The only constant was the fighting between my parents, and when that came to a halt with her death, there was only silence for a short time. And then my father started with me.
“One mistake and you’re ruined,” he’d tell me all the time. I was to be perfect. Just like my mother was supposed to be.
I was good where my mother failed. I enjoyed charming people. I liked getting a reaction from them. I liked for them to see the boy I wanted to be, and not the hollow shell I became.
It’s less amusing now, but it’s vital to my survival.
Father taught me well.
My phone pings with a message at the thought and I’m slow to pull it out, even though my fingers are already wrapped around it.
When I finally take my eyes from the tombstone to look at it, a text from my father stares back at me.
Dinner on the 7th for the gala. You need to be there.
A grunt leaves me and I roll my eyes as I ignore it. I already know about the event. I’ll be there just like I always am.
“He’s still the same,” I tell my mother as if she can hear me. I don’t even remember why I came today. Some days just take me here. Usually when I’m not paying attention, or looking for a moment to think.
My father needs me now more than ever. As he grows old and his influence is waning, he’s relying on me to a greater extent. I don’t mind it. In my mind, I’ve always needed to step up. If only I had back then.
But this constant bitching and reminding me is unnecessary. I swipe away the text.
I nearly shove my phone back into my coat pocket, ready to shield my bare hands from the wind, but the picture of her is on my screen. Arianna Owens.
And with those gorgeous eyes staring back at me, I’m reminded of the last thing I care to remember. My mistake. Danny Brooks. I stare at my phone in my hand, the dim glow lighting the darkened sky. Isaac looked her up and gave me her information. Arianna Owens. I suppose in a way, she reminds me of my mother. There’s a sadness there. Something that haunts her. She makes me feel like she needs to be saved.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling ridiculous. “This is your fault,” I say out loud, my voice drowned out by the harsh gusts of the wind.
She’s beautiful, but her gorgeous eyes are haunted by something, darkened by what lies behind them.
I’m still enraged that Brooks offered me a month with her in exchange for a debt of hundreds of thousands that he owes me. The only claim he has to her is the collar around her neck.
My dick hardens at the thought of her on her knees, giving herself to me, pleasing me. I’ve been tempted before at the club, though I’ve never taken part. At least not in the open like that. These men are foolish to show their cards. My good friend Lucian paid the price years ago. Although now it’s paid off for him, the burden of his past only goes to show that NDAs are nothing more than paperwork. They have no loyalty to them, merely sheets of paper; so easily shredded, so quickly forgotten.
Arianna’s haunted eyes shine through the screen, staring back at me. I’ve seen her before. I’ve watched the way he drags her through the halls and leads her to the dungeon. She’s submissive in her nature, but I don’t trust her or his offer. I don’t let anyone close for a reason.
And women make men fall.
I pull the jacket tighter around me and shove the phone back into my pocket.
I should stay away. I should take the money and let him fall on his own, carrying on with my life and ignoring the pathetic waste of life that is Danny Brooks.
But those eyes call to me. My contempt for him and what he represents make a side of me I try to keep suppressed rise to the surface.
And that’s a very dangerous thing.
Chapter 6
Arianna
You’re going up for auction.
Danny’s words run through my mind as I scrub at the spaghetti-stained plate vigorously, my eyes unfocused as I stare straight ahead into the wall, the rough Brillo pad digging into my soft skin. I’ve been at this for hours now, cleaning piles of dirty dishes after a day of hard work at the local shelter.
It was a packed house today, causing more chores to be done at closing. This job pays shit, but I don’t mind. I couldn't care less about the money. It’s about giving back and making my life have meaning. Coming here has always been my therapy, a way to escape my emotions. It’s been cathartic for me to help people who are down on their luck, and it eases some of the guilt that plagues me.
But not today.
I scrub the plate harder, a mix of pain and anger running through my body. The whip marks are a mess of bruises along my back and thighs, and each small movement is accompanied with a hint of pain. It's a reminder that I’m alive, that I can feel.
I haven’t been able to get my mind off Danny for more than a minute.
Even now, I can’t believe what he said to me. That he’s willing to put me up for auction like I’m just a commodity that can be bartered or sold at whim. And after everything we’ve been through. After everything he’s done for me. All because I’ve been unhappy with our sessions. But I am broken. Something’s changed, and I know I’m unhappy. What used to work isn’t helping me anymore.
I suck in a painful breath as I look down at the plate that I’m scrubbing. The red stains are clinging stubbornly to the surface. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get them out. Just like how dark memories cling to me, sticking in my mind no matter how hard I try to rid myself of them.
If I could just forget. I drop the plate into the suds and let it fall to the bottom of the basin. My fingertips are pruned as I stare at them, remembering everything.
The thought summons a dark specter, one that always seems to pounce whenever I’m depressed.
I always had a drink in my hand. Even as I stumbled in my heels, a drink was sure to be there. Drugs? Yep. I was down for anything. I just wanted to fit in. I wanted others to accept me. I didn’t go to college; I couldn’t afford it, and it damn sure wasn’t something my parents cared about. But I was at every party on campus.
That’s where I met Natalie, although she just talked to me, bringing me into her group. It was different when she was there. It was better, but back then I didn’t know. I just wanted to feel something. I needed something in my pathetic life.
I struggle against his powerful grip, my arms held back above my head against the bedpost, my eyes glazed and unfocused. I shouldn’t be here alone in this darkened room with him, but I drank too much and let him talk me into it. Now I’m regretting it big time, but the words are lost in the haze of alcohol.
Chase lowers his handsome face down close to mine as the walls shake from the bass of the music blasting through the frat house. “God, I’ve wanted you all night,” he says kissing my neck, his breath hot against my skin. “You asked for this.”
I shake my head weakly, insecurity twisting my stomach. I didn’t want this. I’m not like that. I don’t want to be thought of like that. I didn’t know when he led me up here. How did I not know? My head shakes and I feel so stupid, so foolish. So guilty.
I part my lips to tell him, the alcohol making my head feel so heavy. But he kisses me instead, and then pulls back to take his shirt off. No, I just need to tell him no. He’ll listen. He’s not trying to take advantage of me. It’s my fault. “I thought you just wanted to mess around a little.” My words come out muffled.