She doesn’t say anything to me, and we just hug each other. When Jacob picks her up an hour later, she looks at me. “I’m going to come right back, so we can spend the night watching movies.”
I nod, and when she closes the door behind her, I head to the bedroom. Taking my luggage from the corner of the room, I set it on the bed and open it up. I start packing my things. I fold all my clothes, trying not to think about tomorrow. I’m so inside my head that I don’t hear the back door open, and I don’t hear him stomping his boots on the floor. So when I hear his voice, I jump.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I look up to see that his shirt is almost see-through from the sweat. His face is red all over, and his pants are filthy. He looks like he just ran through the mud.
“Jesus, cowboy,” I say, putting my hand on my chest. “You scared the shit out of me.” I place the last pair of my pants into the bag.
“Answer the question, Olivia,” he demands. I can tell by his tone that he’s pissed, but for the life of me, I don’t know what he’s talking about.
“Good news.” I start talking, hoping my tone is peppy. I’ve been preparing this speech ever since I made the decision this morning to leave. “Since the guy was arrested yesterday, the detective said it was safe for me to go back home.”
He steps into the room, and I can see that his face is dirty now, especially his forehead. “Which detective told you this?”
I try not to breathe in, and my heart starts to pound even harder than ever. “The one working on my case in LA.” I ignore his look or at least I try. “I booked a flight out tomorrow morning.”
“You aren’t going,” he snaps. “You don’t leave until I’m sure the threat is over, and I’m”—he points at himself—“telling you it’s not right now.”
I shake my head, trying not to read too much into his words. It’s not that he doesn’t want me to stay because he wants me here. No, he doesn’t want me to go because he doesn’t think I’m safe.
“Cowboy.” I realize I’m going to miss saying his nickname. I’m going to miss him so much more than I’m admitting to myself. “I’m going to be fine. Besides …” I look over at him. He’s so handsome. I look at his arms and see what looks like little pieces of sawdust. “It’s time.”
“It’s not time.” Charging over to me, he reaches for the top of my head as he pulls the elastic out. “I love your hair down,” he whispers. The whole time, I’m standing here, holding my breath. I don’t even realize that I’m not breathing as I take him in, and when I do, I smell him all around me. He smells of trees and the woods; he smells perfect. He threads his fingers into my hair, and my hands move to his hips. His eyes go darker as he gets close to me. “It’s not time,” he says again, but this time in a whisper. “It’s not time.” His face comes closer this time, and I can feel his breath on me. My heart speeds up, and I wait for it. It’s what I’ve been waiting for what feels like my whole life. It’s also something I know I’ll remember, if only just once.
“Darlin’.” When he says my nickname, his lips come so close to mine, but then the phone in his pocket rings. We both look at each other, waiting for the ringing to stop as my heart beats faster and faster. I want to get on my tippy toes this time and just take the kiss he wants to give me. When his phone rings again with a strange ringtone, he drops his hands this time, and I try not to let it hurt.
I tell myself it’s for the best. It’s better this way. He answers, barking out, “What?” He listens to whoever is on the line, and when his eyes fly to mine, I see something in his gaze. “Find out.” He hangs up the phone and then his eyes go down before he glances up at me again. For the second or maybe for the third time, my life is changed. “Your attacker was just found dead in his cell.”
Chapter Ten
Casey
I say the words I know will change everything. “Your attacker was just found dead in his cell.” I watch as she looks at me, and then she falls to her knees. I’m not fast enough to catch her in time and watch as she howls out in what sounds like gut-wrenching pain. “Darlin’,” I say, picking her up and carrying her out of the bedroom. She buries her face into my neck and wraps her legs around my waist as I carry her into the kitchen.
When I walked in and saw her packing, I went through so many different emotions. I was pissed she was leaving and then sad she wanted to leave. But most of all, I didn’t want her to leave. I didn’t want her going anywhere, and I finally admitted it to myself. This thing between us is there. In all this craziness, I’ve gone and fell for her on a level that is just … I can’t even come up with the words to explain it. When I pulled her hair out of the elastic and then buried my hands in her hair, it was as soft as I dreamed it would be. Watching her shield go down, I saw the softness in her eyes as the color got just a touch lighter. I was so close I could taste her, but then the phone rang. I wanted to throw it against the wall, but then when it rang again with Derek’s ringtone, I knew something was wrong.
I place her on the counter, but her legs don’t let me go. My arms go around her, and I know that I’m filthy, and she’s probably going to get dirty, but I don’t care. I’ll hold her for as long as she needs me to.
“Darlin’,” I say softly as her sobs are beginning to subside.
“Why?” she asks, voice cracking, and I feel her breaking down. “Why me?”
I wish I had the answer. I wish I could say whatever she needed to hear. I wish I could make all this go away. I do know one thing—I’ll die before it touches her again.
“I don’t know,” I say. The front door opens, and I hear the sound of footsteps running through the house. Kallie whips around the corner, stopping in her tracks with Jacob behind her. I look at her, and she puts her hands to her mouth. Jacob just looks at me.
“You heard?” he asks, and I just nod my head.
“Derek just called me,” I tell them. She peels her face out of my neck. She turns her head, but doesn’t loosen her hold on me. And neither do I.
“Why don’t we run a bath?” Kallie suggests, coming to my side and rubbing Olivia’s back. “A nice bath.” Olivia looks at her and then at me. “We can use Casey’s big one.” I see the look she had in her eyes right before I kissed her is gone, and in its place is the shield, and I hate it.
“It’s never going to stop,” she whispers. “Why can’t I just be left alone?” When she releases me, I see the defeat in her eyes. I watch as Kallie takes her hand and walks with her to my bedroom. Only when I hear the door close do I look over at Jacob.
“I’ll kill him.” My eyes return to the spot I last saw Olivia. “I swear to everything, if I see him, I’ll kill him.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Jacob says. Walking over to the cabinet on top of the fridge, I take out my father’s whiskey. I open it, forgoing the glass, and take a huge gulp, letting it burn all the way down. “You may want to go easy on that.”