“How do you know these passages so intimately?” Ky asked. I could tell by his face he was trying to work it out. When I caught sight of Styx’s dark expression, I was sure he’d already worked it out.
The room was fucking silent. My head told me to keep my mouth shut. But the time had come. The fucking time had come to speak the truth. I kept Adelita’s face in my mind. “The bitch I fell for . . . the one I left the Klan for . . .” I swallowed back the betrayal I felt, choking my throat. “It was Adelita . . . Adelita Quintana. Alfonso Quintana’s daughter.”
I tilted my chin and met Styx’s eyes straight on. I wouldn’t be ashamed. I owned that bitch.
“Shit,” Tank hissed. I turned to Tank to see shock on his face. Shock and then sympathy. “Tann . . .” He would understand. He would understand why it was as fucked-up a situation as a Klansman could get himself into.
Before anyone could speak, I said, “She doesn’t have anything to do with the cartel life. Her old man keeps her the fuck out of the business. She isn’t a threat to us. To anyone. She’s just caught up in the shitshow.” Tank put his hand on my arm, silently telling to shut the fuck up.
“She know you’re with us now?” AK asked, eyes narrowed.
I shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t know what she knows anymore.” I rocked on my feet. “She’s young. Only twenty-two. Sheltered. She’ll have no fucking idea of the danger she’s in.” My stomach tightened at that fact.
“Nice!” Vike said. “Younger woman. Tighter pussy. I get ya, man. Good choice.” The fucker winked.
“We’re at war with your family. And now your old lady,” Ky said, trailing off. He met my eyes, a question hanging in the air.
“Fuck my family,” I spat. “They can all have their throats slit for all I care.”
“And the bitch?” Bull asked.
“I’m a Hangman. I won’t jeopardize that. Take the fucking cousin. I don’t care.” I was sure the brothers heard the bullshit in my voice. Because nothing or no one was hurting Adelita. I just had to think of a fucking plan. Something to keep her safe. Someway to get her out and make her understand everything I’ve done. “But at some point, I’m getting her. I’m getting her the fuck out of Mexico and having her by my side.”
Styx looked at me. I dared him—any of them—to argue. But he just pointed at Shadow. “You get him the plans. Make sure they’re right.” Styx looked around the room, focusing on some of the brothers. “AK, Smiler, you’re going.” They nodded, excitement sparking in their eyes. “Crow, you too.” Crow smiled wide and bowed his head once. “Need someone to discreetly take out as many of these fuckers as possible.” Styx looked at Edge. “You go too.”
“Say no more,” Edge replied.
“We plan for this. We plan fucking hard. And we don’t fail. We’ve got too much to lose. We take one of theirs, we can negotiate. We don’t get leverage? We all stand a chance of going to the boatman.” Styx slammed the gavel down, and the brothers started leaving the room.
As I went to leave, Tank pulled me back. When the room was empty, he said, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
I pulled my arm back from him. “I had to keep her safe.”
Tank was pissed. I saw it in his eyes. “You still could’ve told me. We could’ve told Styx and Ky together. Figured something out. Planned to get her out.” He shook his head. “You know how that looked, just dropping a bomb like that? Quintana’s daughter, Tann?” I didn’t speak. Tank stepped closer to me. “It made you look guilty of something.”
“I don’t give a fuck.” Tank ran his hands down his face. “Never thought we’d go to war with Quintana. Never thought Adelita would ever be on the Hangmen radar. But here we fucking are. And I still intend to get her back. When this shit is all over. I’m getting her back. That’ll never change.” I didn’t wanna talk anymore. I was fucking done. “I need a smoke.”
I left Tank in church, left the clubhouse and walked to the woods. The minute I had the cover of the trees, I let my fist fly into the nearest one. My knuckles ripped open, but I didn’t stop. I hit it again, seeing Adelita’s face, Beau’s face, and the faces of all my fucking Hangmen brothers when I’d told them about Lita. I punched it and punched it until I was out of breath and blood dripped from my hand.
A twig snapped. I swung around, ready to smash in the face of whoever was here. Whoever had a death wish. Hush stood watching me, his arms folded across his chest. My balled fists relaxed. If it had been anyone else . . .
“What do you want?” I said, voice fucking rasped.
“You okay?”
I stared at Hush, at his ice-blue eyes staring me down. My mixed-race brother standing near a tree, the branch hanging low near his neck, made me think of all the fucking faceless men I’d seen swinging from nooses. The work of my old brotherhood, done to anyone who wasn’t white, who was a Klan deserter or who was an enemy to the cause.
“You didn’t tell him.” I was talking about Styx. Hush had kept my secret.
Hush raised his eyebrow. “No.” He stepped closer. Lighting up a smoke, he offered one to me. I took one and lit up, taking a long drag. “Wasn’t my story to tell,” Hush eventually said. My stomach untwisted. “Who you’re fucking ain’t my business.”
Who I’m fucking? I thought. She’s my fucking fiancée! I almost snapped. But I held it back. No one knew that. No one but me and her. Christ. At times I didn’t even know if it was still true. If she still had the scrap of a makeshift ring I’d given her. If she still even wanted me.
“We’re gonna be taking her cousin,” Hush said. I took drag after drag of my smoke, hoping the nicotine would stop the pulling feeling in my stomach. The damn rope that was coiling around my organs, tearing them apart. “Your old lady gonna forgive you for that?”
Truth was, I didn’t fucking know. But she’d already forgiven me for worse . . .
Hush flicked his smoke to the ground, standing on it to put it out. With one last silent look, he walked back toward the clubhouse. The minute he was out of sight, I slumped to the ground. Back against the tree that was now stained with my blood, I closed my eyes and let the sun that was slicing through the trees warm my face.
I thought of Adelita sitting, waiting for her cousin to marry. Having her not show. Panicking when she realized she’d been taken by the Hangmen, Valdez, or whoever the fuck else her old man had pissed off. I blew out a breath. I didn’t fucking know what to do. I didn’t know how to be in this club with all this shit hanging over me. The woman who owned my heart, now the enemy. I had to protect her, but I had to protect my club too. And then there was my brother, my fucking little brother . . .
Needing something to think of that wasn’t this shit, I let the sun heat my face and thought back to Adelita. To the days when she made me lose my mind. The days when she started knocking down walls I thought would never be destroyed . . . especially by someone like her . . .
I sipped at my water. I needed whiskey like I was a damn alcoholic, but I hadn’t touched liquor since we’d arrived here a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t trust anyone here. Not fucking one of them. I was keeping my head straight, my eyes clear.