My man was throwing all sorts of difficult questions at me, and I honestly had no answer. He did have a point, though.
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t like that there’s a part of you I can’t reach anymore. I don’t want you to hold back with me.”
I pouted. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more open.”
He kissed the side of my neck, feathering his lips up to my ear. “Good. Because I want my wife back in her sunny disposition. You’ve been down long enough.”
Ouch. He was right, but still... ouch.
I wanted to be a better wife; at the moment, I just wasn’t sure how to go about it.
I didn’t sleep well that night, just tossed and turned for hours, thinking about us, about why I was now holding my cards to my chest.
As a friend, I’d talked his ear off about everything (including details he hadn’t wanted to know, I was sure of it). As his wife, it was as if I was afraid he might love me less if I laid out all my fears and insecurities.
When we woke up in the morning, we discovered the pipes in the kitchen had broken. As if we didn’t already have enough on our plate.
“This is a mess,” he said, just as he was about to leave for work.
“I agree. I’ll call a plumbing company right away, but we might have to move into a hotel while they’re working.”
“Let’s do that.”
“I’ll pack us things for a few days. I can manage everything before we have to go to the function tonight.”
“You’re amazing. By the way, I’m meeting a lawyer friend today. I can ask him if he has an opening at his firm.”
“It’s fine. I’m going to send more applications today.”
“I can ask a headhunter friend to arrange—”
“Hunter, it’s okay. Really.”
“I just want to help.” He sounded resigned. Damn. I was doing it again... pushing him away. I fiddled with my thumbs, biting the inside of my cheek. I wasn’t used to being at odds with him. I’d been irritated for weeks, and I just couldn’t seem to be able to get out of that state of mind.
“Have a great day,” I said, in an attempt to smooth things over, but he just shook his head.
After he left, I went through my usual routine. I also called a professional firm to deal with the pipes. They arrived within the hour and assessed the damage, informing me that repair work would most likely last four days. The hotel next to the venue where the event tonight took place was fully booked, so I made reservations at a hotel near Hunter’s office, packed our bags and moved us there all before lunch.
In the afternoon, I started preparing for the function. I wasn’t as excited as usual. I was a social butterfly, always had been, but I dreaded having to consciously keep the conversations from circling to my job... or lack thereof. Since I’d been five, I’d known I wanted to be a lawyer. I’d worked so hard for my career that without it, I felt as if part of my personality had been ripped away.
Hunter arrived at the hotel shortly before we were supposed to leave and came into the room as I put the finishing touches on my hair.
“You look gorgeous,” he said.
He stood behind me, glancing in the mirror. My husband was beautiful no matter what he wore, but Hunter in a tuxedo definitely took the cake. I was happy to see him smiling again after the way we’d parted this morning.
“I like getting ready for these functions. Even though it takes me so long. Good thing I have some time on my hands now.”
I’d spent two hours dressing up, applying makeup and doing my hair, but now I wanted to leave the hotel even less than a few minutes ago. Biting my lip, I looked at him while he was putting on his tie. When he glanced at his phone, informing me that our driver had arrived, I finally gathered my courage.
“Hunter... would you be terribly upset if I don’t come?”
He turned toward me, his eyes brimming with worry. “Are you sick?”
“No, it’s just that... I don’t feel like making small talk or answering any job-related questions.”
“Babe, friends of mine from law firms will be there. I can introduce you—”
“I don’t want that,” I snapped, then buried my face in my hands. “I’m sorry I’m snapping at you. But I already told you this. It’s not how I want to get a job.”
“Josie, I don’t want to push, but I don’t know what to do. You need to help me out here.”
His voice was tight, betraying impatience. I looked up, swallowing.
“What do you mean?”
“Every time I come up with solutions, you just shut me down. I want to be there for you, but you just won’t let me. I feel like I’m standing outside a glass room, trying to fight my way in. I have to go. If you don’t feel like coming with me tonight, I’ll just go alone.”
“Hunter... wait. We should talk.”
He stared. “Now, you want to talk?”
It was clear that he needed it. I had no idea this had been so hard on him. I’d been too lost in my head to pay attention.
“I have to go. The car is here.” He just shook his head again, walking with quick steps toward the door. I’d forgotten the car was waiting.
“Hunter... do you want to talk when you get back? Should I stay up?”
“I don’t know, Josie. Do what’s best for you.”
I swallowed hard. Hunter walked out of the room, and then I was all alone with my thoughts.
What had he meant, Do what’s best for you?
Okay. I needed to get out of the hotel right away and clear my mind. I’d drive myself crazy if I just waited until he returned. These functions usually lasted until well after midnight. But where to go? I didn’t want to be by myself, honestly. I debated calling my sister, but she was miles away and couldn’t just jump on a plane and come here. I wished she could.
I called Tess instead. She had a cold, so she was sitting out this event.
“Hey... um, are you up for receiving a visit?”
“Holy shit. Don’t like your voice.”
I barked out a laugh. “Neither do I.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not even sure.”
“Right. That calls for some major girl time. Don’t worry, I’ve got everything you need.”
“I’ll uber to your place right away,” I said.
“I’ll have everything ready.”
I loved Tess so much. So much.
I arrived at her apartment half an hour later and walked straight into her open arms. Her nose was a little red from her cold.
“Come on. I’ll take care of you, and you can tell me what happened. If you want to. Ugh, that’s a glare. So, not going to talk about anything tonight. Just one tiny question.”
I laughed. “Tess....”
“Just one. I promise.”
“Go ahead.”
“You can answer with yes or no, and I won’t pry any further. Will just motivate the rest of the family into action. Does anyone need their ass kicked? Yes or no?”
“Yes. I think I need my ass kicked.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Hunter
I’d never wanted to leave a function as badly I wanted to bail on this one. I was going through the motions, counting down the minutes until it was acceptable to make up an excuse and leave.