After hesitating long enough for me to fully form that tempting fantasy, she rose from her seat. “I’m glad we understand each other.”
“Oh, we do.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m agreeing with you.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Were you? Because your tone of voice implied sarcasm.”
“What do you want from me, Hazel? You’re right, it was a mistake. We shouldn’t have done it.”
“And it won’t happen again.”
I shrugged. “Not unless you want it to.”
“I won’t.”
“Okay, then there’s no problem.”
She pushed her glasses up her nose. “Indeed there isn’t. I still need your conference session choices, so please email me at your earliest convenience.”
Her abrupt change of subject felt like a punch to the gut, and instantly deflated my growing erection. I turned toward my computer screen. “Sure. I’ll do that now.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t say anything else. Just waited for her to leave. She hesitated for a beat and I wondered if she was going to say more. I hoped not. Every word out of her mouth seemed to make things worse.
Finally, she opened the door and left.
Slumping in my chair, I let out a breath. Why did I feel so shitty?
It wasn’t because I wanted to fuck Hazel again. I did. I couldn’t deny it. I’d wanted her from the first time we’d met, and having her once hadn’t been enough.
But that wasn’t the problem.
The problem was, she was right to reject me. And it fucking hurt to face that.
There was a reason I was still single. A reason my own theory had never worked on me. I’d tried. I’d been through the whole questionnaire with women. Twice, about a year apart. Both times thinking we already had a spark of something at the start, and if my theory was correct, we’d fall in love.
They were both married now. But obviously not to me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have spent so much time trying to crack the code to falling in love. Maybe I should have focused on why no one could fall in love with me. I’d always been the aberrant data point. The one who didn’t fit.
Of course, that was the story of my life. I’d always been the guy who didn’t fit in.
I wasn’t going to fit with Hazel, either. It didn’t matter how she’d reacted to me physically. She didn’t want me. Didn’t like me.
I didn’t like her either.
She was stubborn. Maddening. Frustrating.
Smart. Intriguing. Sexy.
She did have the power to fuck me up on the inside and I once again wondered if Weston was right. Maybe I needed to stay away from her. Get a new job. Maybe take the one in New Jersey. I could call and tell them I’d changed my mind. Move across the country and never see Hazel again.
My phone dinged with a text from Molly. My twin. My best friend. Soon to be a mom to my first niece or nephew.
I really wanted to be around for that.
Was it a message from the universe? Great, because my life wasn’t confusing enough.
Molly: Do you want to see the creepiest thing ever?
Me: Obviously yes.
She sent a picture that, at first glance, looked like a strange dark blob. Tilting my phone a little, I realized it was an ultrasound photo.
Me: Holy shit, Moll! Is that the baby?
Molly: YES! FEAST YOUR EYES ON MY OFFSPRING!
Me: You’re right, this is creepy. Are you sure it’s normal?
Molly: Ass. Yes, all normal.
Me: Is that a second nose?
Molly: No. Only one nose. Ten fingers. Ten toes. And a vagina.
Me: Wait, what? You’re having a girl?
Molly: Yep, baby girl in there. We didn’t find out with our first ultrasound because we were going to wait. But we cracked once we were in there this time.
Me: That’s awesome, sis. Excited for you.
Molly: Thanks! How’s the job?
Me: Good.
Molly: That’s it? Good?
No, that wasn’t it. Things were complicated and confusing. But I really didn’t want talk to my sister about Hazel. She didn’t want to hear about who I had sex with, anyway.
Me: Yes, good. I like my job. They’re sending me to a conference.
Molly: Awesome!
Me: Congrats on the baby girl. Can’t wait to meet her. And tell Martin I said hi.
Molly: I will. Love you, twinkie.
Me: Love you too, weirdo.
Lunchtime came and went. I looked at the clock mid-afternoon and realized I’d forgotten to eat. No wonder my stomach was growling at me.
I went down to the staff lounge and stopped in the doorway. Hazel was the lone occupant, her lunch spread out in front of her. She had a steaming mug of tea and an open book.
“Did you forget to eat, too?” I asked.
“Not exactly. I got busy in the lab.”
I stood there awkwardly for a second. Rubbed the back of my neck. I wanted to keep talking to her, but I wasn’t sure what to say.
Miraculously, I didn’t start spewing out weird animal facts. That realization got my feet moving again. I grabbed my lunch from the fridge, ready to bolt out of there before I inevitably made things weird.
But we really needed to be able to work together. We couldn’t avoid each other. Maybe it would be better for both of us if I tried to make peace.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I marched over to her table and sat down. “Do you like babies?”
Her eyes widened behind her glasses and her eyebrows winged up her forehead. “Excuse me?”
“I don’t want to assume that because you’re a woman you must like babies. Some women don’t. I think it says something about the success of our species that the urge to procreate is no longer universal. Anyway, do you?”
“Why do you need to know if I like babies?” She leaned closer and lowered her voice. “I already told you that’s not a concern.”
I blinked. What was she talking— “Oh, no. That’s not what I meant. My sister’s having a baby and she texted me an ultrasound picture and I wasn’t sure if you’d find that interesting, so I was asking first.”
“I didn’t know you had a sister.”
“Yeah, Molly. We’re twins.”
“Oh. Yes, I like babies.”
I pulled out my phone and opened the ultrasound photo. “That weird looking blob is my niece.”
Hazel’s eyes softened and the corners of her mouth turned up slightly. She took the phone from my hand and brought it closer. “You can see her cheeks.”
“Pretty cool, huh.”
She gazed at the picture for a long moment, as if lost in thought, her expression wistful. Then she seemed to come back to herself and handed me the phone. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. Molly’s doing all the work. I just get to be the cool uncle.”
I looked at my lunch bag, wondering if I should cut my losses before Hazel and I found something to argue about. She didn’t say anything else. Maybe she just wanted me to go.
“Do you like having a twin sister?” she asked, breaking the growing silence.
“Yeah. We used to fight when we were kids, but we get along great now.”
She dipped her spoon into her yogurt. “I don’t have any siblings. But I have best friends who are like sisters.”