“We’re starting over,” I say, cup of coffee nestled between my hands. “Again. And we need to get it right this time.”
Beck sits opposite me. His hair is still wet from his shower and he’s dressed in jeans and a tee like when we first met. “I’m listening.”
“I’m moving into the bedroom on the fourth floor for a while and I’d prefer it if you didn’t sleep outside the door again.”
A barely perceptible flinch from him. I’m hurting him and that sucks to unreached depths, but this is where his lies have brought us. However, he doesn’t try to talk me down or anything and I’m so damn grateful for that. There’s hope for us yet. There has to be.
“I think we should go back to the start and try dating again.” I take a sip of coffee. My hand is shaking, dammit. Now is not the time for weakness. “Things were so rushed between us. We haven’t even known each other a full month.”
A nod.
“That’s it. That’s all I’ve come up with so far.”
Mrs. Francis made a pot of coffee and set out a plate of pastries before disappearing. I can’t even stomach the idea of food. The sun shines in dully through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Today the whole world seems cold and gray. His cell sits on the table buzzing, but he ignores the thing.
“Okay,” he says, the words coming slowly. “I’ll stay off the fourth floor, but I’d like to have breakfast and dinner with you each day. Let’s consider them dates.”
“That’s a lot of dates.”
He shrugs. “How else are we going to get past this if we don’t spend time together?”
“All right. Agreed.”
“Thank you.”
“And you’re going to regularly start seeing a therapist?”
Another nod. “I’d like us to do couples therapy eventually.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” I keep my body contained to my side of the table. Because as comforting as it would be to hold his hand, we need to establish some boundaries. Especially after the accidental oral. “I also think any use of the word ‘love’ should be delayed for now. I’m confused enough.”
“You want total honesty from me?” he asks, gaze set on my face.
“Yes, but…”
“But what?”
I swallow. “It’s just a lot right now.”
“It is, however, the truth,” he says. “And that’s what’s important, right? I love you. That’s a fact. I don’t think maybe I’m in love with you or there’s a chance of strong emotions in me regarding you at some future date. I love you and that isn’t going anywhere.”
“Beck, we—”
“I belong to you whether you want me or not.” His shoulders are set, his gaze sure. There’s no hedging or doubt in his voice. “That’s the truth, Alice.”
I shake my head; it’s too much too soon. Or maybe I’m just scared. A bit of both, perhaps. “I need to feel like I can trust you with me again. And right now, I’m sorry, but I don’t. Let’s just…let’s talk about it later. What are you going to do about Catherine?”
“I’ll deal with her. You don’t need to worry about that.”
“Since she dragged me into this, I’d like to know.”
He takes a deep breath. “Full transparency.”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” he says, gaze narrowing on me. “I made some calls last night. The first one was to my grandmother to strongly suggest she stay the fuck out of my life. She was surprised, to say the least. Guess she’d thought she’d run you off and I’d never hear about her threats and other assorted bullshit.”
“Huh.”
“Makes me wonder what else she’s gotten up to in the past that never made it back to me.” His fingers drum against the table. “Then I called Ethan to let him know Grandma might be attempting a hostile takeover.”
“She’d try to take over the company?”
“As I might have mentioned before, Catherine isn’t used to not getting her way. Her reaction to me calling her out was…intense. So there’s no telling exactly how far she might try and take this,” he says. “Some people will never be okay with hearing no.”
I raised my brows and downed some more coffee. This mess just kept getting bigger and bigger. On the table, his cell buzzed. “Beck, should you check that?”
“This is more important.”
“You should be in at Elliot Corp. sorting this out right now, shouldn’t you?”
“No, Alice. Talking to you, working us out, is more important.”
“But she could kick you off the board.”
He shrugs. “She can certainly try.”
I slump back in my seat and just take a minute. No matter how much I’d like life to slow down, it’s not going to happen anytime soon. This is the reality of our situation. Me bitching about it or dreaming it was otherwise won’t help a thing. Mom always said you had to recognize the things you could and couldn’t change. What lies within your purview? Beck is a busy rich man dealing with big important things. Not that my life, wants, and needs don’t matter. But you support your partner. My own parents showed me this time and again. How you present a united front to the world and have each other’s backs. No way will I accept less in my life. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m giving us a chance to sort this out.”
And on his face there’s the hint of a flinch again.
It hurts my bruised heart to see it. “Hey, I’m serious. I’ve been fighting people for the right to be here with you since I landed in Denver. I’m not giving up now, no matter how mad I am at you. Now check your phone.”
With a sigh, he picks up his cell. “Ethan’s called four times.”
“Go take care of business. I’ll see you for dinner tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
My smile is small, but it’s there. “Yes.”
“Ask me why I’m not in Paris.”
“Emma?” I sit at the small antique desk in my new bedroom on the fourth floor. Mrs. Francis and Smith helped me move some clothes and other assorted necessary items. We found the chair and desk on the second floor. After yesterday’s drama, I’m not ready to face the beautiful library again just yet. Using the desk and chair is much more adult than working sprawled across the bed (despite being super comfortable). Especially since it seems to agitate Mrs. Francis if she can’t make the bed up with half a dozen decorative cushions and keep the room in some semblance of order for me. “What are you doing here?”
The petite blonde stands there in a red sweater dress and black knee-high boots. Hair and makeup immaculate. Behind her lurks Matías, leaning against the doorjamb like he’s posing for the cover of GQ.
“Good God, Alice, you look terrible. Grandma called me. Then Beck called me. Then I called Ethan followed by Mom. Lots of opinions, emotions, and hot takes, let me tell you. Phew. Now it’s time for you and I to talk.” She points an accusing finger at her dapper husband. “You wait out there. You withheld information. That was a poor choice on your part, Matías.”