Her eyes narrowed. “You need to stop calling me that.”
“But I like it.”
She brushed past me and lifted the hem of her skirt. “But I don’t.”
“That’s a lie.”
Her lips twitched as she shook her head. I followed her through the throng of masked attendees, none seeming aware of who walked among them. The air was cooler outside the Great Hall. Poppy glanced at one of the open doors that led to the garden.
“Where are you going?” I asked as she continued, hastily looking away from the garden.
Poppy faced me, her nose scrunched against the mask in confusion. “Back to my rooms, as I…”
I started to speak, but my gaze snagged on the fall of her hair and then on the delicate lace of her bodice. “I was wrong earlier when I said you looked lovely.”
“What?” she whispered.
“You look absolutely exquisite, Poppy. Beautiful.” And she really did. “I just…I needed to tell you that.”
Her eyes widened behind the mask as she stared at me—at my face, luckily. If she looked lower, I feared she would see just how true the words were. My gaze returned to the lace of her bodice.
I really needed to get better control of myself.
And I needed to get on with this.
I hadn’t expected to get her alone this quickly or easily. I had some time before Kieran arrived. I could take her to her chambers and coax her back out later, but…
The garden was her place, and I wanted her to see it one last time. I wanted that smile from her.
And if I were being honest with myself, getting her out in the garden now wasn’t just about my plans. It also had to do with the fact that something happened when I spent time with her. Something damn near magical.
I was…I was just me.
Cas.
And fuck if that didn’t feel dangerous. Maybe even idiotic. Because I was self-aware enough to recognize that in my short time of knowing her, a connection had formed between us—a bond that wasn’t at all one-sided. If I had any common sense or were more like I had been before the Blood Crown held me captive, I would nip this shit in the bud. But I wasn’t him anymore. Hadn’t been in decades. I was now far more impulsive and reckless. Selfish. When I wanted, I wanted.
And it wasn’t like there would be many more opportunities for this after tonight.
“I have an idea,” I said, forcing my gaze to hers.
“You do?”
I nodded. “It doesn’t involve returning to your room.”
She drew her lip between her teeth. “I’m confident that unless I remain at the Rite, I would be expected to return to my room.”
“You’re masked, as am I. You’re not dressed like the Maiden,” I pointed out. “To use your own ideology from last night, no one will know who either of us is.”
“Yes, but…”
“Unless you wish to go back to the room.” I started to grin. “Maybe you’re so engrossed in that book—”
Her cheeks turned pink. “I am not engrossed in that book.”
I found that somewhat disappointing. “I know you don’t want to be cooped up in your chambers. There’s no reason to lie to me.”
“I…” Her gaze darted around us. “And where do you suggest that I go?”
“Where we go?” I tilted my chin toward the garden entrance.
Her chest rose with a deep breath. “I don’t know. It…”
“It used to be a place of refuge. Now, it’s become a place of nightmares,” I said, stomach churning with the knowledge I was the reason she no longer had that. “But it can only stay that way if you let it.”
“If I let it? How do I change the fact that Rylan died out there?”
“You don’t.”
The corners of her mouth tensed. “I’m not following where you’re going with this.”
I moved in closer to her, meeting her stare. “You can’t change what happened in there. Just like you can’t change the fact that the courtyard used to give you peace. You just replace your last memory—a bad one—with a new one—a good one,” I told her, having learned that myself. “And you keep doing that until the initial one no longer outweighs the replacement.”
Poppy’s lips parted as her attention shifted to the garden door. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not. It’s hard and uncomfortable, but it works.” I offered her my hand. “And you won’t be alone. I’ll be there with you, and not just watching over you.”
Her gaze flew to mine. She seemed to lock up as if my words startled her. At first, I wasn’t sure what I’d said to cause such a reaction, but then I thought about what I knew of her. Other than perhaps Tawny, those who spent time with her did so because it was their duty. Even Vikter, to some extent. Even me.
Fuck. That sat like a boulder on my chest.
Poppy brought her hand to mine but then stopped short. “If someone saw me,” she said. “Saw you—”
“Saw us? Holding hands? Dear gods, the scandal.” I grinned, looking around. “No one is here. Unless you see people I can’t.”
“Yes, I see the spirits of those who’ve made bad life choices,” she replied dryly.
I laughed. “I doubt anyone will recognize us in the courtyard. Not with both of us masked, and just the moonlight and a few lamps to light the way.” I wiggled my fingers. “Besides, I have a feeling anyone out there will be too busy to care.”
Poppy placed her hand in mine. “You’re such a bad influence.”
She had no idea.
I folded my hand around hers. The back of my neck tightened. “Only the bad can be influenced, Princess.”
THE WILLOW
“That sounds like faulty logic to me,” Poppy commented.
I laughed, leading her toward the cooler air of the outdoors. “My logic is never faulty.”
That got me a slight smile. “I feel like that’s not something one would be aware of if it was.”
But in the lantern light, the small grin faded too quickly as she glanced around the garden and the breeze rattled the bushes crowding the walkway. Her steps slowed. Even without my senses, I knew she practically hummed with anxiety.
Seeking to distract her, I spoke the first thing that came to mind. “One of the last places I saw my brother was a favorite place of mine.”
Her attention darted from the darkened pathways that neither the lanterns nor the moonlight penetrated. Wide eyes met mine.
I tightened my hand around hers, but her fingers remained straight. I held her hand. She wasn’t holding mine. “Back home, there are hidden caverns that very few people know about. You have to walk pretty far in this one particular tunnel. It’s tight and dark. Not a lot of people are willing to follow it to find what awaits at the end.”
“But you and your brother did?” she asked.
“My brother, a friend of ours, and I did when we were young and had more bravery than common sense.” My brows knitted. “But I’m glad we did because at the end of the tunnels, was this huge cavern filled with the bluest, bubbling, warm water I’d ever seen.”