“That’s the point, little mysh.” He turned me around. “I’ll send Luka for food.”
Kazimir shut the stove off and placed the pot in the sink.
And even crazier, Luka had already been standing there, holding his gun to his side. “Is she okay?”
Am I okay?
“She’s fine.” Kazimir guided me around the bar. “She just zoned out.”
I quirked my eyebrows. “What do you mean I zoned out?”
“For close to three minutes, I called your name.”
That didn’t make any sense. It only seemed like a second had gone by.
Kazimir handed Luka several bills. “Get us something to eat that’s close by. Go out through the basement and come back the same way.”
Luka grimaced. “Kazimir, I don’t like leaving you here—”
Kazimir frowned. “Get some tampons for yourself too, while you’re out.”
Grumbling, Luka rolled his eyes, took the money, and left.
Kazimir turned my way.
“Women are strong too,” I said.
“What made you think I didn’t know that?”
“The tampon comment.”
“Good point.” He pulled my arm in front of me and studied it. “You burned yourself.”
I tried to move it away. “I’ll be fine. What was I doing?”
“Just holding your arm over the steam.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m fucking losing it.”
“Maybe, you need to lie down.”
“No.” I grabbed his hand. “Maybe, I just need to fuck.”
He didn’t move as I tried to pull him to my room.
I blew out a long breath. “What?”
“This is all connected.”
“What is all connected?”
“You. It all comes back to you for some reason. Too many meaningful coincidences. Everything keeps going back to you.”
“It really doesn’t.” I stomped off to the bedroom, completely not feeling like myself. I needed a shower and more rum. This wasn’t me. I stayed in control. I unraveled in darkness and silence.
Kazimir followed me into my bedroom and closed the door. “You killed Maxwell’s father because he touched you?”
Jesus. He’s not going to let this go.
“Yes, even though that day hadn’t been the first time.” I turned his way and hugged myself. “But my father never believed me. He beat me, when I told him, said that lying like that could get his best friend in jail. Reggie was a playboy. My father couldn’t believe that this guy surrounded by all these women would inappropriately touch a ten-year-old girl.”
“And what did your mother say?”
“She passed from diabetes before all of this happened.”
“So, it was just you and your brother, Darryl?”
“Yes, and my brother didn’t believe me either. He made me swear not to tell Maxwell.” I began to pace in front of my bed.
I’d never said any of this out loud before. Those that were close to me already knew the story and were trying to forget.
“That day, Reggie made me go get ice cream with him. My dad wouldn’t let me stay. Everyone thought I was being a brat.” I stood in the center of the room. “Instead of going to the bodega, Reggie took me around the building to the back of the house.”
“Where the steps led?”
“Yes. He kept saying that he really loved me and that him loving me would be a good thing to help me get over my mother. That it would heal me.”
Rage covered Kazimir’s face. If Reggie had been alive, I was sure Kazimir would’ve killed him.
“Reggie dragged me down the steps, pushed me against the door. . . and I don’t remember much else.”
Kazimir widened his eyes.
“My Uncle Xavier found me by that door sitting next to Reggie. His penis was out. Reggie was lying on the ground and there was a broken bottle sticking out of his stomach. And blood was all over me. On my face, shirt, feet, hands. . .” I gulped and closed my eyes.
Kazimir wrapped his arms around me.
“Xavier put two and two together. And what I didn’t say was that our families didn’t have regular jobs. They all did illegal things. Calling the cops to handle something like that wasn’t even an option. Xavier was drunk, but he acted fast. He opened the basement door. We all dragged Reggie inside.”
“Who is we?” Kazimir asked.
“Oh. . .my brother. . .and Maxwell had been with Xavier. Maxwell didn’t even look at me as they carried Reggie inside.” I buried myself into Kazimir’s arms, trying to hide myself. “There used to be an incinerator in the center of the entire building where everyone lived. The basement had one opening for it. Xavier shoved Reggie’s dead body in that incinerator. It blocked something—gas, I don’t know, but a fire exploded from there. We all raced out of there.”
I climbed out of Kazimir’s arms, not wanting to be comforted. “Xavier’s little girls were hiding in the basement. Xavier and I didn’t know. They died immediately.”
Kazimir’s expression looked so sad and I didn’t want him to pity me.
“The fire rose to my parents’ level and ate my father up. Thank God Kennedy’s parents had already ended the card game and grabbed Kennedy. They’d gone off to their own place upstairs and were safe from the fire.”
Kazimir stepped to me.
“No. I don’t want to be hugged.” I waved him away. “Xavier’s wife came home an hour later. She never forgave him for dumping the body in the incinerator and starting the fire.”
Sighing, I gestured outside to the alley across from us. “A month later, Xavier moved into an abandoned school bus and put a sign outside the door.”
“What did it say?” Kazimir asked.
“The sign said, ‘I give up.’” My eyes burned, but I wouldn’t cry. “Now, will you stop asking questions and just fuck me?”
“Is that how you deal with pain?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t like to see you in pain.” He closed the distance between us. “I’m sorry about what happened to you.”
“I’m sure things have happened to you too.”
“You’re right, but I’ll show you my wounds another day.” He kissed me.
And then a boom came from the living room.
Chapter 17
Kazimir
I put Emily behind me and grabbed one of my guns from its holster. “That’s not Luka. We would’ve never heard him come in. Do you have a gun?”
“Yes, but I don’t use it.” Emily pointed to her night stand, rushed over, pulled it out, and showed it to me.
It was a .38 special. The revolver caliber was a great middle of the road round. Good for self-defense, but packed less punch than its larger cousin, the .357 Magnum.
I checked for bullets and was satisfied. “Stay here and keep this close to you.”
She didn’t argue.
More booms sounded from the living room. Whoever had come into her place didn’t think anyone else was inside. They sounded like they were ransacking the house.
I slowly turned the knob and creaked the door open.