“What have you been feeding him?” Nora eyed my cat.
“That’s an odd question. Cat food. What else would I feed him?”
“Are you sure he’s not gorging on cookies?”
I ran a hand down Erwin’s back. “Cats don’t generally eat that sort of thing. In fact, they don’t have the taste receptors for sweet flavors.”
“You know I’m not pro-dieting as a general rule, but I think he needs to go on a diet.”
“No he doesn’t.” I kept petting him. “He’s just fluffy.”
Nora raised her eyebrow. “Okay.”
“He’s not fat,” I argued.
“Hazel, he can’t even jump up on the couch.”
My brow furrowed. “He’s getting older. And he’s not fat. He’s fluffy.”
She just patted my leg and took a sip of her drink.
Sophie didn’t live far away, so Nora and I had only finished half our drinks by the time she arrived. She came in wearing a pink shirt and distressed jeans, her curly hair down around her shoulders.
“I got here as fast as I could. What’s the emergency?”
Nora started making another gin and tonic. “Have a seat, Soph. I know Everly isn’t here, but I have her blessing. I think it’s time we extend the circle of trust.”
Sophie slowly lowered herself into the armchair next to the couch. “Circle of trust?”
I knew, without reservation, that Nora was right. Everly, Nora, and I had been a tight-knit group for years, and the circle of trust was the cornerstone of our friendship. Sophie fit in with us like a puzzle piece we hadn’t realized was missing.
“I agree.” I put my drink down and extended my arms to clasp each of their hands, forming a circle.
“The circle of trust is sacred,” Nora said. “What we share in the circle stays in the circle.”
“And it’s a no judgment space,” I added.
“Mostly,” Nora said. “If one of us is being an idiot, I’m going to be honest about it. And I expect you all to do the same for me.”
“Fair point.”
Sophie held our hands and nibbled on her bottom lip. “I don’t know what to say. This feels like such an important moment.”
“It is.” Nora squeezed, then let go. She dropped a slice of lime into Sophie’s drink and handed it to her. “Okay, Hazel. Circle of trust. Tell us everything.”
I recounted the events of the previous evening. How I’d stayed late. How Corban had surprised me in the copy room. My shirt buttons and his subsequent reaction. And my ill-advised acceptance—no, encouragement—of his advances.
“Oh my god.” Nora fanned herself. “He just bent you over the table and took you. That’s so hot.”
Sophie grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled on it as if trying to create a breeze. “Ten out of ten, Corban. But I thought you didn’t like him.”
“I don’t,” I said quickly.
“But you were all in when he started kissing you,” Sophie said.
Nora gestured with her drink. “To be fair, you don’t have to like someone to have brutally hot sex.”
“I shouldn’t have done it.” I sank back into the couch. “But I hadn’t had an orgasm in months. Nothing has worked and there he was with his thigh between my legs and he’s an excellent kisser, which is so unfair. I threw common sense out the window. This is so unlike me.”
“It really is, but sweetie, is that such a bad thing?” Nora asked. “See, this is why we needed another opinion, because I don’t look at this situation and see a disaster. Especially if your orgasms had gone missing, which is news to me, by the way. You could have told me.”
“I know, but I assumed you’d prescribe sex—with a man, not with anything that requires batteries—and I’d already resolved that I wasn’t dating or having sexual relationships with men.”
“I probably would have,” Nora said. “And clearly, I’d have been right.”
I scowled at her.
“Okay, let’s look at this logically,” Sophie said. “The sex was consensual, so that’s not the problem.”
“Correct.”
“The problem is that you don’t like Corban.”
“He’s my nemesis.”
Sophie nodded. “And now that you’ve slept together, things are going to be awkward at work.”
I took a deep breath. “We didn’t just sleep together. We gave in to our most primal urges in a completely inappropriate time and place.”
Nora lifted her drink. “Hell yes, girl.”
“What if someone had walked by?” I asked, ignoring Nora’s enthusiasm. “What if we’d been caught? We could have both lost our jobs.”
“At least he didn’t bend you over the copy machine and you accidentally hit start and it made a hundred copies of your boobs,” Sophie said.
Nora and I looked at her.
“Not that something like that has ever happened to me,” she said quickly. “Not exactly, at least.”
“I still don’t think this is a bake-enough-carbs-to-feed-an-army crisis,” Nora said. “Yes, you gave in to your lust-filled urges, and yes, it was at work. I know that sort of semi-dangerous sexual adventure isn’t typical for you. But maybe that’s exactly what you needed. How was the orgasm?”
My shoulders slumped with a heavy sigh I couldn’t contain. “Unbelievable.”
Nora took my now-empty glass and stood. “See? You had sex. You both enjoyed it. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”
“And you didn’t get caught,” Sophie added. “Worrying about what could have happened isn’t helping.”
“This is exactly why we needed you,” Nora said. “Thank you, Soph.”
She smiled. “My pleasure.”
“We didn’t use protection.”
Nora paused, her mouth slightly open. “Well, that’s not ideal, is it?”
“Are you on anything?” Sophie asked.
I nodded. “I stay on the pill to keep me regular. But this is what I’m talking about. It’s not just two people who had sex and it’s nothing. My behavior was reckless. A few months of sexual frustration is no excuse for throwing good judgment out the window.”
Nora went into the kitchen and came back with fresh ice in my glass. She sat back down on the couch and mixed me another drink. “Here’s what you’re going to do. Own it. Don’t walk by his office and look away, hoping you don’t make eye contact.”
“Are you sure? Because that’s what I’d like to do.”
“Nope. Own your sexuality. You did something you wanted to do, you enjoyed it while it lasted, and there’s absolutely no shame in that.”
“I agree,” Sophie said. “If you pretend it didn’t happen, it’ll only make things worse.”
Nora handed me the glass and I took a deep breath. “So you’re saying I didn’t make a terrible mistake by having sex in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong man.”
“I don’t know if he was really the wrong man,” Nora said.