My brows dip, and my face splits into a frown. No. That can’t be possible. Why would he do that? How would that benefit him in any way, having me out of there?
That’s when it really hits me.
Baz owns me.
There’s no gentler way to put it. He’s in charge of everything that pertains to me. The second I get out of line for him, I can find myself back inside that nuthouse just as quickly as I landed there before. The thought alone sends a violent chill down my spine.
Frustration brings tears to my eyes because this is the one time, no matter what, that I won’t be able to fight him. The last time I went to visit him in his office, he made it seem like we weren’t done, like we’d never be done. And now I understand why. He holds the keys to the kingdom. My entire life is laid out in the palm of his hand.
“Thanks for nothing,” I grit out, before I hang up and toss my phone far away from me. All that device has done lately is bring me bad news anyway. Panic and melancholy ebb and flow through my chest. I drop my head into my hands, trying to breathe through the sharp pang of betrayal that’s shooting down the center of my chest, filling the cavity with ice.
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
My breath catches, and I freeze at the sound of the voice. Slamming my eyes shut, I count to five in my head, telling myself I’m imagining it. There’s no way. Not after all this time.
“Are you really going to sit there and pretend I’m not here?”
I choke on a sob when I hear it again. This time, I force my eyes open and spot Madison leaning against the wall, watching me. I rub vigorously at my temples, trying to make it go away because this can’t be. I have to be dreaming or imagining this. As if mirroring me, her hair is blond now, just like it always has been. I’m not sure what’s real and what isn’t anymore.
My chest expands with emotion, and my body is trembling.
“You’re not real.”
“I am. And I told you to move on. So yeah, guess not much has changed. You still don’t listen well.”
“Mads?” I choke out.
She pushes off the wall and crosses the room, stopping at my side. I swear, when she lowers herself onto the mattress, I feel the bed dip beneath her. When her eyes meet mine, I feel the first tear slip free. My chin wobbles as I take her in, my gaze eating up every piece of her. There’s a moment when we stare at one another, eye to eye, and it’s like staring back into a time warp of our childhood. Her face looks just like mine, but like with every set of twins, there are minor differences.
“Shh. No more crying,” she breathes out, pulling me into her embrace. Surprise flits through my body, and I fall into her arms, holding onto her as if she’s going to disappear without a moment’s notice. I don’t want her to leave again. I wouldn’t be able to handle it a second time around.
“Tell me what to do,” I whisper into her hair that’s soft as silk.
“You either keep fighting or finally let this go.”
“I can’t let this go.”
“Then you know what you have to do.”
We fall back onto the bed, and I spend the rest of the night allowing my dead sister to run her fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.
I jolt awake at the sensation of someone shaking my shoulder. Shifting on the bed, I turn around, coming face to face with Vera. She’s staring down at me, a concerned look on her face. “Hey, babe. You must’ve conked out. Kat wanted me to stay with you today. She has a shoot.”
I push up in bed, resting my back against the headboard, and glance around the entirety of the room, checking to see if Madison is still here. She’s obviously not.
“Want to get some breakfast and talk?”
I grimace at the idea. I know I need to eat, but the idea of heading out into the public eye, with people who are currently out to get me with pitchforks—yeah, that doesn’t seem like the best idea.
“I don’t want to deal with anyone today, Vera. I’ll pass.”
“You’re probably right.” She sighs, sitting next to me. “Why don’t I call the driver and have him bring us something? Eggs benedict with mimosas?”
I almost roll my eyes at how rich and snobby that whole sentence sounded, but instead, a dry laugh escapes. “Oh, how I’ve missed you, Vera.”
Now she’s the one who rolls her eyes. “Shut it and take a shower, Kenz. You stink.”
I don’t even take offense to her comment. I’m sure she’s probably right.
After a much-needed warm shower, I get a whiff of the delicious smell of breakfast and head into Kat’s kitchen. Vera has everything laid out on the counter, and she’s already plating the food for us. Even though everything looks so good and smells so good, I’m in such a perpetual funk that when I sit down to dig in, I can’t enjoy it. I push around the food on my plate, my mind thinking about all the things I wish I could forget.
“I hate seeing you like this. I can’t tell if it’s because of him, the assholes online, or the fact they’re walking away without so much as a slap on the wrist for what they’ve done to you.”
“It’s everything.” But it’s mostly Baz. I don’t say that, though. Admitting it out loud is admitting defeat.
I’ve had five days to come to terms with his truth, and I can’t seem to. He lied to me. If he lied about this, he could be lying about everything else. I don’t actually believe he could’ve killed Madison. There’s nothing in our past that would suggest it. But what if Vincent did? Or Trent? Maybe even Zach? I’m not sure about Marcus anymore, either. His timeline seems to steer clear and coincide with Baz’s.
The big question I now have is: What really happened that night? So, what if Baz and Marcus were gone? That left three of them there around the night of her death. They could’ve easily come up with a lie to help cover for each other.
Part of me wants to keep digging, while the other part of me wants to give up and find that life and that happiness I’ve been so desperately seeking. I’m tired of learning the truth of things, only to have it break my heart even further.
“Do you believe him? That he didn’t do it?”
I shrug. “Part of me does. But I still don’t trust him. What if he’s lying for them to protect them?”
“What if he isn’t lying? What if all of this is the truth?”
I shoot her a dry look, and she laughs, pointing at me with her fork. “Okay. Dumb thing to say. I know. But I guess what I’m getting at is, how would you know if he’s lying or not? I’m not condoning any more lying, but maybe, keeping your enemies close and all that jazz right now isn’t the dumbest thing you could do.”
My brows jump into my hairline. This is exactly what I was thinking earlier, but it felt wrong to deceive him like that again. Though he’s been doing the same to me, hasn’t he? Why is this any different? Kat would hate this idea. Hell, that’s why I’m so surprised Vera mentioned it at all. She’s like the devil on my shoulder, appealing to the thoughts that have already been swirling there, begging to be noticed.
“He’s too smart to fall for that again. He’d never believe I’d go crawling back, not after everything that has happened.”