"Me? What about you and, and, your sin!" she can barely get the word out of her mouth. "I'm going to have to repent simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and bearing witness!"
"You do realize that 'sin' isn't a bad word, right? And yeah, I sinned, so what! You can't have forgiveness without it!" I respond a little louder than I mean to.
"Sister Suri, do try to act like you're repentant," Mother Superior's voice startles me.
Fuck. I didn't notice Mother Superior open the door.
"Sorry, Reverend Mother," I say, trying my hardest to make it sound honest.
"Sisters, run along and get your day started!" she shouts to the busybodies littering the hallway.
"Come in," she commands.
Sister Dawn and I follow her into her office and take a seat in front of her desk.
"Sister Dawn came to me yesterday evening with a serious accusation." Mother Superior gets right to it, narrowing her eyes at me. "She told me she heard you making sensuous noises inside of your room."
I had to work hard to hold my laughter inside. Sensuous noises? Really?
"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you mean, Mother Superior."
If Sister Dawn and Mother Superior want to play games, then we can play games. You're going to keep me from work--not that I'm complaining-- because she heard sensuous noises? Give me a fucking break.
"Sister Dawn heard what you were doing last night," Mother Superior glares at me.
Woah. If looks could kill, right?
I maintain the look of ignorance on my face, my gaze shifting between them.
"Sister Dawn," Mother Superior starts, "tell Sister Suri what it is that you heard last night."
My gaze moves to Sister Dawn, and I challenge her to say what she heard out loud.
"Well, I saw Sister Suri walking to her room. I asked her if she was coming to dinner. When she said no, that she didn't feel well, I let her go. Once dinner was over, I felt the need to check on her. I walked to her room and was getting ready to knock on her door when I heard it."
Fuck, and I tried so hard to keep it in.
"Heard what?" Mother Superior asks, wanting Sister Dawn to elaborate.
Mother Superior is a horrible person. Is she going to sit here and make Sister Dawn say what she heard, knowing that it's going to eat her alive to do so? She's no better than I am.
I sit there, watching Sister Dawn try to work up the courage to say what it is she heard. She starts to speak, unable to say what it is she heard. She is stuttering and talking around what it is she actually wants to say.
"She heard me orgasming," I interrupt.
I can't stand the thought of making Sister Dawn say it, knowing she's too shy to do so. I don't care if she's a tattletale, she means well. She certainly doesn't deserve this purposeful humiliation just so Mother Superior can wield her power over me.
I hate being the better person, better than Mother Superior anyway, all the while knowing what a fucking asshole I am.
Mother Superior looks angry at the fact that I spoke for Dawn.
Too fucking bad.
"Is this true, Sister Dawn. Is Sister Suri telling the truth?"
"Yes ma'am," Sister Dawn says, her eyes glued to her fingers, which are linked together, tightly, in her lap.
"It's not fair of you to make her say it, knowing it embarrasses her so much. Haven't you heard of humility, Mother Superior?"
Mother Superior isn't happy with the fact that, suddenly, Sister Dawn and I are on the same team. I can't argue with her. I'm not excited about it either, but I can't seem to kick that submissive nature of mine, putting everyone else before me.
"Sister Dawn, thank you. You may leave," Mother Superior states.
I stay seated, knowing she's not finished with me. Once Sister Dawn leaves, she turns back toward my direction.
"How dare you!" she shrieks.
"Excuse me? It's not like I was in the middle of the hallway doing what I did. I was in the privacy of my own room. I even told Sister Dawn that I would be fine and didn't need anything. It's not my fault that she followed me and got herself into this mess!"
Whack!
Suddenly, my head is cast to the side by the force of the back of Mother Superior's hand. My hand flies to the corner of my mouth and my cheek to stop the sting. She must have surprised herself as much as she surprised me because once I compose myself enough to look at her, I see the shock plastered across her face.
I lower my hand, and her eyes grow even wider. Looking down at my fingers, I see a tiny amount of blood on them. My tongue travels to the corner of my mouth, where my lips meet, and I taste metal.
Blood. This bitch made me bleed!
My gaze fixates on her once more, but this time it's filled with hatred.
"Get out," she commands.
"Now who should be ashamed? How many Hail Marys is it going to take for God to forgive you for this transgression, Mother?"
"Get out now! Go to your room and do not leave it until I come and get you or, so help me God; the consequences will be a thousand times worse. Don't forget that I know why you're here."
She wouldn't, would she? The bitch has the one thing in the world that can control my every move, and I fucking detest her for it. I get up and run from her office, not stopping until I get to my room and lock my door behind me. I throw myself down onto the bed and start crying. I am not this person. I swore to myself that once I left Tim, I would never again live under someone else's thumb. I have to get out of here. I need to get a hold of Detective Robbins. If he can't place me somewhere else, ASAP, then I will run.
Several hours later, I hear a soft knock on my door. I ignore it, I can't bring myself to pull the covers back from my body. Ironically, my uncomfortable bed is the only comfort I've had since I got here.
The knock sounds again, this time, followed by a small voice.
"Sister Suri?"
It's Sister Dawn. What does she want? I throw the covers off of me and pad across the floor, opening my door slightly while trying to keep the right side of my face out of sight.
"What do you want?"
Sister Dawn flinches with hurt at my brash question, and I start to feel bad for her all over again. This is so fucking annoying.
"I'm here to, um. Well, Mother Superior," she stops, unable to form a complete sentence.
I stare, waiting for her to speak again.
"Sister Suri, can I please just come in and talk?"
For some reason, I let her. She's blissfully unaware and ignorant, and I can't help but feel bad for her because of it. She walks through the doorway and invites herself to sit on the edge of my bed. There isn't anywhere to sit, though. I join her with a heavy thud as my ass hits the hard mattress.
"Oh, my!" Sister Suri, what happ--?"
I forgot all about my cheek. My hand flies up, trying to cover it, knowing its too late.
SIster Dawn takes my hand and gently removes it from my face.
"Mother Superior."
It wasn't a question.
I stare at the floor across the room, avoiding her statement.
"She does have a mean streak. I'll never forget the first time she hit me."
"You? But I thought--"