He scrubbed a hand over his face. He’d gotten that feeling too. “So should I call her?”
“Yeah, but not tonight. She needs to process this in her own time and she’s probably asleep now anyway.”
He scowled. “That’s not very helpful at all.”
“Please, I am a wealth of wisdom.”
Despite his dark mood he found himself laughing lightly. “Is that what you tell Roman?”
“Every single day I remind him how awesome I am.” Grinning, she took a sip of her eggnog and leaned back.
He shook his head even as that knot twisted in his gut. Damn, he missed Grace already. But Taylor was right—he wasn’t going to call her tonight. He would text her though, tell her he was thinking about her.
And the next time he saw her, he was going to make it clear that he did love her. He was pretty sure he’d already shown her, she just needed to believe it. And baby or not, he loved her and wasn’t walking away. That wasn’t changing. He loved everything about her. As far as a baby? He wasn’t sure how he felt. And yeah, he figured that was ironic. Grace didn’t know how she felt either so of course she would need time to wrap her head around it.
Though he wanted to call her, to push to see her, he held off. He could give her a little space. For now.
Chapter 22
She wasn’t pregnant!
Grace wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Or at least from her front porch. She’d texted Logan minutes ago as she left her OB’s office telling him she wanted to talk to him in person whenever he was free.
They hadn’t talked since their belated Christmas party, which, granted, was only two and a half days ago, but it was Monday afternoon and she missed him. And she felt bad for the way she’d reacted.
She’d kept expecting him to call but maybe he’d had to work. She thought Mr. Christiansen had let him off for a while but maybe he’d been called in. Or maybe he was giving her the space she’d asked for. Ugh. Now she wished she’d never asked for it.
Either way, the relief pulsing through her right now was incredible. She wasn’t ready to think about having a baby and all that entailed. She and Logan had literally just started a relationship.
Or maybe they didn’t even have one anymore. She hadn’t left things on great terms, so who knew at this point? He’d told her he loved her and she’d practically thrown it in his face, unwilling to believe him. At that thought, her brief moment of joy was doused.
But when she turned into her driveway and saw Logan’s borrowed truck there, surprise jumped inside her.
She was so happy to see him. Always. And she was always thinking about him. No matter what, it was like he was hanging out in the back of her mind, this wonderful man she didn’t know what she’d done to deserve. She just hoped she hadn’t pushed him away with her fear.
She quickly threw her car into park and jumped out.
He stepped out of the truck in jeans and a black sweater, looking good enough to eat as usual. He clearly hadn’t shaved since Friday and had some serious scruff that somehow made him look even sexier. He wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t look angry either. That had to be a good thing.
“I’m not pregnant,” she blurted as he shut his door behind him. “I wanted to tell you in person.”
He looked mildly surprised as he approached her. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I don’t know how I feel about that. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been sad if you had been. And I figure this is the kind of thing I need to be honest about. I’m not ready for kids right now but if you’d been pregnant, then we would have made it work.”
Now it was her turn to blink in surprise. “I’m not ready for kids, just FYI. I want them eventually, but for now it’s too soon for me.”
He stood a foot in front of her, looking nervous, and she hated that.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted at the same time he said the exact same thing.
Just like that, it was as if the tension eased out of both of them.
“Look, I really am sorry about Friday,” she continued. “And I feel like a lunatic for leaving like that. I was just having a really hard time processing everything, and it turns out I didn’t really handle the whole attempted murder thing too well.” She hadn’t been sleeping at all because of it. She’d wanted to reach out to him, but had been too afraid of rejection.
His expression softened slightly and he stepped closer, gently putting one of his big hands on her hip in a possessive way she melted at. Okay, so maybe she hadn’t screwed things up between them.
“I kind of figured it was going to take a while for you to adjust to everything. Did you have nightmares?”
She nodded. “I kept dreaming that we were running, but this time the monster caught up with us.” She shuddered at the remnants of the nightmares still lingering inside her. “I know time will make it better but it sucks right now. I don’t know how you dealt with… Well, all you’ve dealt with.” Because she wasn’t sure what he’d gone through overseas. Not exactly.
“Therapy,” he said, all serious. “I talked to someone for about a year after I got home. And before we go any further I need to say something. I’m sorry I basically told you that we were getting married instead of actually asking. When I’ve thought about proposing to you—”
“What?”
He didn’t smile as she expected him to. Instead his expression remained serious, his dark eyes pinned to hers. “Yes, I’ve thought about proposing. Not in the near future, but this is serious for me. Apparently I haven’t been as forthcoming as I should have been. I thought giving you time to adjust to us dating was the smart thing to do, considering the way things ended with your asshole ex. But I’m serious about you, Grace. I see a future with you. And I love you. I didn’t just say that because you thought you might be pregnant. I do love you. I’ve known that for months.”
She stared up at him in shock, her heart expanding. “I—”
He gently flexed his hand on her hip, his expression softening just a bit. “You don’t have to say it just because I did.”
“I know. But I do love you. I’ve been denying it even to myself for a while. I feel like a mess sometimes, like I’m never going to get that happy ending other people get. But I love you so much, Logan.” It felt liberating to say the words.
He cupped her cheek with one hand. “Why don’t you think you deserve a happy ending?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him. “I know I deserve it just as much as anyone else. I guess I’m just afraid it’s not going to happen for me.”
“Well I’m not walking away from you, Grace. If you’re not serious about me, you need to tell me right now.”
She tightened her grip around him. “I just said that I love you.”
His lips kicked up, the mischievous Logan she knew well in full view. “I know. I just wanted to hear you say it again.”
All the tension inside her eased. “Was this our first argument?”
“I think so. But I also think making up will be—”