He held up a hand. “Miss Brinton, I had hoped we could speak for a moment.”
“Do we have something to speak about?”
“I believe so.” He gestured down the path I had already been traversing.
“You must excuse me. I should attend to my father.”
“He requested time to learn more of my farming methods. I left him in the study with a large stack of books. There is no reason to disturb him.” He stepped forward, blocking my escape. “Please.”
Whatever he had to say could not take long. I nodded and we began our stroll.
“I hope the garden meets with your approval.”
“Yes. It is quite magical.” An uncomfortable silence settled between us. He should be the one to speak. It was he who asked for this conversation, after all. Yet when the silence became overbearing, I asked, “Does your estate hold any other secrets? A hidden lake, perhaps?”
“Though the estate boasts a fair-sized wood with excellent hunting and a few hills that provide quite remarkable views, I am afraid I cannot claim a lake as one of my assets.”
“Do you gather a large party for your hunts?”
“We do hold an annual hunt on the grounds, but I prefer an expedition with only a few friends for company.” He stopped and turned to me. “Let me be frank. Are you still determined to unite yourself with my cousin?”
Better Mr. Northam than him. “I do not believe it proper for us to converse about such things.”
“We have always spoken rather boldly with each other, have we not? It suits both our temperaments, and has from the very first. Do not turn reticent now.”
He had taken measure of my character so easily that first night, had known a direct conversation was my preference, had seen through my defenses and spied my weaknesses. I had not been so wise. “Yet one may speak boldly without being open about one’s intents.”
“You do not wish to tell me?”
“I wasn’t speaking of my own character.”
“You think I have not been open?”
I shrugged. “I think you have done exactly as you wanted.”
“And what is that?”
I didn’t hesitate. “To illustrate how wrong I was.”
He frowned. “How have I done that?”
Did he hope I had not recognized what he’d been about? “Did you not assure me that if your cousin wished to make me care for him he would succeed?”
“He would. Because he would stop at nothing to get whatever he desired.”
I gestured to him. “It seems to be a family trait, at least where the male line is concerned.”
“You think I am like him?” he asked incredulously.
“Aside from ensuring that your cousin and I could never be together, as you have confessed, was it not also your intent to prove the folly of my assertion that your cousin could never win my heart and make me love him?”
He stood a moment, confusion in his expression, before it was replaced with disbelief. “You think I set out to make you love me to prove a point?” He paused. “Did I succeed?”
Arrogant, hateful man. “In making your point? Yes.”
His gaze grew more intense. “Then you care for me.”
Was I mistaken in thinking he didn’t care? That look in his eyes. . . . But, no. It was only the look of someone determined to get his way. “Of course not.”
“And my having no effect on you is why you are twisting your fingers like you wish to wring them off?”
I stilled my hands. “Must I confess admiration for you to end your insistent pestering? At least there is no deception where your cousin is concerned, whereas with you . . . I have no one to blame but myself.” I stepped past him and hurried toward the gate.
“Margaret, wait—”
I spun back around. “I never gave you leave to use my name. But that doesn’t matter, does it, because your title allows you to do what you want? You speak of your cousin taking what he wants and how you despise him for it, but how have your actions been any different?”
He stepped toward me. “I did what I did because it was the right thing to do.”
“According to you.”
“I was protecting you.”
“I did not ask for your protection. I do not want it. Surely I am not the first woman to set my sights on Mr. Northam. Yet you cannot have gone ensnaring all those who have come before. Unless. . . .” Had he? Perhaps I was not the first woman he had engaged himself to.
“Of course not. It was nothing like that.”
“Then I can only assume you singled me out because I would not pay heed to your advice.”
He frowned. “I admit I thought you would see reason given time.”
I had been correct. All of this—everything—it had all been to prove himself correct, to feed his conceit, to purposefully mislead and hurt me. “I congratulate you on your superior judgment; you seem to understand my character better than even I do. Your efforts were not in vain; you have proved your point well. If there is nothing else, I will return inside.”
I didn’t wait for his response.
I found my father in the study precisely as Lord Williams had said. “How did you find the estate?” I asked, moving toward him.
“Lord Williams is a most attentive landlord. Not one of his tenants wants for necessities and comfort.”
“I am glad to hear he cares.”
My father frowned. “Is something the matter?”
“Being here, that is all. I’ll be in the music room. There were a few songs there I have not seen before.” And it was the only place other than my bedchamber where Lord Williams did not seem to bother me.
I worked my way through one song a few times, but my mind was only partially concentrating on the notes. How long must I stay here and face the humiliation of my own weaknesses? How long before my mother wrote, requesting our return? Alice had to get better soon. My mother’s letter would give us a better idea of Alice’s expected recovery than Louisa’s, since Louisa most certainly received her updates from Daniel.
I stopped the piece without finishing and began to softly play my mother’s favorite song, hoping like a child that the song would somehow carry to her and persuade her to write. It didn’t seem to be enough, though. My heart still ached for home. So I began to hum and finally to sing.
I sat after, my hands silent on the keys. Though I was no less alone than before, I felt as though she’d heard, as though she were just in the other room listening.
How I wished to be home.
I rose to retrieve a different song when low voices sounded in the hall, almost as though in an argument. The next moment, Lady Williams walked into the room. “That was beautiful, Miss Brinton. You don’t mind if I sit and listen, do you? It has been such a long time since we have enjoyed such superb music in this home.”
I set the piece I’d picked up back down. “Not at all.” It was her house, after all.
“Did you hear that, Gregory? For goodness’ sake, come in and sit down. There’s no point lurking in the hallway.”
Lord Williams walked in, his face a mask of disapproval. “I can’t stay. I was passing, that is all.”
“Nonsense, dear. You’ve been lingering for the past ten minutes. We Williamses never could resist music, could we?”