He holds his s’more maker over the fire. “I’m sorry you found out like that.”
“Did you plan on telling me?”
He swallows hard as he nods. “One day.”
“When?”
“When I asked you to marry me.” He looks up then to find me breathless.
I bite my lip as our eyes stay locked. “Why now? Why even give me the ring?”
He licks his lips, and I hate how unsure of himself he is. “It’s always been your ring,” he says with a shrug. “With the resumes going out and my confused feelings, I wanted to give you something to reassure you that you had me. Completely.”
I look away, inhaling sharply through my nose. “Is it true you didn’t give it to Jasmine?”
“Like I said, it’s always been yours.” I look up to find him still watching me. “When I was younger and I’d read the A.A., I would always think, It isn’t Aiden and Asher. It’s Allison and Asher. It reminded me of you, which was why I tried to get Aiden’s ring because I didn’t want to buy Jasmine one.”
I shake my head as I take a bite of my freshly made s’more. “Such a gentleman.”
“Hey now. I bought her a nice ring, and I was good to her.”
“You were.”
“Not as good as I am to you, though.” Our eyes meet once more. “I actually try with you.”
“You do.”
Silence fills the space between us as we hold each other’s gaze. “These last six days have been absolute shit, Ally. I’ve missed you so damn much.”
I swallow past the lump that is forming in my throat. “I’ve missed you too. A lot.”
“I don’t like fighting with you like this. It’s not fun.”
I scoff, nodding. “It shouldn’t have been a fight. I just felt played.”
“And I shouldn’t have made you feel like that,” he says. “I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t.”
“I know. But you know me, always in my head.” I put the s’more on my knee and twirl the can in my hands, wrapping the string around my finger. “I’m sorry I blew the whole situation out of proportion.”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t say that you did. You had valid feelings. I mean, I said thanks when you told me you loved me for the first time instead of saying what I felt, and ultimately making you feel unworthy.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I think it hurt my pride more than anything. I wanted so much to be loved by you.”
“Wanted?”
I look up. “Huh?”
“You said, you wanted so much to be loved by me. Has that changed?” His eyes are clouded with pain, and my stomach hurts at the sight of it.
“No, it hasn’t changed at all.”
He looks down at his can, his glasses sliding down his nose a little bit. “That’s good. Really good.”
“I’d hope so.”
His lips turn up as he nods. When he looks at me, his heart is in his eyes. “I was so terrified to say the same thing back that I didn’t even get to enjoy how you made me feel with those three words. How you made me feel that whole night. Like I was the luckiest man on earth.”
I continue to wrap the string around my finger nervously as he holds my gaze. “It was the best night of my life.”
“Good. That’s what I wanted. I wanted you to feel loved.”
“You did?”
“I know now that I did. I may have fought that, though.”
“A little bit,” I say teasingly, and he grins as his eyes move along my face.
“I think we both fucked up here.”
“We did, but I don’t want it to ruin us.”
“No, it hasn’t. At least not for me.”
“Same.” My heart starts to flutter in my chest, knowing we’re both on the same page. Then I remember something. “I listened to the song.”
He furrows his brow. “The song?”
“The one you picked for me,” I say as my eyes start to fill with tears. “‘Falling in Love’?”
He lets his head fall back, groaning. “The girls told you.”
“They did.”
Asher brings his head back up, and he’s grinning. “Sorry, it wasn’t a Jonas Brothers song.”
I grin back. “It’s actually better.”
He eyes me. “Liar.”
“No, really. Every word is how I feel about you.”
“Me too,” he admits, his eyes searching mine. “We’ve always been together, Ally. And one thing I realized while we were apart, I don’t like who I am without you.”
My chest aches. “I don’t either.”
“Well, at least you’re not super boring,” he says hopelessly, and I laugh. “Or lonely. I was so lonely, and I don’t know, but there could be a chance I’m not funny.”
I snort at that, shaking my head. “You’re hilarious.”
“See? I need you, Ally T. You make me who I am.”
“Same.” Oh, heart, here we go. Is this really happening?
I think it is.
“I’m really sorry, Ally.”
“I don’t want an apology, Asher. I want you.”
His lips curve but also wobble as his eyes burn into mine. Love is pouring from his gaze and warming every single inch of me. “I’ve waited my entire life to love someone with my whole being.”
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
“These last six days have wrecked me.”
“Me too.”
“But I needed them.”
“I really didn’t. I got more in my head, and I was ready to let you go.”
“You’re kidding.”
I assure him with my eyes. “Seriously, I made myself live without you so I’d know I can.”
He shakes his head. “Well, that’s not happening,” he says sternly. “You’re mine.”
“I am, Asher.” My eyes search his. “But are you mine?”
He doesn’t even hesitate. “Entirely.”
He holds the can up to his mouth and urges me with his eyes to lift it to my ear. He doesn’t have to say anything for me to know that. Without breaking our intense gaze, I slowly lift it up to my ear as tears roll down my face. Once it’s there, he exhales heavily, and into the can, he says, “I can’t believe this, but I’m about to tell you something in this can I’ve never said to anyone and meant.”
My hand is shaking as I move the can, bringing it to my mouth. “What?”
He waits for me to bring it back to my ear before he says, “I am in love with you, Ally T.”
I don’t move the can. “Ash B, you better not be saying that to keep me around.”
He slowly shakes his head. “I’m not. I love you. I always have, I always will, and I’m pretty sure since you unleashed all these feelings, I’m never going to stop saying it.”
My eyes slowly fall shut as I drop the can and cover my face, emotion taking over. A sob racks my body as I look through my fingers at him. “You promise?’
“I promise.”
As my tears cloud my vision, I whisper, “I have to tell you something.”