I want a family. I want children.
Just then, a wild shriek startled him. Raze raced after a young boy, probably no more than three. The little boy squealed excitedly as Raze snatched him up off the ground and swung him high and onto his shoulders.
“Zeke,” Orion said, coming to stand next to Swift. “Raze and Ella adopted him while you were away on your mission.”
“That clears things up for me,” Swift remarked. “I was trying to figure out how they had a child that old.”
“They’ve got a daughter, too. Dyanna. She’s five or six.” Orion shrugged helplessly. “There are so many kids on the ship now I can’t keep track of all the ages. I’m lucky to keep the names straight of the ones I see the most often.” He eyed Swift with some amusement. “I suppose you’ll be adding to that list of babies soon enough.”
“Probably,” Swift concurred, thinking he and Alys were definitely getting in enough practice.
“How do you like her?”
“Alys?”
Orion huffed. “Yes.”
“She’s wonderful. Sweet. Selfless. Nurturing. Beautiful.”
“I caught a glimpse of her earlier. She’s lovely.”
“She is.”
“I heard from Risk that she has one of the best medical profiles they’ve seen from any bride,” Orion continued. “Not a single vitamin deficiency. A farm girl?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think she’ll adjust well to life on a ship?”
“I honestly don’t know, sir.”
“Well,” Orion clapped him on the back, “let’s hope for the best.”
“Sir.” He nodded at the admiral who moved on to the next group of airmen. Swift wandered over to the table with informative pamphlets and looked at them. Most were about the different services offered on the ship. Some were about the warning signs that new brides might show if they weren’t adjusting properly. A few were about sexual consent and domestic abuse. There were more about ending unions and options for the bride post-Discard.
He grabbed an itinerary and pamphlets he thought would be useful for Alys and then found a seat near the front of the room. Vicious and Orion had moved to the small stage and were joined by a couple of other high-ranked mated men, both of them also holding children.
“It looks like a daycare up there,” Tirade said as he dropped onto the empty chair next to Swift. “I didn’t realize Vortex had a kid.”
“Right before I left,” Swift replied. “I was in the mess when the chime went off and we all had to stop eating to clap.”
At the time, Swift found it annoying to be interrupted by the chime that announced the arrival of a new baby, but now he was beginning to understand what a truly life-changing moment it was for the parents. Why shouldn’t it be celebrated?
Next to him, Tirade sighed and slumped down in his chair. He scrubbed his face in his hands and then confessed, “I fucked up, Swift.”
“How?” He warily eyed his friend. “Please tell me you didn’t hurt her.”
“What? No!” Tirade seemed irritated; he would even insinuate that. “I haven’t even touched her.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Exactly.” Tirade leaned back in his chair. “I haven’t made a landing this bad since simulator sessions at the Academy. I slid sideways off the runway, plowed through a forest and dropped into a lava-filled crater.”
Swift winced. “That bad, huh?”
“Worse, actually,” Tirade grumbled. “She hates me, Swift.”
“What did you do?” Remembering their conversation during the flight, he blew out a noisy breath. “You did exactly what I told you not to do.”
“Look, it worked for my father.”
“And how happy is your mother today?”
Tirade glared at him. “That’s not what made my mother leave.”
“You sure about that?”
Tirade crossed his arms. After a moment, he admitted, “You’re probably right.”
Swift didn’t want to rub it in and let it go. Vicious handed his daughter off to his adjutant who seemed surprisingly comfortable holding a baby. When the adjutant produced a toy from his pocket, Swift realized he had a lot to learn about being a parent. The little girl snatched it from the assistant’s hand and immediately stuffed it into her mouth.
Yes. Definitely a whole lot to learn.
Vicious opened the meeting, and Swift focused solely on the general and then the admiral. He ignored the sad sack next to him. Tirade deserved whatever Zadie threw his way. Considering how strong these farm girls were, he figured she could throw a lot of it and very hard.
The meeting continued with speeches by one of the newer physicians from the Mercy and then the most excruciatingly uncomfortable discussion of sex practices he had ever heard. If it was this awkward in this room, he couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable Alys and the newly caught brides were feeling right now. She would probably still be furiously red when he picked her up from her meeting. His lips twitched as he considered a few teasing remarks that would make her blush even more.
“So, what do I do?” Tirade asked as their meeting ended.
“About?” Swift decided to let him sweat a little.
“About Zadie!”
“How am I supposed to know? I wasn’t there. And,” he emphasized, “I told you—.”
“Spare me, please.” Tirade wiped a hand down his face. “Look, I made a mistake. I screwed up, and I offended her and probably embarrassed her.”
“Tell her that,” Swift suggested. “Tell her you’re sorry—and mean it. Don’t pressure her. Give her space. Let her be the one to come to you when she’s ready.”
“And if she never does?” Tirade actually looked worried, and Swift felt sympathy for him.
“Then she doesn’t, Tirade. You’ll have to Discard and try again in a few years.”
Tirade heaved a pained sigh. “But I really like her.”
“Why are you telling me all this? Tell her.” He gestured toward the doorway where their fellow newly mated men were streaming.
Tirade frowned. “That’s the best you’ve got?”
Swift shrugged. “That’s all I got.”
Tirade fell into step beside him as they left the room and walked down the hall to find their mates. Their meeting had also ended, but there was a buzz of happy voices that drifted out into the hallway. When they entered the room, he spotted Alys with Zadie, Hallie and a few other women he vaguely recognized. As they erupted in laughter, he noticed Ella standing with them and his stomach dropped.
Even though he had apologized to Ella four different times, he hadn’t been able to shake the guilt and embarrassment of how he had treated her. Getting knocked on his ass by Raze had been the wake-up call he needed to get his arrogance and bullshit in check. Even so, he cringed when he looked back at his behavior.
Ella seemed to have forgiven him. She met his anxious gaze with a warm smile, and he relaxed. He noticed a glossy head of silvery blonde hair at her hip. There was a child clinging to Ella’s waist. Dyanna. She seemed shy around adults. Not that he blamed her. It must have been overwhelming to be surrounded by giant men.