We find ourselves connected, me inside her, her surrounding me, her gorgeous tits in my face, and her essence covering my fingers, tongue, and cock. Thank goodness she finally told me she was on birth control and we agreed to be as close as possible. The way she said it, it almost seemed like a new development, but how could a woman like Mandy not be on birth control?
Our world shakes as her entire body stiffens. I open my eyes.
It’s one of my favorite views, watching her come. I love the way for a moment everything else in the world disappears, and she enjoys the pleasure inside her.
I kiss her nose. “You’re amazing.”
Mandy shakes her head. “I think that’s you.”
Though I don’t want to, I ease out of her. “I wish you’d stay all night.”
“My son is spending the night with my parents, but I need to be there in the morning.”
I reach for her hand. “What happened to his dad?”
The happiness of a moment ago is gone. I haven't pushed, but it's been three months and I want to know.
“Malcolm...”
“Beautiful, I'm not going anywhere. There’s nothing you can say that will scare me away.”
Her lips disappear between her teeth, one by one, as she contemplates telling me her story. I pull her close, her cheek to my chest, and wait. With the comfort of the soft sheet and blanket over our bodies, we lie in the stillness for what seems like an eternity. Only the sound of our breathing and the light hum of the furnace warming the apartment fill the air.
I have ideas about what could have happened to her son’s father. Maybe he’s a jerk and didn’t want kids. Maybe he’s in prison. What I didn’t anticipate was the reality.
Mandy speaks quietly, replacing the rhythm of our breaths with the awful truth. “He was killed by an IED.”
I feel like a jerk with the scenarios I'd imagined. None of them had included her being a widow. Then again, what she just said makes sense. I couldn’t imagine any man willingly leaving this beautiful woman, not her and not a kid. As her shoulders shudder, I kiss the top of her head, tasting the hair spray and shampoo. “I’m sorry. Thank you for telling me.”
I pull her tighter as her pain—her loss—emanates from her every pore. It’s a dense cloud surrounding us. It’s not pretty. But life isn’t always pretty. This is the truth I want to share, the reality I want to navigate beside her, if she’ll allow me.
After another long pause, she speaks again, “You’re the first...the only...other than him. I know we started this sex thing fast, but I hadn’t...not in five years.”
I run my hand over her hair, smoothing the waves and wanting her to know how much I care for her. Hell, it’s more than care. Over the past three months I’ve fallen in love with her. I hug her tighter. “So the birth control?”
“I never needed it.”
“I never thought you slept around.”
She lifts her tearstained cheeks. “Really? We did it in the front seat of my car on our second date.”
My grin broadens. “We did and in my apartment the first night we met. I'll never forget either time. You were fantastic. I love it when you ride my cock.”
“You do?”
The way she asks brings my body back to life one more time. “I do. I love the way your tits bounce in my face and the way your knees squeeze my hips.”
Mandy shakes her head as she pushes herself up. “You know I’m tired, right?”
“I know you love to ride my cock as much as I love having you do it.”
“Fuck,” she mumbles as she moves and straddles my hips.
“No, beautiful. You’re supposed to save the cussing for when you come apart.”
“Because you’re confident enough to think you can make me do that for a third time tonight?”
I reach down and position my now-hard-again dick at her pussy. Before entering, I say, “No, not confident—cocky enough.”
“Yes, Mr. Peppernick, you are cock—”
My dick interrupts her smart remark as it slides into its favorite place on earth.
"Oh fuck!" she gasps as her neck stretches and her tits fill my vision.
With her hands on my shoulders and tits in my face, Mandy moves up and down, slow at first, adjusting and accommodating. Her pussy is like a glove—two sizes too small—that fits perfectly around me. It may seem like the timing sucks, but in reality, it feels like part of the process, her process. Her moving through the cloud of hurt and sorrow, maybe for once accepting that she doesn’t have to do it alone.
There’s something about this time, slow, with her in total control, that seems to satisfy her in a way words can’t. I want Mandy to know she’s safe with me, her stories and her heart. We can take it slow or fast, whatever she wants.
When we finally settle again, I kiss her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t think sorry is what you meant. You meant, damn, Mandy, that was great.”
I scoff. “Yes, it was. I’m sorry about your son’s dad.”
“My husband...” she clarifies before going on. “We were married for only two years, but we were together forever. He was my brother’s best friend. From the time we were all little kids, he was always around...”
In my darkened bedroom, we lie awake for hours as she talks. For three months I couldn’t get her to tell me anything, and in one night I’m hearing it all. Her life, words, and emotions are fully on display. In many ways, she’s more exposed than she was that first night. Story after story comes forth, one ending as another begins. With each one, Mandy lets me into her life and her heart; though her son is mentioned, it’s her husband’s name I learn. Through it all I hear how much she loved Jackson, how they loved one another. Theirs was something special. It was that once-in-a-lifetime attraction that’s meant to be forever. My heart breaks as she recalls him leaving after their son’s birth, his promise to return, and the fateful knock on her door. While it hurts to hear her pain, I like that she doesn’t hold back.
My chest stays perpetually damp with her tears.
When she finally stops talking, her breathing stills, and I can tell she’s fallen asleep.
I don’t care that she wants to go home. I’m not letting her go tonight. I never want to let her go. Instead, I hold her tightly as she sleeps.
It’s strange as I contemplate all she told me.
I never imagined falling for someone, falling in love with someone, and then holding that someone while she possibly dreamt of someone else, but for some reason, it feels right.
I’m honored that Mandy finally let me in—trusted me—not just into her body, but also with a glimpse into her heart. Knowing her story helps me to understand her trepidation. It makes sense. But as I lie with her in my arms, I wish I could make her understand that I’ll never try to replace Jackson. What they had together shouldn’t be replaced. What I’d like to do is love her too. She deserves that.
As I fall asleep, I hope that someday she’ll decide there’s room in her heart and her life for me too.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Amanda
The coffee shop is packed with Black Friday shoppers as Sally and I sit at a small table, surrounded by our bounty. We’ve been shopping since late Thanksgiving night and now the sun is once again up. While the sales aren’t all they used to be, and normally online shopping is my favorite option—it’s convenient and I can do it late at night in my pajamas—shopping on Black Friday is our tradition. We’ve done it ever since we were young, going out to the stores with our moms. Sally’s mom and dad have moved to Florida for the colder months. Snowbirds is what they’re called and they love every moment. The last few years, when it comes to fighting the crowds, my mom has chosen to stay home with Jase and Dad and decorate the house for Christmas. Therefore, that leaves just Sally and me, and neither one of us would miss it for the world.