with gold in the firelight, and he knew she was seeing more than he meant to show.
Bellamy’s voice came out on a whisper. “Do you want to talk about whatever this is yet?”
In that split second, Shane wanted to say yes. He wanted to open his mouth and tell her all the secrets that swirled around in his head, including how right he felt lying here next to her.
But he couldn’t. Eventually, she’d go back to the city, and he’d stay right here, where he belonged. All the talking in the world wasn’t going to change that.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Shane leaned in to kiss her, drowning out the secrets with the feel of her lips on his. “Unless it’s me thanking you for dessert.”
Bellamy sighed softly. “You mean dinner. We didn’t have dessert.”
Shane slipped her body beneath his and his face broke into a devilish smile. “Not yet, sweetheart. But I’m workin’ on it.”
Bellamy chewed her lip and looked out the passenger window of Shane’s pickup. The mid-morning sunshine made it impossible to get more than two steps from the cabin without sunglasses, and even then it still sparkled over the snow-capped pines in a brilliant display of shimmering white on evergreen. She balanced the tray of lasagna in her lap, fiddling with the lid as she stared through the glass.
After they’d traded orgasms in front of the waning firelight, she and Shane had stayed up talking for half the night. He’d listened as she had finally confessed how badly she wanted the job on Carly’s staff, taking in every word before reassuring her that she had a shot. His dark stare made it clear to her that he meant what he said, that despite knowing her for all of a week, he believed in her even when she wasn’t sure she believed in herself.
When he’d finally taken her to bed and wrapped his arms around her as they’d drifted off to sleep, Bellamy had realized that going home wouldn’t be as easy as a scenic drive. She’d come to the mountains to get away from it all, at least temporarily, so she could get back on track. Now there was no track, and the out-of-control feeling that pulsed through her every time Shane so much as looked in her direction left her both breathless and scared stiff.
She knew she had to go home. She just didn’t want to leave Shane behind.
“That is some deep thought you’ve got going on over there,” Shane said, breaking her from her reverie. “Care to share?”
“Truth?” Bellamy stalled, casting a sidelong glance at him.
“Of course,” Shane quipped, just as she’d known he would.
She pulled in a deep breath and let it rush out with her thoughts before she could change her mind. “I was thinking I’d really like it if you’d come see me after this week.”
Shane didn’t move for what felt like an eternity. “You want me to come see you in the city.” His tone was quiet yet inscrutable. Why was her heart pounding so hard?
“Sure. I know it’s not necessarily your thing, but I could show you the sights. Or we could stay in. Or some of both.” She used the cover of her sunglasses to sneak a sidelong glimpse at him, but it didn’t yield much more than a peek at his sunglasses. Damn it.
“Bellamy,” he started, but didn’t continue. God, opening her mouth—and, okay, maybe her heart—like this had been a mistake. This had “it’s not you” written all over it, and she should’ve known that her zero-tolerance policy for anything subtle would bring it out.
She cut him off with a pre-emptive strike in an effort to save her battered ego. “Look, you don’t have to say anything. I know you’re not exactly Philly’s biggest fan.” That much was clear with the dodge-and-deflect he pulled every time she so much as breathed the words “bright lights, big city.” Had she really thought he might come to a place he clearly couldn’t stand just to see her again?
Bellamy shook her head and barreled on. “So, you know, never mind. We said we’d spend the week together, and we are. Let’s just forget I brought it up,” she said, the words so rushed and nervous that they all kind of blended together.
“Okay.”
Her heart sank as though it had been shrink-wrapped in lead. “Okay.”
“When?” Shane asked, his voice hoarse.
Bellamy’s heart thumped hard beneath her sweater. “When what?”
“If you want me to come and see you, I should probably know when to show up.” He pulled the truck onto a narrow shoulder, the pop and crunch of the gravel under the tires doing a number on her already shredded nerves.
“But I thought…I mean, you said okay, like, okay we should just forget it.”
Shane took off his sunglasses. “I meant okay, I’ll come see you. I don’t want to forget it.”
He gave her a tentative smile, so different from the sexy smirks and cocky come-ons that she was used to him dishing out. As they sat in his truck, staring at each other rather than the gorgeous view over the guard rail, Bellamy was struck by the irony of being on the edge of something so stunning and yet so terrifying at the same time.