Rejection.
“You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves.” I pull my hand out of his grip and put distance between us. “I’m not some delicate flower or damaged goods. You don’t have to…”
“I’m not treating you with kid gloves, but I’m not going to take advantage of you. Or have you regret what we do.”
“Regret, what?”
“Having sex.” He cocks his head, looking confused. “Isn’t that what we’re talking about?”
“Ten years ago, a man took something precious from me. Matias hurt me and made me feel horrible about it for years. That I was damaged and no longer pure. He told me no man, but him, would ever want me.”
“Dammit, Rosalie, you’re incredible. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman and more. Don’t put Matias’s words in my mouth.”
He’s right. One day, Lucinda pulled me aside. She told me Matias may have taken my virginity, but I was the only one who could give him my fear.
“Rosie…” He leans back and cups the side of my face. “Trauma like that, at such a young age, leaves scars. I only meant to be respectful…”
“I appreciate that. I really do. This is what you do for a living, I understand.”
“Meaning?” His tone sharpens.
“You rescue broken girls. Women damaged by the trauma they’ve endured. I’ve had years to deal with mine and overcome it. Don’t treat me like there’s something wrong with me. That you have to be respectful. Don’t you see how that brings all of those memories screaming to the surface? All those feelings? You think you’re being respectful, but you’re just opening old wounds. I’m okay, so please don’t treat me like I’m not. If I didn’t want this, I’d say no.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant…” He rocks back, chagrined. From his expression, he hears not just my words, but the message they convey. “I never meant to reopen old wounds. I thought I was treading carefully, without realizing that was just as bad.” He holds his hands out. When I don’t respond, he deliberately makes a show of taking my hands in his. “How do I move forward?”
“Treat me like I’m any other woman you’ve been with.”
“Luv, you’re nothing like any woman I’ve ever met—let alone been with. Not to sound like an ass, but my history with other women… Let’s just say I’ve never been in a serious relationship before.”
“Is that what this is?”
“This?”
“Yes. Is this a serious relationship?”
“Fuck no.” While my heart just about breaks, he leans forward and wraps his arms around me. “This is far more than that.”
“What more is there?”
“A lifetime.”
My heart does this freefall kind of thing, tumbling into an abyss I desperately want, but fear as well.
“As for where that kiss may, or may not, have been going,” he says. “Neither one of us is getting what we want right now.”
“And why not?”
“Because we’re stuck in a tree? Isn’t that enough?”
“Not if it’s what I want.”
“When I take you, my dearest Rosalie, it won’t be in a tree, where things are awkward and uncomfortable. I plan on taking my time and enjoying every moment. There’s no reason to rush, and that’s not me using kid gloves. It’s about being practical and focusing on what matters the most right now.”
“And that is?”
“Getting you out of here. Someplace safe where I can strip you down and enjoy every inch of your body without worrying about someone trying to take you from me.”
“I guess I can live with that.” My heart is about ready to explode with joy.
He wants me.
“You guess?” The morning sun sparkles in his eyes.
“As soon as we’re through with this…” I gesture to the jungle and the field.
“Deal.” Hayes kisses me one last time, something much more tender than before, and something which speaks to our future.
Together, we climb down from the tree and cross the fallow field, feeling rested and invigorated after spending our last night in a tree. As we walk across the meadow, we’re surrounded by tall trees and lush grass. Birdsong fills the air, along with the chirping of crickets and the buzzing of insects. Their low drone fades into the background.
A rooster crows; a gentle reminder that the jungle is behind us.
TWENTY
Rosalie
A couple of hours later, the chatter of people, the clanging of pots, and the laughter of children reaches our ears. Excited, we quicken our pace, eager to see what’s beyond the bend in the road.
My heart pounds with excitement and hope. Maybe a little fear?
Hayes takes my hand in his, pulling me playfully to his side, but the protector in him pushes me behind him when the village comes within sight.
This village is much larger than the one before. Instead of mud huts and thatched roofs, the buildings are a mix of wooden structures with tin roofs. There’s a church at the far end of town, notable for the steeple that soars above the single-story structures. There’s a defined road leading in and out, with the tracks of mule-drawn carts lying alongside the tire tracks of vehicles.
We stop for a moment while Hayes checks things out. Only after he’s assured there’s no threat do we proceed.
The aromatic rainforest disappears as we step into the world of man. Instead of sweet flowers and musty loam, there’s the pungent musk of animals: chickens, goats, and pigs. Mingled in with the animals, however, are the wonderful flavors of baking bread and simmering stews.
It’s hotter here than in the jungle, although not as humid. Instead of the damp ground we’ve traveled, the dirt beneath our feet puffs with tiny clods of dirt. This village hasn’t seen rain for days.
When we reach the outskirts of the village, two village elders hurry toward us.
“Oh, no.” I stop Hayes in his tracks.
"What is it?” He pulls me behind him and stands protectively in front of me.
"The elders have come to stop us.” It’s what the elders in my village would do. "They’re threatened by outsiders. Especially white men.” Men like Hayes who’s a giant of a man compared to the villagers.
"Well shit." Hayes runs a hand through his hair, sweeping it out of his eyes. “Do I smile? Or is that threatening?”
“Smile, but don’t show your teeth.”
“No teeth? That doesn’t…”
“Cannibals show their teeth. Don’t do it.”
“Copy that.”
“If you could hunch a bit, look less frightening?” I glance at him and shake my head.
To these villagers, he’s beyond frightening. Instead, I grab his arm and lean against him. My hope is this will make the elders relax somewhat. If they see one of their own accepting Hayes, maybe they won’t kick us out.
One of the elders calls out. He speaks with fierce authority; his words harsh, biting, and accusatory. He stands before us, blocking our way, staring Hayes down with piercing eyes.