Yes, he was. I told my mother the reason we had to leave, and she understood. But she was so fond of him…as was I. He was the father of her grandchild, so he would always be around. But I thought today wasn’t the best time for chitchat. “Maybe next time. It’s probably going to be a little tense since we haven’t seen each other in so long.”
“Alright…I understand.”
When I heard the doorbell ring downstairs, I immediately felt the jolt in my chest. I was nervous, uneasy, totally erratic. I’d seen Hades so many times before, but now everything was different. I wasn’t even sure what we were anymore. Were we friends?
I headed to the bottom floor and then opened the front door.
He stood there. Tall and proud. In a black t-shirt that fit over his broad shoulders nicely, he was the same powerhouse I remembered. He had a wide chest that stretched the fabric tightly, and his bulging arms did the same thing. His flat stomach led to narrow hips, and his jeans were slightly low on his hips. His wedding ring was absent, but the watch I gave him was still on his wrist.
I stared at him for several seconds…speechless. He was more handsome than I remembered. Striking brown eyes, masculine cheekbones, and a jawline so hard it could cut glass. He was the perfect man.
I missed him.
His eyes landed on mine, and they didn’t blink. He stared for a long time, as if he was sizing me up the way I’d just done to him. I probably looked completely different. My stomach was much bigger, along with the rest of my body. My thighs were thicker, my arms had more mass, and my tits were definitely a size larger.
He didn’t make a single comment.
The quiet stretched on for a long time, like neither one of us knew what to say.
I wanted to move into his chest and hold him, but that didn’t seem appropriate anymore. Just looking at him didn’t seem appropriate.
He stepped away from the door and slid his hands into his pockets. “Ready to go?”
I grabbed my purse and walked with him to the car.
We sat together in the doctor’s office. I was on the table in a gown. My bare belly was visible, and the sonogram machine was next to me and ready to be used.
Hades sat against the opposite wall, his gaze directed out the window like he purposely didn’t want to look at me. He didn’t make small talk or ask how I was doing, probably because our conversation over the phone had already been dull enough.
This was the man I used to speak to every day. Now, we didn’t talk at all.
The doctor came inside and smeared the gel across my belly. He pressed the apparatus over the surface of my tummy and projected a picture of our baby on the screen. Andrew’s heartbeat was visible, along with some of his other features, like the shape of his skull and the outline of his body.
Seeing my son brought tears to my eyes.
Hades came to my side and stood next to me, his eyes on the screen as well. He stared with the same intensity, as if he couldn’t believe this was really happening. He took a deep breath and continued to stare.
“Everything looks healthy,” the doctor said. “He’s coming along nicely. Keep taking your vitamins, drink lots of water, and try to walk for at least thirty minutes a day.”
I was on my feet all day at work, so that wasn’t a problem. “Thank you.”
After the doctor cleaned me up, he walked out so I could get dressed.
As before, Hades turned around and faced the opposite wall so I’d have my privacy to get ready. He didn’t have to do that, but I guess it would be weird if he didn’t avert his gaze.
After I got dressed, I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. “I already knew he was doing well, but it’s nice to hear. There’s no way he could kick me all the time and not have strong bones and muscles.”
“Or maybe he’s just feisty like his mom.”
“Very true.”
We left the doctor’s office and got back into his car. Hades drove me home, driving through the streets as the sun set in the sky. Summer was still a few months away, so it got dark a little earlier than I wanted.
“You want to get dinner?” I wasn’t sure what provoked me to ask the question. I was just sad at the way our relationship had become so quiet and uncomfortable. I’d expected it to be awkward in the beginning, but that discomfort wasn’t wearing off.
He kept his eyes on the road with one hand on the wheel. “I have to be heading back…”
“Oh.” I couldn’t hide my disappointment. He used to drop everything for me. Now I wasn’t the most important thing in his life.
After another five minutes of painful silence, he arrived at my home and parked at the curb in front of my door.
I was suddenly filled with sadness. It may be a few months before I saw him again, maybe even longer before we spoke again. This break was so clean that it was emotionless. It was hard to believe we’d ever loved each other when he was so indifferent to me.
He got out of the car and walked me to the door.
I got my keys out of my purse and unlocked it.
He stayed a couple feet back, like he was hoping I wouldn’t invite him inside for a drink. “Keep me updated on Andrew. If you need anything, I can get down here in a couple hours. When it gets closer to the birth, I’ll stay in the city so I don’t miss anything.”
How did we become this impersonal? We used to be so passionate and affectionate. Now there was no heat between us. All the fire that used to dance around had been permanently extinguished. “Alright…”
Hades turned away without even saying goodbye.
I didn’t know what possessed me to say it, but I grabbed his attention. “Hades?”
He turned back around, but he didn’t come closer to me.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes.”
I walked toward him until we were face-to-face again. “It just seems like…I don’t know.”
His eyes shifted back and forth as he looked into mine, but he didn’t respond to my comment.
“It seems like you hate me or something.”
He shook his head slightly. “No. I could never hate you.”
“Then why are you so cold?”
His face tilted toward the ground as he considered how to respond. He lifted his head once again and looked me in the eye. “Because we aren’t together anymore. This is how I treat everybody else.”
“Well, I don’t like it.”
His eyes narrowed. “Then you shouldn’t have left me.” He turned to walk away.
I grabbed him by the arm and forced him back. “You have no idea how hard this has been for me. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. You have no idea how much I hurt every day that you’re gone.”
“Then you could’ve stayed.”
“You know I couldn’t…”
He pulled his arm away from my grasp. “That was your decision, and I respect it. You were doing the right thing for you and Andrew, and I get it. But let’s not forget that you abandoned me to the hellhole where I live. You get to start over with a new life. I don’t. You were a prisoner to Maddox…and now I’ve become his captive.”
5
Hades