No.
Maybe?
He had no idea. But he did know that he wanted more. He craved more.
“I like her. A lot. And I’m not saying anything beyond this is going to happen. But Pepper’s had a raw deal. You don’t know what really went down with Gallagher. I do. Pepper is not the villain here.”
Reid shook his head. “Bast, you make friends easily. Women throw themselves at your skates. Let’s face it, you’re kind of a pushover.” Obviously, their childhood pattern was too ingrained for Reid to see his younger brother clearly here. “You’re easy with everyone, never a bad word, even when you should have stood up for yourself more.”
“Like with you?”
He nodded, a little sad. “I was cruel, and it damaged our relationship for the longest time. I have a shit-ton of regrets about that, but now I want to be here for you. To give you all the advice I should have dispensed long ago. This girl is using you, like that Marina woman you used to date before you got injured. I don’t know what Pepper’s told you, but whatever it is plays on your generosity and kindness. These aren’t bad traits to have, but when someone takes advantage, I can’t stand by.”
Anger was building in Bast’s veins, rushing to the surface. He hauled back the harsh words he wanted to say, the things that proved he wasn’t always generous or kind. “You heard her. We’re not together, just hanging.”
“Yeah.” Reid ran a hand through his hair, then petted Bucky. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. You’ve suffered enough. You have a gift, and I’ve no doubt it’s frustrating not to be able to use it for so long. You’re the kind of guy who gets bored. It can be easy to see gaps and want to fill them with things … or people. You’re in a vulnerable position right now.”
“Ready to be fleeced?” He hated the idea that he might be considered gullible. But he knew Pepper was a good person, and he shouldn’t have to justify that to anyone.
“What I see is a girl latching onto another famous athlete, causing havoc, and leaving him in some sort of emotional rubble. I just hope you used condoms. Though it’d be weird that you brought some here of all places.”
When Bast didn’t respond, Reid shook his head. “Are you nuts? You didn’t use protection? Whose idea was that?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“She is gaming you.”
Bast shook his head, annoyed as fuck. “You’ve got it all wrong. Gallagher’s no saint.”
“Sure, he’s a jerk and has pretty poor passing skills, but he was doing okay before he met Pepper. Was coming back from injury—just like you are—and then boom, she arrived.”
“Reid—”
“I just can’t let you get involved with this kind of mess. I was in Denver when it all went down. Gallagher was crushed when they split up. It’s not that he was a good friend or anything—kind of a dick, to be honest—but it really fucked with his head. He wasn’t the same man after she dumped him, and I can’t watch this happen to you.”
He knew Reid was being protective, that his guilt was framing some of what he was saying, that he wanted to be there for Bast the way Bast had been there for him those first days in Chicago.
“If I tell you that you have nothing to worry about, will you believe me?”
Reid inhaled deeply. “No. Because I saw how you looked at her, how you kissed her, how you’ve jumped in at every turn to protect her. You’re too far gone, and I can’t let this go on.”
“Fuck you, Reid.”
His brother raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”
“Seriously, I can’t fucking deal with your passive-aggressive bullshit right now. I get it, your life is perfect. Your career is flying high, and you’ve got the dog and the wife and the gold medal. Good for you.”
“Bast—”
He couldn’t stop, though he really should. “Well, there’s a chance I might not get back to where I once was. That this …” He held up his wrist. “Is never going to be as strong as it needs to be. I’ve got to live with that. Maybe you’ve got to live with that. So excuse me if I’m taking comfort where I find it.”
Reid looked grim. “I see.”
“Do you? Glad to hear it.”
With that final jab, Bast headed back inside.
29
While Bast and Reid talked out on the patio, Kennedy and Pepper worked on the dishes, though it was clear the feisty blonde wanted to speak more openly.
“The tension is killing me,” Pepper had said. “Are you going to say what you need to say?”
“Oh, good, you’re not completely insensitive to my speaking sighs.” She grinned and leaned against the countertop. “Don’t worry, I will be talking to Reid on the way back and letting him know this is none of his business.”
“Thanks. But that’s not really what’s on your mind, is it?”
“No? Okay, then. What I want to say is that I don’t know a thing about what went down with your ex, but I do know that you were treated abominably. He had an entire organization behind him, and I’m guessing you had zilch. No one is all one thing or all another. I don’t need you to tell me you’re a good person, I just need you to be good to Bast.”
Not expecting that. “Be good to him?”
“Yeah. So you and he joined forces to get away from the press, but whatever’s happened between you has changed him. I don’t know you well enough to decide if it’s changed you. But he—” She looked toward the patio with a soft look, then back again. “He’s one of the nicest guys I know, but I’ve always worried that he’s too nice. That he keeps up this good-guy front and pushes his emotions down deep. Too deep. But not when it comes to you.”
She chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him as into anything as I’ve seen with you. Sure, hockey. But that’s something that’s a natural extension of his personality. He doesn’t usually push back with Reid. Their dynamic is very much one where Bast is the easygoing one, but not today. Today he’s protective of you, and it’s nice to see. He needs a purpose, something other than hockey.”
Pepper shook her head. “That’s not me. I’m not … I’m not anyone’s reason to do anything.” And she most certainly didn’t want to be. That pressure to be right for someone was something she could never live up to again. “We’re here because we both needed an escape, and he rescued me.” She added more quietly, “When he shouldn’t have.”
“When he shouldn’t have,” Kennedy repeated. “That might be a reaction to a particular event, but he’s carrying it a bit far, don’t you think? The minute we came in, he made sure we knew that you were under his wing. Under his protection, with that kiss.”
That kiss. She could still feel it on her lips, the weight of his care. But that was reading far too much into it, surely. She could explain it to Kennedy like she was one of her pre-schoolers, and in doing so, she might convince herself.
“I think that was more of a way to tell Reid to back off. I don’t know their dynamic, but like all younger siblings, he probably doesn’t like being told who he can and can’t see or be with. Believe me, younger sibling here.”