“Why?”
“Would you really want to live that way? To always know the outcome of every decision before you even make it? That’s a dangerous power, and it would destroy you.” She rested her hands on the table and stared at me with a fearless expression. She didn’t seem to pity me at all. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help. I wish you well.”
I remained in the seat because I had a backup plan I’d hoped to avoid. It was a terrible decision, but I’d been thinking about it for a long time. It felt cheap to take the easy way out, but I didn’t see the point in suffering when there was no hope that things would change. “You said there was a way for me to stop loving her. Is that still on the table?”
She was still as a statue as she considered my question. “It’s always on the table.”
“Then that’s what I want.” I pushed the cash toward her as payment.
She didn’t take it. “Hades, do you know what you’re doing?”
It was a devastating decision to make, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. I’d worked so hard for Sofia to love me, and in the end, I got what I wanted…but not the way I wanted. I wanted to live a life where I didn’t think about her every second of the day, where I could just have a normal existence without being smothered by this devotion. I’d tried everything else first, and nothing worked. This was my last option. “Yes.”
“It can’t be reversed.”
“Good.”
“You can’t walk into this tent and ask me to give it back. It doesn’t work like that.”
“I understand.”
She was quiet for a long time as she considered the request. “But this woman loves you. You are cursing her to the same existence you’ve had to endure.”
“It’s not the same. She gave up on me. She chose this. I can’t keep fighting for her when she won’t fight for me. I can’t do it anymore—I won’t do it anymore.”
She grabbed the envelope of money and took a few bills before she pushed it back to me. “Alright…as you wish.”
14
Sofia
It’d been a month since Hades left.
It didn’t get easier. If anything, it got harder.
Ash’s words echoed in my ears long after he said them. He defended Hades and said he was the wounded one. I was the coward who’d abandoned him. I was the one who’d caused him all the pain.
It was impossible to look at my son and not think of Hades. It was impossible to sleep at night without him beside me. I wanted my husband back. I wanted a marriage. I wanted us to be a family.
Could I really end up with another man someday? Have children with somebody else? Never see Hades again?
I wasn’t sure if I could do it. Now that I had Andrew, I felt more connected to Hades than ever before. I thought of my ex-husband every time I looked into that little boy’s face. Sometimes I considered packing my things and showing up on his doorstep. I considered forgetting about Maddox and just doing what I wanted.
But then I thought of Andrew…the tiny person I had to protect.
If it were just me, it would be different. My life was okay to gamble.
But with a baby, I didn’t have that luxury.
When Andrew was asleep, I called Ash.
He picked up right away. “Sweetheart, I told you we can’t be together. Have I thought about it? I’d be lying if I said no. But it would be wrong…no matter how good the sex was.”
I wasn’t in the mood for jokes, so I ignored what he said. “Can I see you?”
“Always. But is everything okay?”
“I’m fine. I just need to talk to you.”
“I can meet you in fifteen minutes. Where?”
“My mom’s not home, so I need to stay with Andrew. Could you come here?”
“Of course. But you aren’t trying to seduce me, right?”
I hung up.
The first thing Ash wanted to do was visit with Andrew. He stood over his crib and watched his nephew sleep. He gripped the wooden rail and continued to stare. “Can we wake him up?”
“God, no. You never wake a sleeping baby.”
“Why not?”
I rolled my eyes because he would never understand. I took a seat in one of the chairs so we could have the conversation I wasn’t sure how to have. I patted the armrest beside me.
Ash took a seat and started to rock the chair even though he wasn’t holding Andrew. “What’s up, sweetheart?”
“I know this is a lot to ask, but I need you to do something for me.”
When he realized how serious this was, he stopped rocking and his face turned as hard as a concrete wall. “You know I would do anything for you.”
“Good…because I need you to kill Maddox.”
He stilled further, his chest frozen because he stopped breathing. His eyes remained unmoving as he absorbed my expression and let my final words linger in the air.
“I have to get my husband back. The only way to do that is by getting rid of that guy. Hades needs to be free, and we need to be a family. I can’t not see him for the rest of my life. I just can’t.”
He turned his gaze away and stared at the crib.
“Ash?”
He ran his fingers across the shadow on his jawline before he answered. “I can’t do that.”
My heart tanked.
“That would be a betrayal to my brother…and I can’t do that.”
“How could freeing him be a betrayal?”
“Because if I fail…” He turned his gaze back to me. “You and Andrew will suffer the consequences. I couldn’t live with that guilt. And Hades would kill himself if he lost you both. It’s way too risky.”
That was the answer I had been dreading. “You just said you would do anything for me.”
“Anything that won’t hurt you. I just saw Hades a few weeks ago… Maddox is complicated. I might think it’s the perfect time and be completely wrong. I’d be gambling with your life. I’m not confident enough to do that.” When he saw my devastated expression, he continued, “I’m sorry…”
I’d been hoping to get what I wanted. It seemed like such an easy solution, but if that were the case, Hades would’ve orchestrated it already. No one would help me in this endeavor. I had to do it on my own…or it wouldn’t happen at all. “Then I’ll do it myself.”
His eyes narrowed on my face. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious. I couldn’t do anything about it before because I was pregnant. But now I’m not anymore…”
“You’re still a mother. If something happens to you, who will he have?”
“You.”
His eyes softened even though he did his best to hide it.
“I gave up on Hades because I had no other option. But now I do have an option. And I’m going to use it.”
He shook his head. “No. You have no chance against him.”
“All I need is a gun and a target. I can do the rest.”
“You don’t understand…”