“I know…it’s just so hard.”
I closed my eyes as I listened to the sound of her voice, the pain in her tone.
“I don’t regret what I did. But I just miss you so much…”
Tears escaped my closed lids. I let the two drops drip down my face like streams. This was my punishment for all the terrible things I’d done, the innocent people I’d killed, the prostitutes I’d paid, the crimes I’d committed. But it seemed too harsh…far too harsh. I didn’t say a word because that was impossible to do without my emotions coming through. Last thing I wanted her to know was how broken I was, that I wanted to leave this world forever just to escape the pain, that the only reason I was still alive was because she chose to call at that exact moment.
It was almost as if it was meant to be.
8
Sofia
Now I was so big, I was just miserable.
It was hard to sleep, hard to walk, and every time I looked at my naked reflection, I couldn’t believe Hades actually wanted to have sex with me. My stomach had stretch marks, my petite frame was distorted by the life growing inside me. The time I had spent with Andrew had been magical, but now that I was at the end, I was ready for it to be over.
I finished up my final project at the office and prepared to leave. I’d be on maternity leave for a couple months, so Antonio would have to take care of everything. I made sure all my work was done before I walked out.
Antonio ran into me in the hallway. “You look a little uncomfortable…”
I rubbed my stomach and arched my back to decrease the pain in my spine. “A bit.”
He smiled. “Go home and get some rest. I got everything handled here. And make sure you bring Andrew by whenever you’re ready.”
I headed home and waddled up the steps until I got inside. Summer was approaching, and the heat only added to my discomfort. I set my bag on the coatrack and heard my mom in the kitchen. “Please tell me you’re making a grilled cheese sandwich.” I walked inside and saw her cooking on the stove.
“No. I haven’t made you one of those since you were eleven.”
I leaned against the counter and rubbed my stomach.
“But I’ll make you one now since it’s a special occasion.”
“Thanks, Mom. Or I should say…Grandma.”
“I’m so excited to hear that in this house.” She pulled out all the ingredients to make me a sandwich, a floral apron tied around her waist. “So…will Hades be returning soon?”
“I was going to call him in a little bit. I can tell Andrew will be here any day.”
“Good. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.” She waggled her eyebrows.
I ignored her double meaning.
“You think he’ll stay here?”
“Mom, come on.”
“What?” she asked innocently. “I’m just curious…”
Ever since she’d spotted Hades and me in the morning, she’d been hoping for a reconciliation. She loved Hades and would never give up on him. I explained to her why it would never work, but she didn’t understand. “Well, don’t be.”
“This man is the father of my grandchild. Of course I care.”
“Wherever he stays doesn’t change his role in Andrew’s life, so I wouldn’t worry about it so much.”
She rolled her eyes.
“I saw that, Mom.”
She shrugged and kept cooking. “I didn’t hide it, dear.”
I was sitting in bed when I called Hades.
Hades picked up on the first ring. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m doing okay. But I’m getting really uncomfortable…”
His deep voice was slightly raspy, like he’d spent all day working. “I can imagine.”
“I really think he could be here any day…so maybe you should come to Rome.” I wasn’t afraid to give birth even though it was incredibly painful, but I was afraid to do it without him. I wanted Hades with me every step of the way. Not to mention, I just wanted him here. Sleeping with him had made me forget all the fights we had. Now I just missed him.
“You have a week to go.”
“I know, but I could use the help.”
Hades was quiet. He didn’t give me what I wanted or explain his trepidation.
I tried not to take offense to it, but that was difficult. “Unless you don’t want to…”
“It’s not that. I just have a lot of shit with work right now.”
“Oh…” Sometimes I forgot that he worked with Maddox every day. I lived in a different city, so I didn’t have to think about it on a daily basis. Sometimes it was easy to forget Maddox existed at all.
“But I’ll make it work. I’ll stay at the hotel down the street.”
I didn’t want him down the street. It was probably a bad idea for him to stay with me. I didn’t want him in a different room on a different street. I wanted him right beside me, especially through times like this. “I assumed you would stay with me…”
A long, awkward silence extended over the line. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sofia.”
His words cut me like a knife. “Why?”
“You know why.”
The lull in our conversation stretched because there was nothing else to say. I wanted to get my way, but arguing over the phone wasn’t the way to accomplish that. So I just let it be. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
His deep voice was reassuring. “Yeah…I’ll be there.”
9
Hades
I entered the hotel bar and saw Maddox sitting alone. It was a strange image, a very powerful man sitting alone by the window with a glass of water in front of him. The man never drank…at least not in public.
I walked through the sea of empty tables until I reached the small table up against the window. The Tuscan Rose was more overrun with shady characters than it had ever been, and if Sofia could see it, she would turn pale as milk.
I sat across from him and watched him look out the window. He seemed to be observing a group of girls walking by, holding bags of designer clothes as they ambled off together. His eyes studied them closely, like a cat stalking prey. His intentions didn’t seem sexual…they didn’t seem anything.
We hadn’t spoken since the night he’d saved my life. After that happened, I worked on my own projects and took care of business from a distance. His kindness pushed me further away than his evilness ever did.
The waitress came over and brought me a glass of scotch before she disappeared.
Maddox slowly turned his gaze on me, his expression deflated. His shoulders slumped with fatigue, and he seemed to be in a solemn mood. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and his emotions were very theatrical. When he was mad, he was really mad. When he was happy, he practically giggled. And right now, he seemed down.
I refused to ask him about his feelings. That implied I cared…and I didn’t. “I need to leave for a few weeks.”
After I spoke the words, Maddox gave me his full attention. He looked at me with crystal-blue eyes, eyes so bright they made the sky look black. Whenever he stared at me, he always seemed mesmerized, like he’d never really looked at me before. “Where?”