Chapter Nine
Olivia
Last night when I woke and I was clinging to him, he brought me to the couch. When I saw that he was sleeping on the couch with me, I almost sobbed. This man is sleeping on a couch because I’m the bitch who made him not safe in his house. Lying there in the room with him, I felt my heart calm down, and the nightmare didn’t seem so scary anymore. I suddenly felt so safe, knowing he was there, and was able to fall asleep. When I opened my eyes this morning, I don’t know why I was expecting to see him. I also don’t know why it bothered me when I didn’t see him.
“Good morning, beautiful girl,” she says from the kitchen while she cooks breakfast.
“Morning,” I say, getting up, trying not to do it too fast so my head doesn’t spin.
“How are you feeling this morning?” she asks, and I just smile at her. The last thing I want to do is worry her again. “I was scared that you would wake up when I covered you up.”
“You covered me up?” I ask, and I need to walk away as my stomach starts to flip.
“Well, the blanket was off you a bit, so I just made sure you weren’t cold.” I look at her while she smiles as if she just did what everyone else would do. Not once did my mother ever cover me for anything. She would leave me sleeping on the couch and have someone else carry me to my room and tuck me in, and even at that, the people did it because they were paid to do it.
“You are one of a kind,” I say, smiling softly at her. Getting up off the couch, I fold the blanket. “Kallie and Casey are really lucky.” I pick up the stuff to put it away. I don’t know where, but I’ll at least take them to the room I’m staying in.
She shakes her head. “I’m the lucky one. Now go wash up, and I’ll call Casey to come for breakfast.” I nod at her and bite my tongue when I want to ask about Casey. I walk away, trying not to think about how different our lives have been. When this whole thing blew up, my mother made one phone call to tell me not to reach out to her until it blew over. She didn’t rush to my side, and she didn’t send a lawyer for me. She did nothing, which just made me cement the decision to cut her out of my life. It’s just me, I think to myself. I can be okay with just me.
I put the stuff down on the bed and take my phone out. I make the call that I don’t want to make, but I do it anyway. I have to get out of here, and the sooner the better. The call goes straight to voice mail. “Detective Gonzales, it’s Olivia Young. I was wondering if you could call me back please. Thank you.” I put the phone down beside me, and I’m about to get up when the phone rings. I see that it’s an unknown number, so I don’t know if I should answer it, but it might be the detective.
“Hello,” I say, my voice soft and quiet.
“Ms. Young.” His voice sounds like he just woke up. “It’s Detective Gonzales.”
“Hi, Detective,” I say. “I’m sorry if I woke you.” I close my eyes. “I didn’t even think about the time difference.”
“More than okay,” he says. “Is there something you need?”
“I was wondering …” I start to say. “I’m coming back to LA tomorrow. I just want to know how safe it is.”
He exhales a deep breath. “I’m not going to lie to you. There have been no more break-ins at your place, and with the man arrested yesterday, I don’t think the threat is there anymore.”
I exhale the breath I was keeping in. “Perfect,” I say even though I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad with his answer. “Well, I will touch base with you once I’m home.”
“That sounds good,” he says, and I disconnect, tossing the phone on the bed. Heading to the bathroom, I wash the tears off my face that I didn’t even know were there, and the whole time, I can hear my mother’s voice.
“Stop with the tears, Olivia. Tears don’t help anyone.
You don’t depend on anyone but yourself, Olivia; therefore, you can never be let down.
Never let them see your weakness.”
Breakfast is weird, and when Casey says nothing to me the whole time, I have to think it’s because we’re all invading his space. But by tonight, I’ll be gone, and his life can go back to normal. As I watch him walk out of the house, I think I breathe a sigh of relief. But then the minute I can’t see him, my heart speeds back up. My eyes roam around the room frantically, looking around to make sure I can see everything in case someone comes to us.
When Kallie comes in an hour later, Charlotte leaves. “Why does that face scare me?” Kallie asks while I laugh.
“Maybe because I haven’t put on makeup in five days.” I try to joke, but my heart gets heavier, knowing that I’m also leaving my best friend behind.
“We went to Cabo last year.” She points at me. “And you went ten days without makeup,” she reminds me. I try not to think about how empty my life will be without her, but it’s fine. It’ll be okay. Maybe not right away, but eventually, it’ll be okay.
“The detective called me this morning,” I say, and she just looks at me, waiting. “Okay, fine, I called the detective,” I say, lifting my hands in the air. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter who called who. What matters is that it’s safe to go back home now that they caught the guy.”
“I don’t know, Olivia.” She blinks away her tears.
“I can’t stay here forever, Kallie,” I say, blinking away my own tears as my stomach sinks. I feel like I’m going to be sick. “It’s time that everyone gets on with their lives.” I try not to think about Casey and him getting on with his life. He’ll go back to being the hottest bachelor in town, but this time, I won’t be stopping him from dating.
“Everyone is getting on with their lives with you here.” Her voice is soft now, but then it rises just a touch. “Is it Casey?” she asks, getting angry now. “Did he say something to you?” She shakes her head. “Fuck him, you can stay with us.”
I laugh. “No,” I tell her. “He didn’t say anything to me. I swear.” I hold up my hand like Scout’s honor.
“I don’t want you to go,” she finally says. She wipes away the tears coming down her face, and I don’t even bother hiding mine anymore. “I mean, who is going to help you with taco not Tuesday?” She mentions the time I tried to make tacos, but the turkey meat I bought got stuck to the pan, and it was crunchy when you bit into it. “Who is going to make you watch reality television?”
“We can FaceTime,” I say. “My life is there. My home is there.” I try not to think about how I’ve never called anywhere home.
She takes me in her arms, and I try not to sob. “I’m not dying.” I try to joke with her. “You know I can come visit, and you can come visit.”
“Where are you going to stay?” she asks, and I shrug.
“I haven’t stayed at the Four Seasons in a really long time.” I smile. “I thought I would stay there until I got a new place.” We let each other go, and I get online and book my flight home. The whole time, I ignore all the emotion coming out of me.