“Of course, I also ride.” He reached over and patted the big chestnut horse he was still guiding by the reins along the path.
She smiled and stepped back to stroke the horse’s nose. Now that her initial reaction to the animal had passed, she was drawn to the gentle beast. “I would like to ride, as well, if it could be on this beauty. What is his name?”
“Fox,” Callum said. “He is quick as one. Though he has a sad history. I bought him off a breeder who mistreated him.”
She flinched and looked up into the soulful eyes of the animal. “But you survived it, didn’t you, Fox?” she said softly, and smiled. “So you are twice as strong for it.”
Callum was so quiet that she turned her face to look at him. Once again his intense focus was entirely on her, just as it had been when he first saw her.
“What is it?” she asked, almost afraid of the answer.
He cleared his throat. “I fear there was something about Silas that I didn’t know. Should have known, perhaps, if it is true. It would be my failing. And it is none of my business, God knows. But…but I still feel compelled to ask you.”
She stepped away from the horse and stared at him, heart throbbing so wildly her chest hurt from it. “Compelled to ask me what?” she whispered, glancing back at Fanny.
He opened and shut his mouth. “Did he mistreat you, Valaria? Did he do something so horrible beneath my nose and I was too blind to see it?”
His voice cracked as he asked and she staggered beneath the weight of the question. There must have been something on her face, in the soft sound of pain she couldn’t keep from her lips, that told him the answer because his entire countenance collapsed for a brief moment. Grief and guilt, pain and anger all at once.
She gathered herself. It would do no good to deny what he could already see, it seemed. Which meant she would have to address this with another tactic entirely. What exactly that was, she needed time to determine.
“I don’t think the park is the place to discuss this.”
He blinked and looked around. “Of course. I apologize, Your Grace. My home is but a short walk away. Might we go there, share tea and perhaps talk about this there?” He lifted a hand to his chest. “If you do not wish to do so, I understand. And I would never…never force you to do so. But I am…I am undone by this realization.”
She could see that was true. This man who had loved her husband, a love Silas had never deserved, did seem truly crushed by the implication of these facts of him. She could only imagine what he might think if he knew the rest. But he couldn’t. Not ever.
“I…I understand,” she said softly. “My carriage is on the other side of the park. Perhaps I could return to it and then meet you at your home?”
“Yes,” he said. “It is but a short distance on the circle path back. I’ll take you there and then ride back on Fox. You can follow.”
She agreed and they made their way back to her carriage with lighter conversation. Still, she couldn’t help but think about what she might say to him as he helped first her into her carriage and then Fanny. He said goodbye, his gaze focused too intently on her as they rode off toward his house.
“It is not my place, I know, but I’m shocked you would not simply deny to that man that your late husband was the bastard he was,” Fanny said, her tone sharp and worried.
Valaria looked at her maid. It was a good reminder that she wasn’t the only one in danger in these moments. She had others to protect, as well. “He saw the truth. If I had denied it, it would only have made him more suspicious. I can tell him half-truths now, control the narrative. And find…find some way to distract him so he doesn’t dig further.”
“He’s already distracted when it comes to you,” Fanny said.
Valaria sucked in a breath at the implication. “That’s an impertinent thought, Fanny.”
Her maid arched a brow. “Is it? He wants you. Anyone could see it written all over his face the way he watches you. You must know it, too.”
Valaria flinched. “I…I do know it,” she whispered, thinking of the warm weight of his lips on hers. Thinking of the electric jolt that hit her when he touched her or looked at her through that hooded glance.
“Then you know how dangerous that could be,” Fanny insisted, a little desperation entering her voice.
Shutting her eyes, Valaria pondered that. Yes, being close to Callum was dangerous. She wasn’t so foolish as to pretend it didn’t open doors that perhaps were better shut. But when he was close to her, touching her, he didn’t ask her about anything else, did he? He didn’t press her about other topics best left unbroached.
Wasn’t there power in that?
“But what if his desire could…could play into our favor?”
She hated herself for saying it. For thinking it. It sullied the kiss they’d shared. It made her a person that would use another’s emotions or desires against them. Like Silas always had.
“I can’t believe you would think that,” Fanny breathed. “Risk that. After everything else.”
Everything else. Yes, surely Valaria couldn’t forget everything else. She shuddered.
“Well, hopefully it won’t come to that,” Valaria said as they stopped on his drive.
Now she would have to go inside and find some way to tell a man who looked at her like she was precious that a man he’d loved had thought her worthless. And she had no idea what that conversation would lead to. For better or for worse.
CHAPTER 9
Callum felt like he was going to vomit as he handed off his horse, explained the plan to his butler and then waited at the top of his stairs for Valaria’s carriage to pull through his gate. She had not come out and said Silas had harmed her, but Callum could see the truth of it in the way her face had twisted with pain and horror when he asked the question. And he believed her, even before she told him one word of the explanation that he didn’t deserve.
Why hadn’t he seen it? Why had he been so blind? Was it willful on his part? After all, it had never affected him, Silas’s cruelty. Didn’t that make him complicit?
Callum smoothed his hands along the front of his waistcoat and struggled to contain his roiling emotions as he watched Valaria be helped from her carriage, then her maid, who was now stone-faced. He had to force himself to stay where he was, perched on the top step leading to his home. He wanted very much to go down to take Valaria’s hand, himself, but considering what they were about to discuss, he doubted she wanted his touch.
And this wasn’t about him and his thoughts on the matter at any rate. He couldn’t make this about him and how he felt.
She moved toward him, her expression taut and nervous. “It is an even prettier prospect during the day,” she said, a little breathlessly.
He inclined his head toward the house and allowed her to start off on such a benign topic if it pleased her. It lessened the tension at any rate. “I’ve always thought so. Please, come in.” He pivoted toward Morris as she did so. “Please show Her Grace’s maid to the servant area for her tea. Is ours awaiting us in the east parlor?”
“Yes, Your Grace. It should be ready now,” the butler said.