So, my solution… coming to this party. Turns out, I was wrong. There isn’t shit here for me. I sit on a couch in the frat house, a cup of cold beer in my hand. My friends are laughing and talking. Chicks are running around rampant with little to no clothing on just begging to be fucked, and I can’t seem to think about anything but Kennedy.
What’s she doing right now?
She has been on my mind constantly. Even when I don’t intend to think about her, I do. I worry about her, wonder how she’s coping, but I can’t bring myself to ask. It’s like the only way I know how to communicate with her is through the use of my body.
A hand lands on my shoulder, and I turn to look down at it.
“Jackson,” Crystal purrs into my ear a moment later. I’m tempted to shrug her hand off. “Are you ignoring me?” She twists her body, so her tits are brushing against my arm.
“Nope, not ignoring you. Didn’t even know you were here.” I try not to sound like a dick, but she’d know if I was interested, which I’m not.
“Well, now, you know.” She giggles, and it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I’m so annoyed, I tighten my grasp on the cup in my hand.
“Yup,” I grind out.
Talon is watching me out of the corner of his eye, probably waiting for me to explode.
“Do you want to go upstairs with me?” She leans in closer, rubbing her tits on me like a cat in heat. Her teeth graze my ear, and I’ve had enough. This feels wrong, all fucking wrong. I jump up off the couch, sloshing some of the beer out of my cup in the process.
I can feel everyone in our small circle gawking at me, and I need to get the fuck out of here. This isn’t where I want to be, and these aren’t the people I want to be with right now.
“I’m leaving, man,” I tell Talon, who has some chick sitting on his lap. She’s grinding her ass against his groin so I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t hear me.
“You sure?” he asks, surprising me.
“Yeah, are you sure you want to leave so soon?” Crystal pouts, leaning against the couch, giving me a full view of her cleavage, which is bursting from her V-neck shirt. All I can do is shake my head.
“I’m not interested,” I growl.
Turning away from them, I don’t say anything else and walk out of the room. On the way out, I toss my half drank beer onto the lawn, right along with the cup. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I check the time, wondering if Kennedy is still awake. I could call her, but what would be the fun in that?
Taking the chance that she is, I get in my car and drive over to her place. I find a parking spot and then walk inside. By the time I reach her door, I’m only second-guessing myself a little bit about coming here. I’m still angry, and I’ll always be sad, but like my mother told me, she lost Jillian that night too. Maybe we can be sad and angry together for a while?
Knocking on her door, I wait impatiently to see her beautiful face. I never thought I would be able to look at her, see her scar, without seeing Jillian dead, but the pain has eased each day since I decided to stop holding onto it.
Time ticks by slowly, and I tug my phone out to call her just as the lock disengages, and the door clicks open.
“Oh, hey,” Kennedy gives me a tight-lipped smile.
She looks tired, and for a second, I consider asking her if she’s sleeping at night. Am I ready to insert myself more into her life? To show I care?
“Is everything okay?” she asks when I don’t say anything.
“Uh, yeah. I was just wondering if you wanted to go out for a late dinner or something?”
Her eyes go wide with shock and her pink lips purse together. I’m tempted to kiss and nibble on them, but for now, I’m content just watching her lips move as she talks.
“Are you sure?” she asks, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.
“No, not really. This might be a terrible idea,” I tell her honestly. “I was just at a party, but I kind of got tired of the people there, so I left and came here.”
“I don’t know about going out,” she says as she shifts her legs nervously. “I’d rather stay in and eat or watch a movie or something.”
If she was any other girl, I’d think she was trying to get me to have sex with her. But knowing how she is, I truly believe her. Since she’s been here at Blackthorn, she hasn’t been anywhere apart from campus, her apartment, and the one-time trip to the pits. She doesn’t go out to eat, to movies, or parties. Hell, she doesn’t even like to ride in the car.
“Would you be okay riding in the car with me to my place? We can pick up some takeout on the way.” Again, shock colors her features, she visibly pales, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s because she is anxious about going out or if she is actually scared to come with me. After a moment, she eases my mind by nodding her head.
“Sure, I’ll ride in the car with you. Let me put my shoes on and get my jacket.” She disappears from my view for a few moments and reappears dressed and ready. She locks the door behind her, and we walk down the stairs together.
When we get to my car, I can see how nervous she is. Was she this nervous last time? I think I was too riled up to pay attention then. Again, I’m taken aback by how much the accident continues to affect her and how much I ignored the signs before.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I need to stop avoiding this. I can’t expect my parents to drive me around for the rest of my life, plus, never going anywhere in a car is unrealistic.” She opens the door on her side and slides into the passenger seat while I get into the driver’s seat.
“I didn’t know it bothered you that much to ride in cars. Have you driven since…” I can’t even say it out loud.
“No, and I won’t. I’m not ready. I tried once and had the biggest panic attack of my life. I’d rather walk everywhere. It’s really not that bad… walking, I mean. Exercise, you know.”
I nod, knowing that she is just trying to reason with her idea of walking everywhere. I turn on the car and watch her out of the corner of my eye as she quickly straps her seatbelt in place.
“I’ll drive slow,” I assure her as I pull out of the parking spot.
Her body is rigged as I drive, only relaxing a little when we make a quick stop at the drive-through fast food place. I order for both of us, surprising myself by remembering what she likes. When I look over to confirm I got it right, she gives me a little smile and nods her head.
I pay for both of us, and the lady hands us two bags of food through the window. As I pull back out of the parking lot, I hear a deep rumbling noise.
“Was that your stomach growling?”
“I guess I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I smelled this deliciousness.” Kennedy’s giggles fill the car. A sound I haven’t heard in a very long time. Listening to Crystal’s giggle earlier made me cringe, but hearing Kennedy do it makes me smile.
“Jesus, start eating some French fries before your stomach makes that sound again, and I go deaf.” Her giggles turn into a full-on laugh, and I can’t help but laugh with her.
“Fine, I’ll eat some on the way, since you’re making me.” She opens the bag and starts picking out fries one by one, nibbling on them in an adorable way.