I sucked in a breath, waiting for him to stomp toward me. Make a scene. Growl. Shout. Maybe pick me up and carry me somewhere private.
He started to take a step toward me, and a group of girls walked by. It only took a moment. Less than a full second. But it was enough to give him pause.
He spoke into the phone and dropped his hand before turning to Lyla and saying something. I was too far away to hear, but Lyla frowned, her mouth moving rapidly as she followed her brother in the opposite direction.
When he walked away, a part of me broke all over again.
No longer trapped by his dark gaze, I sucked in a breath and pressed a hand to my chest. My heart was still beating. I focused on that and attempted to push Judge from my mind.
But that wasn’t possible.
In the weeks since I’d found out the truth, everything had changed. But there was no way I could forget a single detail about the man who had altered my entire life.
Adjusting my backpack strap, I kept walking toward the café. I spotted my roommate as soon as I entered. It would have been difficult not to. Something about Kyndle just pulled a person’s gaze straight to him.
His hand was already in the air, waving me over. “El,” he called. “I already ordered for you, babe.”
Ducking my head, I weaved through the tables toward him. Jumping to his feet, he held out a chair for me and waited until I was seated before retaking his. Always the gentleman. At least with his roommates. Everyone else, it was a coin toss of which side of Kyndle they got.
The sweet, I-will-protect-you-with-my-life version or the loud, in your face, ready to fight or run his mouth side. I guess it just depended whether he woke up deciding to choose violence that day or not. He never made me feel anything but safe with him, though, and I kind of adored him.
A to-go cup was already on the table with my name written in Sharpie. A tea bag sat beside it. Herbal. Decaf. From somewhere, I found the will to smile as I took the top off the cup of steaming water and tore open the wrapping on the tea bag.
“Thanks, you’re the best.”
“I know.” He smirked as he leaned forward on his folded forearms. He already had a smear of mud on his cheek, I noticed. If he wasn’t in class, he was playing football with his friends. The university didn’t have a team, but a group of guys was always hanging around with a ball on one of the quads throughout the day.
Laughing, I dropped the tea bag in and selected a sweetener. “How was your test?”
“Thankfully, it went well. You saved me, El.” He tipped his head down, meeting my gaze. “How about I cook dinner tonight?”
Snorting, I snapped the lid back on. “I would rather not die from food poisoning, thanks.”
His laughter boomed through the café, and I hid behind the curtain of my hair, not wanting the attention. Automatically, my hand went to my throat, but I stopped myself before I could make contact with my bare neck. But that didn’t stop the memory of how Judge had looked as he’d walked away from me outside.
“Hey.” Kyndle’s voice had turned serious, his hand touching my arm, his thumb rubbing soothing circles at my wrist. “Don’t go there. Don’t let him invade again.”
I forced a weak smile. “It gets a little better every day,” I lied.
“No, Elli. You only get better at hiding it. Hudson and the girls might think it’s getting easier for you, but I see the truth.” He lifted my hand and wrapped it around my cup. “Sip. Once your stomach is warm, I’ll grab us a sandwich.”
Quietly, I took a tiny sip. Warmth flooded my belly, easing a little of the sourness that I had learned to live with. At least that was getting easier. A few changes here and there, and I was able to make it through the day without vomiting.
“You have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow?” Kyndle asked, and I shrugged. “I’ll drive you.”
I hesitated. “You don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine.”
“Ellianna.” His voice took on that firm quality, the one he used when he meant business. “One of us will drive you. You decide which one.”
If I had to pick one out of my five roommates, it would be Kyndle every time. I had become friends with them all. They were all a bit over-the-top protective and reminded me so much of Lyla it hurt. But Kyndle and I had clicked from the moment we met.
“Okay, I would appreciate the ride.” I gave in. “Thank you.”
“Stop thanking me. You’re my little El.”
I took a few more sips of my tea, and then he went to order us food. From his place in line, he shot me a wink. Smiling back, I pulled out my cell and noticed a text on the screen. Realizing I hadn’t turned the ringer back on after class, I fixed it and then pulled up my messages.
Judge: Call me. Now.
It was time-stamped from only a few minutes before. Erasing the text, I debated silencing my phone again, but I quickly vetoed the idea. Rita might call, and I didn’t want to worry her.
Chapter 40
Judge
Lack of sleep and too many hard workouts were really catching up to me because now I was seeing Ellianna right in front of me. A few days before, I was sure I’d heard her voice, but when I’d raced around the corner, all I’d found was Rita getting on the elevator.
I missed my Elli so fucking badly that now I was hallucinating.
I didn’t have time for a mental breakdown, though. My sister had a psychotic drug addict threatening to gun her down. Someone had seen Howler’s ex come out of a drug den with what appeared to be a gun.
Gwen never could accept being told no. After the ass-kicking Lyla had given her when she’d found out Gwen had hurt Josie, “no” was the only word she was getting. No, she couldn’t pick up Josie from preschool. No, she would not be getting any more visitation days.
Despite having primary custody, Howler had still paid Gwen for the days she had Josie. Just to make sure that my goddaughter had the things she needed. Now that cash wouldn’t be available, and Gwen wouldn’t have funding for her bad habits.
After I dropped Lyla at Howler’s, I told Tony to take me back to campus. I needed to be sure that I hadn’t imagined Ellianna. She’d looked so fucking beautiful. So real.
She could have been anywhere—if she was there—so I started with the last place I’d seen her. My lock screen was a picture of Ellianna, and I had it ready to ask the first person I saw when I stepped into the café.
But as soon as I entered, my eyes were drawn straight to a back table. Blond hair flowed over her shoulders as she took a small bite of sandwich. Placing it on her plate, she wiped her mouth, a tiny giggle reaching my ears over the chatter over the other patrons.
“That’s Judge,” someone said loud enough for me to hear as the door closed behind me.
“OMG. That’s really him!” A feminine voice came next.
Ignoring them, I made my way through the café, still convinced I was seeing things. She was supposed to be at Stanford. All the funds were already in her account to make sure her necessities were covered. Mabel told me Ellianna was at school. She assured me everything was fine. Every day. Without fail, she let me know her daughter was safe.
As I walked toward her, her image didn’t flicker or fade away like it did on the rare occasions I was able to sleep. The vision before me became clearer. My breathing grew labored the closer I drew. When I was a few yards away, her head snapped around, and those light-blue eyes connected with mine.