“Hmmmm. Well, I might have an emergency wig in there.”
I had no idea what kind of situation Ronald got into that called for an emergency wig, but I knew what kind of situation I had. And committing a crime in a hospital at the sort-of bequest of the acting sheriff definitely fell under emergency status.
“What is the wig for?” he asked.
“I need to get into a room and can’t be seen.”
“Well, good Lord, it’s not a magical wig. It can’t make you invisible.”
“I’ll take care of that part. I just need two things from you—the wig and a distraction.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place for both. Give me a minute.”
He returned and shoved the purse at me. I held my breath as I opened it and looked at the emergency wig. I was afraid it was going to be something akin to what he’d lent Gertie, but when I saw the shoulder-length brown hair, I gave him a surprised look.
“What?” he asked. “Sometimes I need to blend, just like you. Do you know how hard it is to get service at some places when I go as myself? Took me three trips with different wardrobes to get those punks at the phone store to sell me the new iPhone. Debbie the Commoner, which is what I call the wig, can accomplish anything. Ronald the Awesome tends to scare salespeople. Except in NOLA. They don’t even blink in NOLA.”
I slipped the wig out of the purse, rolled it up, and stuffed it into my bra, causing Ronald to make the sign of the cross.
“I’m going to have to wash and restyle that when you’re done.”
“Are you even Catholic?”
“It depends on the situation.”
“Okay, I cased the ER before I left, and I need to access the room at the end of the hall. Halfway down that hall is the nurse’s station. I’m not getting by there unless they think I’m an employee. There’s an employee locker room before you get to the nurse’s station. I can lift some scrubs from there.”
“Do I even want to know why you know all this?”
“No.”
“Alrighty then. What do you need me to do?”
“The nurse already told me that she can’t allow visitors anymore, so she won’t unlock the door. That button is on the back side of the desk wall, right next to her computer. I need you to pretend to ask a question and spill your coffee, then when she’s grabbing paper towels, let me in.”
Ronald perked up. “That’s it? I can do that. I thought since Gertie wasn’t here, I was going to have to shoot someone or blow something up.”
I wondered briefly what those other zippered bags inside his purse contained but didn’t have time to dwell on it. I needed to get this handled before that girl was identified and out of here. And the night shift was the time to pull this kind of stunt because during the day there were far more eyes around.
I waited until the front desk nurse was turned slightly away from the lobby and slipped behind a fake rubber plant near the ER access doors. Ronald headed for the desk and plopped his coffee on the counter on the side farthest away from me.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” he said when the nurse looked up. “Fortune had to take a call, but she wanted to make sure you had her contact information in case anything happened with Mr. Blanchet. He’s a friend of Carter’s, and she feels responsible for him with Carter out of town and him filling in.”
“Of course,” the nurse said. “I’ll be happy to take her number down, but my guess is Mr. Blanchet will be leaving us tomorrow. The tests are routine in this type of situation, so as long as everything looks good, the doctors will let him go in the morning.”
“That’s excellent news,” Ronald said and threw his arms out, knocking his cup of coffee over the counter and onto her desk, where it splashed in all directions.
“Oh no!” She jumped out of her chair and ran for a cabinet on the rear wall.
Ronald leaned over the counter and pressed the button while half-yelling his apologies to cover the click of the door opening. “I’m so sorry! Oh my God! I’m such a klutz. Let me clean that up for you. Do you have a mop?”
I could still hear him offering condolences and janitorial services as I slipped inside the employee locker room. I located a set of scrubs that would fit over my jeans and T-shirt and yanked them on. Then I pulled the wig from my bra and stuffed my ponytail under it. I checked myself in the mirror and smoothed the hair out a bit, then hurried into the janitors’ closet and grabbed a box of tissues and used it to cover my chest, where my access card should be hanging, as I passed the nurse’s station in the middle of the ER.
One doctor and two nurses were at the station when I walked past, but they didn’t even look up. I figure as long as they got a glimpse of scrubs in their periphery, they didn’t take a closer look. I located the girl’s room and slipped inside. She was hooked up to a bunch of monitors, but I was relieved to see she was breathing on her own and her heart rate was a little weak but steady. Unless she had issues I couldn’t see, she was probably going to be all right. I took a quick picture of her whiteboard with her vitals on it, then hurried to the bed and took another of the girl, now that she’d been cleaned up a bit and I had better light.
I could tell by the rise and fall of her chest and the flickering behind her eyelids that she was dreaming. But her expression told me the dreams probably weren’t pleasant. Either that or she was in pain. I felt just a sliver of guilt as I reached up and plucked a couple strands of hair from her head. Then I wrapped them in tissue and shoved them deep into my jeans pocket and prepared to leave.
That’s when she woke up.
And grabbed my arm.
And screamed.
A nurse bolted into the room. “What happened?” he asked as he rushed to the girl, who’d collapsed back on the bed.
“A nightmare, I think. I’ll go get the doctor.”
I practically ran out of the room and did run down the hall. I could hear footsteps scrambling behind me, but they were going in the opposite direction, so I assumed the other nurse had issued the call. But when I didn’t return, they were going to come looking for me, and that was going to happen quickly.
I had a split second to consider my options. There was no way I could make it out of the building without them seeing me go. And that would invite all kinds of problems, especially for Ronald, who was still in the lobby and didn’t have the car keys. And even if I made it to the locker room, they’d definitely check there since they were looking for a nurse.
My plan devised—sort of—I bolted into Blanchet’s room and threw my cell phone at him. He gave me a startled look and I remembered the wig. I pulled it off and tossed it on the end of his bed. Then I yanked off the scrubs, jumped onto his bed, lifted a ceiling tile, and flung the garments as far back as I could. The hospital speakers sounded with what must have been the equivalent of a hospital code red for intruders, and loud voices sounded in the hallway. I jumped down and had barely gotten the wig stuffed back in my bra when the door flew open and the front desk nurse burst in.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, frowning. “I thought you left.”
“That’s my fault,” Blanchet said. “I’m staying at Carter’s house while I’m filling in for him, and we changed the alarm code. Fortune needs it so she can feed the dog since I’m in here.”