“She hates me and Mom,” I tell him with a sigh. “Or she did. Not sure anymore. But, yeah, Cassandra plays the role of the wronged wife well. Very dramatic, especially while choking down martinis.”
Nick closes his eyes, his neck tensing. “I can only imagine.”
“Try to talk to Lily,” I encourage him. “I don’t think she wants to be mad at you. She just wants to protect her mother.” I look to my own. “I know how that is.”
Nick releases a humorless laugh, well aware of my protective instincts. “Yes, you do.” He stifles an inadvertent yawn.
“If you want to get some sleep, I’m not going anywhere.”
He looks at my mother, uncertainty tightening his face. “Um, maybe I’ll stretch my legs and get a coffee.” He leans over and kisses her hand again before releasing it. “Do you still have my number in case something happens?”
“Uh, I don’t have my old cell phone.” I reach into my backpack and pull out Joey’s phone still wrapped in aluminum foil. Nick eyes it curiously. I peel off the foil and turn it on, hoping I won’t regret it later. I pull up the Contacts and hand it to him, so he can type in his info. “I’ll let you know if anything changes.”
“Or if the doctor shows up,” he adds. I nod. He looks at her one more time, like it hurts him to leave her side. “I’ll be right back.”
When he walks out, the machine’s rhythmic beeping seems to get louder. It’s the only noise other than the occasional dinging in the hallway.
I don’t realize my hand’s shaking until I extend it, gingerly wrapping my fingers around my mother’s. “You have to be alright,” I tell her, like there isn’t another choice. Because there isn’t.
She has to recover from this. If she doesn’t, I never will.
“Good morning. I’m Dr. Nolan.”
I jolt awake, not remembering when I dozed off. My hand is still attached to Mom’s, so it couldn’t have been that long ago. An older man with white hair swept back stands at the end of the bed, a clipboard in his hand.
Nick rises to his feet to greet the doctor. They discuss tests and scans like I’m not even there. I half-listen but can’t keep track of what they’re saying. From the little I do capture, they won’t know anything until after the tests. So I suppose it doesn’t matter what I understand anyway.
I hear him ask about medications.
“She just started a new one,” I interject. They both abruptly turn toward me. “I don’t know the name of it, but I’m sure it’s at the house.”
“I didn’t notice any recent medication changes noted in her digital chart, so it’s important we get the name of it,” the doctor says.
“Yeah, I can pick it up,” I tell him.
“Maybe Olivia and Niall can get it on their way in,” Nick suggests.
“Get what?” is asked from the doorway. Olivia steps into the room, her eyes slightly puffy with fatigue but not nearly as devastated as Nick. Her hair is pulled back in a low bun, and her face is free of makeup. But she still glows with a radiance that emits ease and confidence.
Within seconds of her arrival, I’m convinced everything will be okay. She’ll make certain of it.
“I can go,” I tell them. “Sounds like it’ll be a while before we know anything anyway, right?”
“That’s correct,” Dr. Nolan confirms.
Before anyone can argue, I stand and lift my backpack by the strap. “I won’t be long.”
When I walk out of the room, I’m disoriented for a minute, not sure which direction to go until I locate a sign for the elevators.
The lobby is bustling when I enter, in complete contrast to when Parker escorted me to the information desk hours ago. He wasn’t allowed up with me, so he told me to call him if I needed anything, except he neglected to leave me his number. And I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to ask, so I could program it into Joey’s phone. I pause when I step through the main entrance onto the sidewalk, searching through my pockets for bus fare but coming up empty.
I reach into the side pocket where I stuffed the phone and send the only text I can. Are you in Oaklawn?
Joey responds within a few seconds, Yes. Been thinking about you. How’s your mom?
Don’t know anything yet. Can you drive me to my house right now? I need to get something for the doctor.
Sure. Be there in twenty.
It suddenly occurs to me where I am. Can you come in first? Meet in the lobby.
The three dots blink on my screen for a moment, like he’s not sure how to respond. Sure.
Twenty-two minutes later, Joey steps through the revolving door. I stand from the bench, where I’ve been staring at the clock, waiting. He opens his arms, and I step into them without hesitating. I take a deep breath as he holds me, emotions rising to the surface. I step away to keep from completely losing it.
“Thank you for coming.”
“Always,” he answers, offering a consoling smile. “You want to see Allie, don’t you?”
I nod.
“Not sure if the nurses will stop us, but I may be able to talk our way in.”
“But you’ve seen her, right?”
“I met her parents in the cafeteria. Told them I was a friend from school, so they allow me to visit whenever I can. I’ll tell them you’re a friend too but that you’ve been away or something.” He inspects my face. “That okay? I know you don’t like lying …”
“I can’t lie. There’s a difference. But if you tell them, I’m okay with it. I just really need to see her.”
“I know.” He inspects me carefully. “But it’s not going to be easy. Are you sure you’re up for it after—”
“Please, Joey,” I interrupt, my voice wavering. “It’s important.”
He nods solemnly and walks toward the visitors’ desk.
The nurses smile warmly and wave to Joey as we walk down a hall decorated with colorful flowers, butterflies and ladybugs. They don’t ask who I am. With each step, my nervousness spreads until my veins course with it and my stomach churns with nausea. I take Joey’s hand to keep mine from shaking. We pause when we reach her room, a pink-and-yellow butterfly on the window.
“Ready?” Joey asks, his vibrant blue eyes assessing me.
I nod, squaring my shoulders as if adorned with armor. It was my choice to be here. I need to face what I’ve done.
A tall blonde wrapped in an oversize cardigan almost walks into us on her way out.
“Joey,” she greets him with a surprised smile. “I didn’t know you were coming by today.” Then she notices me, and her smile widens. “And who’s this?”
“Lana, this is Mrs. Pixley,” Joey says.
I force a smile while my heart races in my chest. Allie’s mother has kind eyes, like her daughter, and a weary but friendly smile.
“Lana knows Allie too, but she’s been away. She wanted to come by and visit when she heard what happened. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course,” Mrs. Pixley says, her face lighting up. “The more people to talk to her, the better. We never know what’s going to spark her back to us.” She shares her daughter’s optimistic spirit, and it brings tears to my eyes.