“I thought you knew. I figured he walked right back inside.” I shook my head because it was the only logical explanation I had.
“He didn’t come back in until enough time had passed that I had lost my damn mind.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Because he wants me off my game. He wants my position. He knew this was the only way to get it. Through you,” he explained, and my heart started pounding.
What did I have to do with any of that?
“I didn’t mean to say what I did at the party about him using you. I mean, I meant to say it, just not in front of everyone. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” he apologized, but I wasn’t mad about that. At least, I’d stopped being mad at him once I realized that he was right.
“I was a little embarrassed. But I’d never seen you like that before, so I knew there was something serious going on.”
“I shouldn’t have done that though. Not in front of everyone, but it was killing me to see him touching you. I wanted to rip his limbs off, so he couldn’t ever do it again.” Cole sounded so sincere that I couldn’t help but believe him.
“Why was it killing you?” I asked, so desperate to hear the answer that I could practically taste it on my tongue.
“Because you’re mine, Christina. You’ve always been mine. And everyone knows it.” He squeezed his eyes closed before staring at our hands.
“But I’m not yours. You won’t let me be,” I started to argue, but he leaned over and stopped my words with his mouth.
His tongue pressed against my bottom lip, and I hesitated before letting him in. His lips apologized, his kiss spilling all of his feelings and emotions into me, and I took them without hesitation. I wanted everything Cole was willing to give in this moment even though I shouldn’t.
“You’re mine,” he whispered against me, his breath warm. “At least, I hope you are. Because I’m yours. And I always have been too.” He looked into my eyes like he was searching for a truth hidden in there. “It’s only fair that we belong to each other, don’t you think?” he asked with an unsure smirk.
My heart leaped into my throat, begging for me to say yes, but my brain flashed warning signals like a train was coming.
“Is this a game? Some sort of trick?”
He leaned away from me, his expression revealing that he had expected me to ask exactly that. “No. I mean it. I mean every word. I have so many things I need to say to you. So many things to apologize for. I don’t know where to start.” He looked so frustrated, his brow creasing. “I knew I should have made a list.”
I laughed. Because I wanted to ease the tension that was building and because it was so damn cute to see him so flustered over me for once. “Lists are always helpful.”
He looked me in the eyes and asked, “What are you thinking?”
I sucked in a breath and chose honesty. “I was just wondering, why now? Nothing’s changed,” I asked because the cold, hard truth was that nothing about our situations had altered in the slightest. It made no sense for his mind to have switched.
His head shook like I couldn’t be more wrong. “Everything’s changed. I’ve been living my life for one thing for so long that I didn’t know any other way to live.”
“But you do now?”
“Not even a little bit.” He let out a guttural laugh. “But I want to try with you.”
I folded my hands in my lap. “But why? Why now? Why me?”
He wasn’t offended by my questions, but he looked unsure of how to respond to them. We both stayed quiet, soaking in the moments while I waited for him to say something.
“I realized that nothing works if you aren’t with me. My hitting didn’t start to really suffer until I tried to force you out of my life for good. It was stupid. It was wrong.” He pushed up from the couch again and started slowly pacing in front of me. He tossed his hat to the floor and tugged at his hair. “I thought I was getting some kind of balance by concentrating on only one aspect of my life, but it was the exact opposite. Focusing all of my time and attention on baseball created an unevenness inside of me. But I couldn’t see that. I didn’t put it together until today.”
“The game,” I said as the realization hit me like a fast ball. “That’s why you looked in the stands and pointed your helmet at me.” He nodded as another question popped into my mind, “So, you’re using me for your batting average?” I asked, half-joking and half-serious.
He had just said that his hitting suffered once he left me. What if he only wants me around to get it back on track? What if I’m basically just good for business?
“No, Christina. I’m not using you. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I want you.”
“What are you saying, Cole? I need to hear it. I need to hear you say it out loud.”
“I do too,” Lauren shouted from her room.
I yelled at her to close her door. She grunted before slamming it shut, and Cole and I both smiled.
“I’m asking for a chance.” He lowered himself in between my legs, his large frame sitting right in the dead center of my universe. “I sure as hell don’t deserve it, but I promise I won’t ruin it. I won’t be perfect, but I’m going to try. I have a lot to learn, but please don’t give up on me.”
Part of me knew I should make him beg harder or grovel more, but nothing erased the fact that we deserved a chance at being together. It was the one thing I’d always wanted ever since I first met him during our freshman year. And I refused to throw away the opportunity because of my pride or to prove some sort of moot point.
“You really want to do this?”
“If you’ll have me,” he said, sounding unsure of what I’d say in response. When I didn’t say anything, he added, “I am sorry it took me so long.”
I leaned forward and shut him up with my lips this time. Kissing Cole was something that was way too easy to get used to. I could get lost in those lips if I allowed myself … but first, logic.
I pulled away, breaking the kiss. “I need you to leave.”
“Wait, what?” He pushed to his feet, his full frame towering over me.
“It’s just …” I formulated my thoughts. “I need to make sure this isn’t some heat-of-the-moment kind of thing because of Logan. I need to know that you’ll still mean all this in the morning.”
He reached for my hands and pulled me up. “I will still mean all this in the morning.”
“Good. Then, you can tell me all this again then.” I held a hand toward the front door, expecting him to take the hint.
“You’re serious?”
“I am,” I said. “I need to make sure you still feel the same way when you open your eyes tomorrow.”
“I will,” he said, his tone filled with determination as he leaned down to pick up his hat before heading toward the door.
“Okay,” I said, my tone clearly skeptical. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“No.” He stopped walking. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pulled out his phone and looked down at it. “Be ready by eleven.”