My father reaches for me, grabbing my arm and shoving his hand over my mouth. I turn in his grasp and land my fist against his jaw, the stinging pain ringing through my numb body.
“Zander,” my father looks back at me with his hand over his jaw. There's a bit of blood covering his teeth and spilling out onto his hand. His face isn’t one of anger, there’s no hate. His expression is simply one of denial.
“I shot Daniel Brooks twice.” I turn and face the judge, only then aware of the sounds of the people around me and the flash of a camera.
“Zander, no!” Arianna’s soft voice travels to me, her words full of pain. I close my eyes, ignoring her plea. She never should have tried to pull this shit. I won’t let her. I swallow thickly and continue.
“I came to his home and saw the defendant there. I knew she was there.” My father tries to cut me off, but I continue. “I came with my gun and I shot him.” The words leave my hollow chest, each one ripping and clawing at my throat on the way out, begging to take the memories with them. “I killed him, and I’d do it again.”
“This is a stunt, your Honor,” the prosecution calls out, his voice high and carrying an air of disbelief.
I catch sight of my attorney but she’s looking at my father, her lips pressed together.
Through all the banging of the gavel, the chatter of the people behind me, the attorneys arguing and judge speaking over everyone, all I can hear is Arianna. “Zander, no,” and her small cry breaks my heart.
I hear the footsteps of the cop’s shoes against the thin carpet of the courtroom before his hands are on me.
Chapter 34
Arianna
“You’re a free woman, Miss Owens,” Dana tells me as we pull up to my shared apartment with Natalie, the smooth hum of the Mercedes engine running.
Her words bring me no joy. I don’t want to be free. I shouldn’t be here.
I suck in a sharp breath as Zander’s words ring in my mind. I did it! I shot Daniel Brooks twice.
I shake my head at the memory, filled with despair. He should’ve kept quiet. He should’ve let me take the fall.
Seeing him dragged from the courtroom nearly brought me to my knees.
Noting the anguish on my face, Dana gently pats me on the knee. “That’s a brave thing you did, trying to take the fall for Mr. Payne.”
I make a face. “Brave? Or stupid?” The question is rhetorical. What I did wasn’t smart, but smart doesn't matter in this case.
A wistful, empathetic expression comes over Dana. “I think we’ve all done something not so wise in the name of love, Miss Owens.”
I inhale deeply at the word love. It’s true. And something I’ve known for a while now. I love Zander. And I don’t want to see him rot in a jail cell on my behalf no matter what he did.
“Don’t worry,” Dana assures me at my distant, pained expression. “Everything is going to work out fine.”
“Do you think so?” I ask, feeling a small glimmer of hope.
Dana gives me a confident nod. “Mr. Payne is a resourceful man. And so is his father. If anyone can figure a way out of this mess, they can.”
I know she’s trying to comfort me, but she can’t know that for sure. Zander committed murder. Even confessed to it. I want to believe that things are going to be okay, but right now, I’m not seeing a way out.
“Thank you,” I say to Dana, giving a nod and flashing a weak smile. “I really appreciate all your help.”
“You’re very welcome, Miss Owens,” Dana replies. “Take care.”
I open the door and step out of the vehicle and watch as she drives off in her gleaming chrome Mercedes-Benz. After a moment I turn around and take in the apartment building, noting the cream-colored stucco walls and the units that are almost too close together.
It feels strange coming back here after everything I’ve gone through. And I dread having to go inside, knowing the questions that await me there. But I have to do it. I need someone to confide in.
My heart races as I make my way up the stairs and to my apartment with Natalie. By the time I reach the door, my breathing is heavy and ragged, a little from climbing the stairs and some from the crushing anxiety that I feel.
“What the hell is going on, Ari?” Natalie demands as soon as I step through the door.
My chest fills with warmth slightly at the sight of her. I haven’t seen her in days and I’m grateful to finally lay eyes on her face. She looks beside herself, her hair’s a mess, and it looks like she’s lost a few pounds in the little time since I last saw her.
“Your mug has been plastered all over the news!” Natalie hisses when I don’t answer right away. “It’s crazy!” She shakes her head in anger. “I tried getting into the courthouse to see you, but I couldn’t get inside.” She pauses, peering at me with concern. “Is it really true?”
“Is what true?” I ask.
“Did that Zander… Zander Payne… Did he really murder Danny to save you?” Natalie asks with intensity.
I stare at her for a long time, setting my keys down on the counter and recounting the last few weeks. It hurts to take in a breath as I look back at her wide, pleading eyes. Slowly, I nod my head. “He did… if he hadn’t...” my voice trails off as pain pulses my back. My wounds have been healing, but they still hurt like hell. I don’t know when the pain will stop. If it will ever stop. I’ll have scars for the rest of my life, but none of that matters compared to what Zander’s facing.
“Jesus,” Natalie mutters, shaking her head. “I can’t believe it.” She looks up at me, her eyes shining with relief. “Thank God you’re still alive.” She comes forward to give me a hug.
I hold her at arm's length. “Please don’t touch me.”
She covers her mouth quickly, pain reflected in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she breathes the words. She visibly swallows as I lower my arms. “He hit you? Right?” Danny did?” Her words are slow, said with a lowered voice.
I turn around and lift my shirt slightly up my back for a brief moment. Natalie recoils as I turn back around, her face twisting in disgusted disbelief.
Silence falls over the room for a moment.
“I need you to tell me everything,” Natalie says, finally breaking the silence. She looks shaken to the core, visibly trembling.
“I don’t want to talk, Nat.” My voice is soft. I don’t want to do anything except wait for Zander to be released. Tears leak from the corners of my eyes. He can’t go to jail for me for the rest of my life. I don’t think I could live with the guilt.
“Please, Ari?” she asks as I brush the tears away. “I’ve been worried sick about you since this all started. I don’t think I can go another minute without knowing what happened.” She shakes her head, tears filling her eyes. “Not after…” she pauses and swallows thickly, “seeing that.”
I suck in a trembling breath, more tears threatening to spill from my eyes. The pain in Natalie’s voice causes my knees to go weak and I feel like crumpling to the floor. I stumble over to the couch and sink down into the cushions, wanting to curl up into a tiny ball. Crossing my arms across my chest, I bite my lower lip and lower my head. The shame, guilt and anxiety are almost too much for me to take.