“How can you be sure?”
“There would’ve been some activity on the road.” He shifts position, slouching down while I make more room for him to lie as flat as possible while in a tree.
I watch over Hayes while he shuts his eyes and tries to grab what rest he can.
He sleeps fitfully beside me, restless, but asleep. I asked him to split the night’s watch with me. He said he would, but he let me sleep most of the night.
Which is why I don’t rouse him until several hours after sunrise.
Not only that, but I kind of want a private goodbye to this part of myself.
I grew up in the forest. From the age of three, I wandered the dirt paths with my mother. At five, I climbed my first tree. I don’t remember how old I was, exactly, when I began foraging on my own, but I remember sneaking after my father and the other men of the village as they went on their hunts after I turned seven.
I leave behind the richness of the forest, the loamy soil, fragrant blooms, and the perpetual twilight on the jungle floor. They deserve a moment of reflection, and I give them thanks for enriching my life.
As for Matias and the time I spent at the villa, I can’t be upset with the direction my life took. Matias is an evil man. He’ll parade through my nightmares for years to come, but if not for him, I never would’ve met Carmen.
Lucinda would’ve never taken me under her wing. More than my own parents, she’s responsible for the woman I am today. She taught me how to conquer fear, how to endure hardship, but most of all, she taught me about hope.
No matter how dark the day may become, she used to say, there is always light in the darkness.
In my darkest hours, her words gave me peace. A tear rolls down my cheek in memory of the woman who saved me, showed me I could be brave, and gave me the strength to overcome any obstacle.
As I stare out at the world, with the jungle to my back, the field and road before me, I give thanks for what I learned and where my next steps lead. I give thanks for the man beside me. Hayes who is strong, courageous, and kind.
He risks his life to save those like me, and that’s the greatest quality a man can have. With hands clasped before me in prayer, I thank the Almighty for putting Hayes on my path, and hope a long future stretches out ahead of us. I’m excited to see where life takes me.
Happy.
I’m full of gratitude for the blessings I’ve received.
More than anything, I can’t wait to see Carmen again. My sister from another mother, I may have been her maid, but she became my friend and then we became something more.
A rooster crows in the distance, bringing me back from such deep thoughts. I can no longer delay the inevitable.
I gently shake Hayes’s shoulder. “Hayes, wake up.” I speak softly so as not to startle him.
“Mmm, what time is it?” He stirs and slowly opens his eyes.
“Mid-morning.” The way the sun slants across his face emphasizes the strength of his jaw. Makes him—beautiful. I shouldn’t use that word for a man, but Hayes is beautiful. His soul shines bright and he’s an incredible human being. “Time we got going.”
“First things first.” He nods, stifling a yawn, then sits and rubs his eyes.
“What?”
Hayes grips the back of my neck and his fingers twine in my hair. He pulls me in for a kiss, and before I know what’s happening, his mouth closes over mine. My body responds instantly to his touch, my skin electrified by the softness of his lips against mine. My heart races and a surge of desire floods through me, making me tremble with anticipation.
This kiss is different from the chaste ones from before. He takes the kiss deeper, more determined and possessive. As his tongue slips against mine, I shiver beneath his touch, close my eyes, and sink into the sensation of him holding me in his arms.
His tongue demands entrance and I open willingly, loving his passion and dominance. Our tongues tangle and heat pools between my legs. I want far more than a kiss. For the first time in my life, I want a man to touch me and to—to fuck me.
The crassness of that word makes my mind stumble, but it’s true. I want to experience what I’ve read in the romance novels Carmen and I devoured as teens. I want the romance and passion. The heat and urgency. I want the passionate coupling that follows.
That word sounds better than the other one. It sounds better than have sex which feels detached and clinical to me. I could say sleep?
I want to sleep with Hayes.
No, that’s not right.
I want to have sex with Hayes.
His touch generates tiny sparks of electricity that rush through me, growing more intense as the kiss deepens. His hands explore my body but stop short when they come to my breasts. I can get lost in the ecstasy of his touch, but I need more than what he gives.
He pulls away from me. Our eyes lock and I’m not the only one breathing hard. We both struggle to catch our breath. Hunger burns in his eyes, but there’s also restraint; as if he’s hesitant to take this further.
I grip his shirt, nails digging into the fabric. It’s me who leans forward. Maybe I can show him what I want and encourage him to release his restraint? I take his lips in a hot, wild, and completely unrestrained kiss. I moan against his mouth and rub my body against his. My blood heats and my desire boils over.
He places his hand on my waist, pulling me closer, and takes over just like I want. Turning the kiss more possessive than before, his hands run up and down my sides. I squirm and writhe, trying to encourage more. The intensity of the sensations coursing through my body surprises and excites me.
Our mouths touch and our bodies follow, pressing against each other in a heated and desperate embrace. Another moan slips past my lips as I try to elicit more from Hayes.
I run my hands down the hard muscles of his chest. My fingers slide over the hard ridges and dips of his stomach. He groans as I stroke his skin.
He kisses me harder, hungrily attacking me. I moan again, with too many sensations swirling through my body. It’s too much to bear, but I don’t care. Slowly, he moves his lips from my mouth and trails kisses down my neck. His tongue gently flicks against my skin, making me shudder and moan.
His touch does things to me. Makes me feel things I’ve never felt, or wanted, before. My body’s on fire from his kisses, and when he flutters open-mouthed kisses along my collarbone and winds up at the hollow of my throat, I know I want more.
I want this.
Finally, he breaks away, his breathing as ragged and raw as mine. Staring into my eyes with raw hunger, I drag my lower lip between my teeth.
I’m falling in love with him, but I’m not brave enough to accept what that means. Something holds me back. I moan and rock against him. My fingers walk down the hard planes of his chest and body. I try to dip below his waist, but he grabs my wrist and pulls my hand away.
“Someday…” he murmurs softly against my skin.
And just like that, he douses me in cold water.
“Someday?” Turned on by a man for the very first time in my life, I’m eager to follow this to its logical conclusion, but he’s putting a stop to it?
Confusion furrows my brow and that warm, blissful sensation from moments before dissipates leaving confusion and pain behind.
“When you’re ready.”
“I’m ready now.” That heat within me turns to anger.
“How about when we’re not stuck in a tree in the middle of a rescue?” A smile fills his face and his eyes twinkle. He’s teasing, but all I hear is something else.