"In the name of the Father," he lifts the aspergillum and sprinkles the sacred water on my naked body.
"And of the Son," another shake of the aspergillum and more of the consecrated liquid flies over my skin.
"And of the Holy Spirit."
The rush of air from the Monsignor's motion mixed with the droplets splattered over my back sends a chill up my spine.
"Amen," we say in unison.
He returns the bucket to the shelf and steps up to the table where all of his instruments are. Secretly, I wish for the cane. I need something more substantial and with a bit more of a bite, this time around. Unfortunately, he passes over it before locking in on his tool of choice.
I watch as Monsignor fingers the leather tresses of the flogger as he stands before me, readying himself for my penance.
"Let's start at the beginning," he says, "what brought you here to me today?"
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Smack!
He starts gentle, but I need to feel the pain. I need to tell him about what happened earlier. Not just about touching myself. Not just about Suri witnessing me breaking. Not just about how I want to control her. About how I want to tie her to the cross that sits in this very room. About how I want to bend her to my will.
All of it.
"It's been three years since my last session."
Smack.
"Tell me your sins, Father," he commands.
Will he demand that Suri be sent away? I don't like the thought of not being around her, but that really may be the best course of action. Getting her out of my life will help get me back on track.
"I've been having impure thoughts," I mention.
Smack. It's a little harder this time and leaves a slight tingle in its wake. It feels better now, but it will require a mightier intensity before I can feel cleansed.
"Tell me about these thoughts," he insists, "no detail is too small."
"It started when she got here, Sister Suri. She's awakened something within me, something that hasn't been there for a long time. Not since the affair with Claire."
Smack. Smack.
"Mmm…" he acknowledges.
He's thinking back to our sessions during the time of the affair. How I promised him it was just for fun and didn't mean anything. The longer it went on, the more intense I got until finally, I saw him almost daily to try and rein in my behavior.
I was missing services, forgetting my duties and responsibilities. Claire consumed me.
She was the one who got away.
He kept me locked up in here for two weeks, starving me, punishing me, making me see that I didn't care for her. That I only thought I was in love with her. I only thought she needed me to take care of her. In actuality, I needed her. I needed her to need me, so I would feel like her leaving wasn't a mistake.
After Monsignor helped me clear my head, I realized how far gone I had been. How toxic she was for me. I didn't want her; I didn't miss her; I didn't love her again. I only wanted revenge. I tried to rub her nose in the fact that she cheated on me and disappeared from my life. Then, to find out that the man she was running to wasn't the respectable Dom he pretended to be.
Smack. Smack. Smack. Harder and in quick succession.
YES! More!
Fuck yes! Fire licks across my back, my ass, and my thighs and my dick twitches to life. My skin burns, blissfully, but it's gone too soon, replaced by chilly goosebumps.
"I sincerely hope we aren't digressing back to that time in your life, Father Ryan," he chides.
"No, Father. Never again."
Smack. Softer again now.
Fuck.
"Sister Suri is pulling me in with her docile nature. It calls to me, begging me to shape her, to mold her into the perfect submissive. I couldn't stop my mind from wandering earlier today. I was thinking about all that I would do to her if she were mine, and I couldn't fight the urge to touch myself."
Smack.
"I pictured her here, secured to this cross. Her ample, round ass, red from my hand."
Smack.
Damn it; I need more than what he's giving me.
"What else, Father Ryan?"
"I didn't get to think about much of anything else. It seems the little mouse has a bad curiosity habit--she caught me.
SMACK.
It was one single blow, but Father gave me precisely what I needed. The flogger landed with a hard, calculated sting over the crack of my ass. The tresses flew between my open legs, swatting my balls, then curling upward from the impact, biting at my dick. The fire that licked across my skin a moment ago is back, burning hotter than ever.
My dick is painfully hard, and I think about how glorious it would feel wrapped in the warmth of Sister Suri's sweet mouth. I cry out in painful pleasure as Father's flogger strikes me two more times, equally as hard, once on each cheek of my ass.
My balls tighten up painfully as I wonder if the Monsignor is going to continue raining the flogger over me. As I silently plead for him to do it.
"That was for your stupidity."
"Yes, Father, thank you."
Smack.
Again with the gentle, barely-there touches from the flogger. I know where he's headed, and I am not going to like it. But penance shouldn't be fun. I shouldn't enjoy it as much as I just did.
"I don't believe that you are feeling the way you are because you're going to lose your control again."
Smack.
A little harder this time.
"I believe you feel this way because you're embracing the control."
"Forgive me, Father, I'm not sure what you--"
SMACK.
Another blow to the center of my ass, sending the tresses straight for my dick. Had the buzz from a moment ago not subsided slightly, I would have blown my load all over the wall in front of me.
"Let me finish. You're Dominant above all else. As much as you want to push it down and forget about it, you will never be able to do so. It's in your nature; your true calling."
Smack.
"Claire was never right for you. What happened to you three years ago is proof of that."
Smack.
"If your body is pulling you toward this, you need to embrace it. Frankly, I think it will be good for the girl as well. She makes a horrible nun. The two of you are meant for one another."
I have a hard time keeping the deep chuckle escaping.
"You think that's funny?" Monsignor asks.
"No," I clear my throat, stopping the laughter, "No, Father."
"The will serve the rest of your penance in this room, secured as you are now until that raging hard-on dies," he said with annoyance.
Wait; what? My head shoots around as far as I can get it, but the Monsignor doesn't acknowledge me.
"Then, you need to figure out how to welcome your true nature into the forefront of your mind and reassimilate the new old you into our culture here at St. Bartholomew's."
Suri
Sister Dawn and I sit uncomfortably close to one another on the bench outside of Mother Superior's office.
"I can't believe you ratted me out. How old are you?" I ask her under my breath so the other Sisters, milling about in the hallway trying to make it seem as though they aren't interested in why we're sitting here, don't hear me.