Safeguarding Kelly(28)
Author: Zoe Dawson

 

He knew he had to be true to himself and at this point, he wasn’t sure what that would turn out to be. He just knew that any decision he made had to include Kelly and Kiko. He wanted them in his life, and he wanted a life in which he could make decisions free and clear. Unfortunately, Kelly was right. They had broken the rules and they knew the consequences.

 

Maybe there was no escaping them and they would have to pay one way or the other.

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER NINE

 

 

 

 

 

Kelly opened her eyes, the imprint of Jason’s mouth against her temple this morning a dreamy memory. She sighed blissfully, then rolled over, grabbing the pillow and breathing deep of his citrus scent. This secret they were keeping was taking its toll on both of them. For Jason, because of his family situation, claiming Kiko was of the utmost importance to him.

 

The guilt and remorse made her gut churn, adding to her remorse for not telling him sooner. It was impossible to keep her heart from him. If they could get past this terrible secret they were keeping, she believed they could build a strong life together with their own traditions. Which brought her around to her own family situation. Her parents’ respect was very important to her, but not at the cost of their happiness, Kiko’s as well as Jason’s.

 

She made a mistake, chalking up her decision to fear and maybe it hadn’t been just Jason she’d been worried about. Thinking in terms of how she’d come to the conclusion that she had to hide this from Jason may have been nothing but a smokescreen for her real deep-seated dread. Losing her dad’s love, respect, and acceptance. She faced her anxieties now. She couldn’t sacrifice everything she wanted in the face of her mistakes. It didn’t make the situation any easier, but it made the waters clearer. Feeling judged her whole life, trying to be perfect and live up to her dad’s expectations had taken a toll, and the errors in judgment all stemmed from her perception that honor meant giving up everything she was for what she considered nothing but pride.

 

Her stomach churned realizing that to move forward, the secret she’d kept all this time would have to come out. Her father would know what she had done—maybe even the Coast Guard.

 

But this elation, this wonderful, gorgeous feeling was so precious. Knowing that Jason was back in her life, Kiko’s father, felt too damn right, even in the face of all that had gone wrong.

 

Kiko’s coughing sent Kelly out of bed. She used her cell to call in to work that she wouldn’t be there, but to call her if they needed her. Grabbing her robe, she entered her daughter’s room and sat down on the bed. “How’s my little girl this morning?”

 

“Still…conbested.”

 

Kelly chuckled softly at the mispronunciation. “Congested, sweetheart,” she said and felt Kiko’s forehead. The fever was gone. With a sigh of relief, she pushed her daughter’s hair back.

 

“Jason felt my forehead, too, Mommy. I was mostly sleeping, but a little awake.”

 

“When?”

 

“This morning before he left.”

 

Kelly had never been so aware of him as a man as she was right now. With the way he was concerned about Kiko, her whole body tingled with the sensation of being close and intimate. She hungered for that to become permanent, for them to be a family. Their lives were complicated, but when it came to their daughter, Kelly closed her eyes and bent down to kiss Kiko’s forehead, their daughter…it was so damn easy.

 

“Do you feel up to some French toast with a happy-to-see-you berry smile?”

 

“I guess. Jason knows how to make blueberries smile, Mommy. Did you get that from him?”

 

The sudden jolt of memory sent a chill through her. She had told Jason that was the way she’d liked her French toast those many years ago in Kodiak. He had remembered and of course, he would guess she had passed her love of berry French toast to their child. It struck her that he had given Kiko some of his extraordinary gifts. He was a good man, the best. And she wondered why some smart woman hadn’t snapped him up.

 

Had he been pining for her?

 

A heavy feeling unfolded in her chest, making her suddenly restless. “No. He learned it from me. We’re friends. Good friends.” The heavy feeling climbed higher. Folding her arms tightly around herself, she tried to will it away. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt so exposed. Especially when Jason always made her feel so safe.

 

She had wanted to contact him so badly after she left, at the very least, to say goodbye, but she couldn’t risk it. They had to sever all communication. She accepted the consequences of her actions, pulled herself together, and marched on. But the thought of his comforting arms haunted her. Kelly’s throat tightened. What she had gotten from Jason was more monumental than happy fruit faces. He’d given her a precious gift in their daughter, and she would never, ever regret that.

 

The morning was filled with getting breakfast made, bathing, and dressing. All through the routine chores and her fun interaction with her daughter, who was happy with unicorn leggings and a rainbow top, she thought hard about the next steps they would need to take to bring their relationship out into the open and commit to standing together as one, not only against the mistakes of their past, but the Coast Guard as well. She really didn’t think they could do anything else—she surely didn’t want to lose him because she couldn’t be open-minded and flexible about not only her own problems and feelings, but his, too.

 

Right around six, Jason came through the door, relieving the agents sitting in their car outside her home, a brown bag in his hands. Kiko must have heard because she came running from the living room where Kelly had allowed her to watch some TV.

 

“Hey,” he said with a soft laugh as she wrapped her arms around his leg. “Someone’s feeling better.”

 

She looked up at him and smiled. Kelly could visibly see his heart melt. She had that effect on many people, but she would have to school Jason in not giving into Kiko’s demands and spoil her. She could cut the poor man some slack right now, though. He was just getting acquainted with his daughter and she was to blame for that.

 

“Did you bring me some ice cream?”

 

“Kiko!” Kelly said. “That’s rude.”

 

“He promised.”

 

He flashed Kelly a sheepish grin. “I did promise, and I always deliver on my promises.”

 

Kelly smiled as she took the brown bag from him and headed for the fridge. “You can have some ice cream after dinner. Now go play while I make it.”

 

“Okay,” Kiko said. “Can Jason come with me?”