But lately I’ve been giving a fuck. I hear her pad across the bathroom upstairs. She’s not a quiet little thing. Not in the least. The thought makes me smile until I hear the ping from my phone.
I scowl looking down as my blood heats.
You don’t have a choice.
Pissed. If I had less restraint, I’d hurl the fucking phone into the wall and scream out. Instead I calmly set it on the desk, staring at the phone and thinking of all the ways I’d love to kill him. I could have strangled him in his sleep. So many times I wanted to. I should have. Leaving that sick fuck alive was a mistake.
My desktop computer is still alive with light. With the sun setting and the thick curtains nearly closed shut, the study is dark. The faint glow of the computer draws me to it, back to the email Zander sent me.
If you’d like to chat, you can reach me here.
-Z
It’s the third time he’s reached out to me.
He’s yet to be straight with me and I don’t fucking trust him. I don’t trust anyone.
My eyes dart to the ceiling as a thump followed by another thump tells me Lilly is up to something. I’m not sure what she’s getting into but I’m sure she’ll be enjoying herself.
I have no one, I never have, but right now I need someone on my side. I need to protect Lilly. My fingers pick at my bottom lip. They itch for a glass of whiskey, to drown out the problems pestering me. The men behind the scenes of crime each reaching out to me, each wanting me for something. But not with her here. I can’t do that to her.
My phone pings again and I don’t even have to get up or even touch the phone to see the message.
Answer me!
I feel the grin grow on my face. He never did enjoy being ignored. Fucking prick can go fuck himself.
We had a deal, I take the fall and I get the fuck out of the familia. What happened to loyalty? I clenched my teeth and bite back my anger, finally doing the sane thing and silencing the cell phone.
I toss my cell phone back onto the desk, rising from my seat and ignoring my past.
Zander, my familia … I can deal with them later. I leave the study, slamming the door shut behind me.
“Lilly!” I call out for my flower. For my beautiful distraction.
As I make it up the stairway, I see her scrambling out of her room. I’ve never called for her like this before. When she catches sight of my anger, she falls to the floor and into a perfect bow. A beautiful display of submission.
Her wet hair is sticking to her face and lying on the wooden floor of the hall way.
I climb up the last few steps and walk slowly to her, watching as her chest rises and falls. She thinks she’s in trouble. My lips kick up into a smirk as she trembles slightly on the ground.
“What were you doing?” I ask her with a bit of humor in my voice.
She answers clearly and quickly, “I was trying to rearrange something.” My brow furrows as I lower myself to the floor and cup her chin in my hand.
As I bring her lips up to mine, her body stays still, just as she should.
I plant a small kiss on her lips before searching her eyes. “Rearrange what?”
She swallows thickly. “I wanted to move the bed.” I wait for more. At my silence, she adds, “so it was across from the mirror.” Her answer and the bright blush in her cheeks makes me smile.
My flower. Ever the perfect distraction.
I rise, leaving her where she is and slowly taking off the worn leather belt. I let it slip through each loop on my pants slowly. “Did you ask permission?” I ask her. My voice is low and threatening. The punishment voice.
Her pupils dilate with lust as she shakes her head. “No sir.”
I hold the belt in my one hand, feeling my cock harden, “get on all fours, now.”
The belt cracks against her skin again. “Ten!” Lilly cries out. Her hands braced on the floor, her ass in the air. She’s hanging over the edge of the bed, half on. half off. I run my hands down her trembling thighs and back up to her hot pussy. She soaking wet for me.
“You asked for this.” I tell her, dropping the belt on her bed.
Lilly moans before answering, “yes sir.” I’ve learned she needs this, she doesn’t have many punishments anymore. What used to be a method of conditioning. A tool for her training. Has now become the reward. And I’m more than happy to give it to her. I need it too.
I brush my fingers along her folds, ready to pleasure her. But I stop when I see how red and swollen she is. I’ve been using her often and my touch is rough. It’s not surprising that she’s sore.
As I run my fingers from her entrance to her clit, I wait for her to tell me, but she doesn’t. Her forehead pinches and she bites into her bottom lip. I do it again and she closes her eyes tight, but still she doesn’t tell me I’m hurting her. It makes me angry. All this time and she still doesn’t talk to me. She wants me to open up to her, but she can’t even tell me when I’m hurting her? I close my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. She’ll learn, I know she will. She’s almost as stubborn as me, but I’ll teach her.
“Get on all fours,” I tell her as I unbuttoned my pants. I’m still waiting as I get behind her. Putting trust in the fact that she knows to tell me and if nothing else she has a safe word. But she never utters it.
“You asked for a safeword Lilly,” I admonish her, placing my hand on her lower back. “But you’re not even using it.” She stills and looks back over her shoulder at me with frightened eyes. She realizes she’s disappointed me. I leave her to grab the oil, and she gets up from her position ready to protest. Her soft voice apologizing.
She’s breathing frantically until she sees the ointment in my hand.
This’ll make her feel better.
“Did I tell you to move?” I asked her.
Lilly’s quick to get back into position, “no sir,” she breathes. The oil is cool on my fingers, I warm it for a moment, massaging it between my hands before pressing my hand against her pussy. She winces for a moment, sucking a breath between her teeth.
I tell her as I massage her hot cunt, “I don’t want to hurt you. If you desire pain, I’ll give it to you in a way that’s acceptable. But never like this.” Her eyes close as I speak. She should know better. I don’t want to injure her. I can give her what she craves in other ways.
“I’m sorry sir,” she whispers her apology. “I just want to please you.”
“You already do.”
I move my fingers and spread the oil to her puckered hole, gently pressing my finger into her tight ring. My other hand is placed on her lower back as her mouth gapes from the sudden intrusion and she nearly pushes away from me.
“Push back my flower.” Her back curves as she obeys me, my fingers sliding farther in.
There’s not an inch of her that I won’t claim. But only when she’s ready.
Chapter 21
Lilly
I lay in my plush bed, staring up at the ceiling, my breasts gently rising and then falling with each breath. I can’t stop thinking about Joseph. All the things he’s gone through. The terrible life he’s had.
I feel for him.
I wish I could be there for him. But he won’t let me. I grab my blue pillow I brought from home and hug it against my chest.