Jade is still crying. Cillian sits up and pulls her over so her head is resting on his leg. He strokes her hair gently. “Sometimes I wish the world hadn’t changed. If magic hadn’t gone away, my mother wouldn’t have left to chase it. But then I never would have known the truth about you guys. And finally gotten close to my boyfriend. Rhys is it for me. I know he is. But sometimes he gets so rigid, and it’s like he disappears behind his glasses and books, and I don’t know how to reach him.”
“It’s how he was raised,” I say, my tears real now too. “None of us were taught how to have healthy relationships.” I sniffle unattractively. “My ex-could-have-been-boyfriend stayed with a predatory creep instead of coming back to us for help. And now that he’s not dead anymore, he’s maybe dying.”
Jade’s still crying, but she also snorts a laugh. “Cheers. You win.”
Cillian nods in agreement, lifting his empty glass. Maricruz doesn’t look up.
I meet Cillian’s glass with my own. “Bully for me.”
On cue, my phone dings. I scrabble for it, thinking it’s Artemis. But it’s an angry text from Rhys, demanding to know where we are. I text back. “Drunk at the soda shop,” I mumble aloud, squinting at the screen. “Can’t drive back. Come pick us up.”
PICK YOURSELVES UP is the response.
“Looks like we’re walking.” I stand, my leg half asleep from being against the hard linoleum floor. The door chimes, and Cillian’s mom observes us with her hands on her hips.
“One of you is not old enough to drink.” She gives me a heavy look. I can feel my face burning. One thing I haven’t been able to shed from my Watcher upbringing is the absolute shame of breaking any rules. We lived by rules, and frequently died if those rules weren’t followed.
I hang my head. “Sorry.”
“I won’t tell your mother, if you promise not to do it again.”
“Oh, bugger off.” Cillian scowls.
His mother seems to grow somehow, her braids wrapped around her head like a terrible crown of power and authority. “Young man.”
“Can you give us a ride back to our castle?” Jade asks, hiccupping. “We’re all very drunk.”
I shove her. But I’m tipsy and not paying attention to things like extra strength. She goes careening into the counter. “Sorry!”
“Bish,” she slurs, glaring at me and rubbing her hip. Maricruz helps right her.
“Well. I don’t approve of this, but I’m glad you all had the sense not to try and drive. I’ll give you a ride back.” She waits as we slink out and Cillian turns off the lights and locks up.
“I like what you did with the shop,” she says.
His silence is more aggressive than my Jade shoving. When we get to the castle, he climbs out of the car.
“You aren’t coming home?” his mother asks.
He doesn’t respond as he stomps away toward the front door. Maricruz and Jade follow him, weaving. Esther turns off the car and climbs out. Her voice is low and sad. “I’ll walk back. Here are the keys.”
“He’s angry,” I say.
“I know.”
“You should talk to him.”
“I know.”
“My mom never talked to me.”
She reaches out and pats my cheek, her hand soft and warm. “Motherhood is far more complicated than you can even imagine.”
“Then make it simple. We need to know what the triangle thing was. Even if it hurts.”
“What if it hurts him?” She’s watching him walk away with a look I can’t interpret.
“I’ll protect him.”
“Keep him away from this. If you want to know more, come talk to me about it. Without Cillian. The Sleeping One worshippers have been around for centuries; they’re not going anywhere now. But tell Cillian whatever you have to in order to keep him out of it. Okay?”
I don’t know why she needs him excluded, but there’s an intensity and desperation to her plea that I respond to. And the Sleeping One is a name I haven’t heard before. It might be enough to find information even if butthead Artemis never calls me back. “Okay. I’ll visit tomorrow afternoon.” I have castle meetings in the morning, and I still have to visit Leo.
She nods, then walks back into the woods.
I catch up to the others, bid Maricruz good night, and help a staggering Jade inside to her room, then follow Cillian to mine.
I throw myself onto my bed and squeeze my eyes shut. I have so much spinning around me. So many questions and problems. What I need is a Watcher. Leo was supposed to be my Watcher. I should be able to turn all this nonsense over to him so I can focus on the important, punchy bits. But I can’t even talk to him, apparently.
Slayer stamina means most of the alcohol has already left my system. That hardly seems like a fair side effect. If anyone should be able to get good and sloshed on occasion, it’s Slayers. But as it leaves, I realize I know exactly where Leo is. Which means I’ll talk to him tomorrow.
I fall asleep listening to my phone ring and ring and fail to connect me with Artemis.
19
CHAO-AHN IS IN HER CARTOON hall of horrors, waiting for me.
“I don’t want any ice cream.”
“You are always gone. You don’t talk to me.” She jabs at me with a spoon.
“It’s not a slumber-party scenario! You three can stay as long as you want. We’ll protect you. But I kind of have a lot going on right now.”
She mutters something in Cantonese that feels like swearing at me, even if I don’t understand the words. I grab the carton of ice cream and shovel it into my mouth. “Happy?” I mumble around it.
She shakes her head. “This would be easier if we were awake.”
“And we’d be less likely to be stabbed by her.” I nod toward Sineya, prowling on the edges of the dream.
“She never stabs me. She likes me.”
“Congratulations.” I salute her with my spoon. “Have you seen Buffy around? I can’t find her lately.”
Chao-Ahn scowls. “No.”
“Fine. Whatever. I got this on my own.” I spend the rest of the dream sitting there eating ice cream, while Sineya repeatedly stabs me in the back and Chao-Ahn throws her hands up in exasperation.
* * *
The next morning at breakfast, it’s clear Chao-Ahn remembers the dream very clearly. She glares at me from across the room during the entire meal.
Cillian rubs his head, his close-cropped hair unmussable. He looks rough. I pass him a bottle of ibuprofen. It takes everything in me not to stare aggressively toward the pantries and give away that I already know where Leo is. It was pretty obvious as soon as I thought about it. Not the dorms where I am. Not the Council wing, with its connection to secret passages. The one place in the castle everyone wants me to stay out of for other reasons, namely my atrocious cooking.
“What is wrong with you?” Chao-Ahn asks, dropping onto the bench across from me.
“Where to start?” Jade mutters from where she’s slumped on my other side. I pass her the ibuprofen. I feel fine. Yay, Slayer powers.
Cillian jabs in her direction with his spoon. “Hey now.”