I’ve been a shitty friend, keeping secrets and leaving Natalie in the dark.
A moment later I feel the space beside me dip as Natalie takes a seat and a warm hand gently touches my shoulder.
“Please don’t do this,” Natalie begs, her heart in her voice. “Please don’t push me away right now.”
The pain in her words lances my chest.
“Ari?” she presses. “Please. My heart is aching.”
When I can manage over the lump in my throat, I tell her, “I’m so, so sorry for keeping things from you. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Oh honey,” Natalie says, her voice filled with unshed tears, aching with sympathy. “You don’t have to be sorry for me. I’ll be fine. I’m just happy that you’re okay.”
I try to respond, but I can’t get any words out.
Natalie keeps rubbing my shoulders until I’m all cried out, softly whispering soothing comfort in my ears. “Can you forgive me?” I ask hoarsely when I finally recover, looking at her with red-rimmed eyes. Natalie grabs a tissue from the end table and dabs at the tears on my face. “Oh, Ari… there’s nothing to forgive. I love you, and am here for you no matter what.”
Her words are almost enough to send me into another bout of tears, but I swallow them back.
“I just need to know what happened,” Natalie says softly.
I stare at her long and hard. Her eyes are puffy and swollen. I didn’t notice it when I came through the door.
Sucking in a deep, trembling breath, I tell her everything. About Danny and his abusive, manipulative ways, his debts, him owing Zander, using me as collateral for the auction, Zander’s confession. Everything.
“Shit, Ari,” Natalie whispers when I’m done, her eyes filled with tears and horror as she shakes her head. “I never knew.”
“It’s awful,” I say weakly.
There’s pain in Natalie’s face. And it’s hard for me not to avert my gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I pick nervously at my blouse. “I don’t know. I felt like... I was trapped. The club, it has NDAs. I’m not supposed to talk to other people about it unless I’ve been permitted.”
“You could’ve still told me,” Natalie said, looking hurt. “I would’ve never told anyone.”
I let out a distressed sigh. “I know, Nat. I just didn’t know what to do and I didn't want to disappoint you. I’m sorry. “Nat grabs my hand and squeezes it. “Don’t be.” She gives my hand another gentle squeeze. “I’m just glad you’re alive.”
I close my eyes, remembering the brutal lashes Danny gave me and whisper, “Me, too.”
“And I’m glad that bastard Danny is dead,” Natalie says with venom as though my thoughts summoned him to her mind.
I part my lips out of habit to defend him, but then close them. For the first time I can remember, I have no urge to come to Danny’s defense. It used to come so easily to me, like a reflex, but now I owe him nothing.
“I’m glad he’s gone too,” I agree, and mean it.
There’s a moment of silence and I can only hear the sound of my heartbeat.
“So what happens now?” Natalie asks. “What’s going to happen to Zander?”
It’s the question that’s been on my mind the moment I saw him dragged out of the courtroom. I like to believe with all his money and power, Zander could somehow find a way out of this. He’s too smart, charming and cunning to let himself be locked away for the rest of his life.
But deep down, I know his chances are slim. He confessed. They have all the evidence they need to put him away. And no amount of money he has is going to save him.
A heavy sigh escapes my lips and I grip Natalie’s hand tightly as I reply, “I really hope so, Nat. I really do.”
Chapter 35
Zander
One slip, and your world crumbles around you. My elbows rest on my knees in the large cell. The holding area is quiet, the only sounds coming from a vent above my head and occasionally a door opening or closing. I lift my head to stare at the steel bars.
I’m fucked. I take in a deep breath, exhaustion weighing me down. There’s nothing I can do or say to protect me. Judgment day has come. I let out a shaky laugh that echoes off the empty walls.
How ironic. All the shitty things I’ve done, the laws I’ve broken and corrupt deals I’ve made, and yet I’m going to be sentenced for the one good thing I ever did.
The smile fades as I see the look in Arianna’s eyes. The fear. The realization of what was happening.
I run my hands through my hair, my eyes glassing with tears. The hardest thing is walking away from her. My sweetheart.
It’s only been hours since the hearing. Hours since they cuffed me and took me here.
I was silent in the interrogation room. I’m smart enough to shut up when I’m alone.
A long sigh leaves me as I slump against the cold brick wall, staring aimlessly ahead. It’s odd how much relief I feel that it’s all over. No more deals and corruption, no more hiding in the shadows and watching, but smiling when the lights are on me. No more pretending and playing their game.
Even if I somehow get out of here, I’m done. I’m through with all this shit.
I want more from life. I want a real life. One with Arianna.
Women make men fall to their knees
I wouldn’t change a thing. But now I’m not there for her.
I close my eyes slowly, picturing her sweet smile. Genuine happiness. She gave that to me and I’ll be damned, but I want more.
My eyes open and the vision of her disappears. If only I could go back and somehow hide it. No. I’d need to go back to before. To when he gave her to me. I’d go back then if I could and hire Charles to end him.
I should have. I made so many mistakes, tripping and stumbling all the while my eyes were only on Arianna.
She made me fall, and now I only want to get up for her.
The sound of the large door at the end of the hall opening, snaps me back to the moment.
Several sets of shoes slap against the hard floor as they make their way closer to me.
I stay still, my heart beating slowly and my blood chilling. I know how this all ends, but I can’t help to wish for an out. Someone who owes me, someone I’ve helped in the past who can pull strings. But there’s not a single name I can think of. None connected to Judge Pierce. And I’ve confessed in a room of eyes and ears.
I should have played this smarter, but I couldn’t think. Not with her taking the fall for me.
The warden doesn’t look at me as he slips a key into the lock, opening the large cell door by pulling on the first bar. Behind him are two men.
The first I recognize as my father’s lawyer. Not my own. Nathanael Goldman.
My father’s behind him. Immediately I stand up, rising to meet them. The warden closes the door behind them as anxiety races in my blood. I can hardly look my father in the eyes, but somehow I do. I may have killed Brooks, but he deserved to die.
“I know you didn’t do it.” My father’s voice is full of pride and confidence.
“I did,” I look him in the eyes as I answer. My father’s jaw clenches and he looks to his right, to the lawyer he’s brought with him.