“I’m never going to move on if I have to watch you have your own family, if I have to watch my son love some other guy. It would be torture.”
“Coward.” She said the word slowly, like she was feeling it on her tongue for the first time. “Fucking coward. I don’t like this either, but I would never turn my back on my boy.”
“Because you get to keep him.” My temper flared. “You get to start over with a new life. You can work at the hotel and raise a family without looking over your shoulder. You have no idea how shitty my life is, all the bullshit I have to put up with. Don’t call me a fucking coward. You have no idea what I’ve sacrificed for you. I’m doing this for both of you. All I ever do is cause you harm. And I can’t do that to my son.”
Tears billowed over the edge of her lashes and dripped down her cheeks. “So, what? That’s it?” She spoke through her tears, her voice cracking. “We’re just never going to talk again? I’m never going to see you again?”
“You can always call me if you need anything…but that’s it.”
She turned her head slightly as if I’d slapped her. “I don’t need anything from you, Hades. The only thing Andrew and I want is you.”
My heart thudded in pain, but I kept up my expression.
She watched me as if she expected me to change my mind, to come to my senses and realize how harsh this decision was.
But there was no other choice. The best thing for both of them was to have nothing to do with me. And the best thing for my sanity was to never see them again. It was depressing as fuck, but there was no other way. Right now, I looked like a coward, an asshole. But that still wouldn’t change my decision.
I wanted to kiss her one last time before I left, but that wasn’t an option. I’d killed her affection the moment I’d abandoned her. Her opinion of me would always be low. When people asked about me, she would say I was a coward who deserted our son. I ruined the most beautiful thing in my life, but I was done trying; I was done fighting. This wasn’t meant to be.
It was time to shut the door forever. “Bye, Sofia.” I gave her a chance to say something back before I turned away and walked out of the house. If she wanted to scream and yell at me, now was her chance. But when I was out of the house…it was really over.
Her eyes shone with wetness, and her face was puffy from all the tears. The white parts of her eyes were now red. She trembled slightly with devastation. It was the moment of truth, but she didn’t know what to say. She refused to say goodbye to me. She couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t keep my emotions in check much longer. I’d done a good job pretending to be heartless, but I wouldn’t last more than a few seconds. When I was about to cave, I turned my back on her…and walked away.
12
Sofia
The joy I felt at Andrew’s arrival was quickly extinguished when Hades walked out on me. I’d already lost him once, so I shouldn’t be so devastated. But knowing I may never see him again and he wanted it that way left permanent scars on my bones. He didn’t just want nothing to do with me…but also Andrew.
The most amazing person in the world.
I’d had a much higher opinion of Hades. He was loyal and committed, but all those qualities I’d once adored were gone. Now I sat in Andrew’s room, staring blankly out the window as he slept in the crib. I was heartbroken, and no bandage was strong enough to fix it. I understood it was hard to see each other when we used to be so happy, but I still couldn’t justify his decision.
Andrew would never know his father.
I looked at the picture frame on the dresser, the image of the man I loved. I wanted Andrew to see his father’s face whenever he wanted, to know his father was there even when he was hundreds of kilometers away. But now I couldn’t look at it…even considered taking it down.
Was this my fault? If I had never slept with him again, would he still be here?
Did I push him when he wasn’t ready?
I considered calling him many times, but I had too much pride. If he wanted nothing to do with me, then I wanted nothing to do with him. I knew I was just bitter and sad at the moment, but I meant it all the same.
He abandoned us.
My mom called to me up the stairs. “Honey, you have a guest.”
I’d just given Andrew a bath and changed his diaper. He was in a blue onesie, and he looked so cute in his comfortable crib. There were many times when I had to stop and stare because he looked so much like Hades. I stepped into the hallway at the top of the stairs. “Who is it?”
“A very handsome young man.”
I rolled my eyes. “That doesn’t help at all, Mom. What’s his name?”
“I don’t know…Fire or something.”
He was a hot guy named Fire… Took me a couple seconds to figure it out. “That’s Ash. He’s Hades’s brother.”
“Whatever. He’s here.”
I walked downstairs to meet him in the entryway. I was in a loose t-shirt and jeans. I’d put no effort into my appearance, but I was too sad to care if I didn’t make a good impression. I opened the door and looked at my former brother-in-law. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Taking your mom on a date since she thinks I’m hot.”
I rolled my eyes.
He smiled. “And Fire is a kinda cool name.”
I opened the door wider and welcomed him inside. Just like my son, Ash looked like Hades. They had the same eyes and the same build. “How are you?”
He shrugged. “You know.” He didn’t elaborate on what that response meant. He was a man of few words, and he rarely shared his life with outside people. “I wanted to meet my nephew. According to Hades, he’s gonna break some hearts when he gets older.”
Like a typical mother, I was already so proud of my boy. “Yeah, he’s absolutely beautiful.” Ash mentioned his brother and I wanted to ask what else was said, but at the same time, I didn’t want to know. “Follow me.”
We went to the third floor and entered Andrew’s room. Ash clearly didn’t have much experience with kids because he stood at the rail with his hands in his pockets and just stared.
I came to his side and looked down at the baby boy wrapped in clean clothes with a warm blanket draped over the side. I watched Andrew look at our new guest, and I wondered what he was thinking, if he recognized him as his father since they looked so much alike.
Ash whispered quietly, “You guys did a good job.”
“Thank you…”
“I guess some good came out of you having sex with my brother.”
I smacked his arm playfully. I grew up as an only child, and Ash felt like the brother I’d never had. He teased me but made me feel loved at the same time. “You want to hold him?”
“Like, pick him up?”
“Yeah…that’s what you do with babies.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. You think I can handle that?”
“You’re gonna have to. You’re his uncle.” I picked up Andrew and placed him in Ash’s arms. “Support his head and keep both arms under his body. See? It’s not so hard.”