Good luck trying to work me out.
Condensation beads along the outside of my pint, and before taking my first sip, I trail my fingers along the surface, painting a clear stripe down the glass. The lager is perfectly chilled, a welcome relief from the evening heat and the pulse that still thrums through my veins.
He’s here. Find him. Find him. Find him.
The last time I saw him I was eight. He didn’t look like he does now. Then he was blond with grey eyes, not dark-haired with blue eyes. He told me it was the last time he could visit my dreams.
He told me it was his time. That he would leave the other side—the place where he could visit me when I slept—to be on my side. He’d be here. But not with me.
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re not supposed to remember, Macsen. But you do. Every time.”
“Remember what?
“Me.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? We’re two halves of a whole.”
Even as young as I was, I knew that was the one constant truth. As sure as the seasons turned, we would always belong together.
“But you’re the only one. Nobody else remembers when they move over from the other side. Only you.”
“I remember you, always. Forever.”
“But I won’t remember you.”
“Then I’ll make you. I’ll find you and make you remember. Just like all the other times.”
“You will never know who I am. I won’t look like this next time.”
“You never do. But I’ll never stop looking, and as soon as I see you, I’ll know.”
His eyes filled with water, and I hated that I couldn’t prove it—prove that I would never give up. I would find him.
“You promise you’ll find me? Make me remember?”
“I promise.”
“One order of the chef’s special fishcakes.” Iris places the delicious-looking food in front of me. “Can I get you any sauces or condiments?”
I blink away my childhood recollections and hold up my half-empty glass.
“Thanks. I could go for another cold and wet one.”
She gives me a slow smile. “I’ll grab you another. Dig in, and I’ll be right back.”
This time, I don’t watch her walk away. Instead, I eat my food with gusto. He made this, and I want to enjoy every morsel.
A low groan leaves my lips as the lightly spiced fish hits my tongue. It’s more than simple pub food. I can tell the passion and talent that has gone into making it. It’s as good as, if not better than, any meal I’ve had in fancy London restaurants.
“Delicious, yes?” Iris is back with my requested pint, a single brow raised at my almost empty plate.
I wipe at the corner of my mouth with my napkin. “Very. Please give my thanks to the chef. I was hungrier than I thought. I could eat that again.”
She laughs lightly. “I’ll pass the appreciation on. Ellis loves to hear that his food is enjoyed.”
“Ellis?” I know I’ve failed to keep the interest out of my voice, but I don’t think she notices.
“The chef, my cousin. This place has been in our family for generations, but it’s Ellis who turned it into more than a local boozer. People come from all around to eat here, not just the locals and holidaymakers.”
Pride shines in her eyes, not only for Ellis and what he’s made here, but for also being a part of it. It settles something inside me. Knowing that he’s had a good life filled with family doesn’t make up for the years I’ve spent searching for him, but it does soothe a jagged edge in my soul.
“I think I’ll quickly become one of them,” I reply with a smile, raising my fork once more, and when Iris lifts a brow in query, I add, “I’ve bought a place in Lily Bay.”
Her face lights up with curiosity. “Oh, that’s great. Did you buy one of the new apartments that overlook the bay?”
I don’t have any real knowledge of the area except for the manor and now the little I know of the town centre. Still, Iris has likely judged my appearance—the business suit, expensive watch, Italian leather shoes—and figured me to be an investor or someone with a high disposable income buying a holiday home.
“No, actually. I’m the new owner of Lily Bay Manor.”
Iris’s eyes widen, and her lips make a little O shape.
“No way!” she finally splutters. “You’re the auction guy. The one who paid over the odds? Bloody hells bells, you’ve been the talk of the town since the auction last week.” Her head whips around searching the other patrons likely looking for someone she can share this juicy news with. When she can’t find anyone suitable, her eyes return to me, a huge grin splitting her face and creating small dimples in each cheek. “You wait until I tell Ellis you’re here. He’s had his eye on that place since we were kids. He pouted for a full day about ‘People with more money than sense out to ruin the rural charm of Lily Bay’.”
An eye roll accompanies her words, and my heart skips a beat when they finally sink in.
“Was he the other bidder?”
She laughs, her hand swatting the air. “Hah! No. Ellis wishes he were the other bidder. He’s got his hands full with this place. Plus, he couldn’t afford a single brick of that manor, not after investing all his savings in the new outdoor patio and terrace.”
“I’m not sure there’s a single brick worth keeping.” I give her a small smile. “I saw it for the first time today and let’s just say it needs a lot of… care and attention.”
“You never saw it before you bought it?” Her face tells me what a gullible idiot she thinks I am.
“Uh, no. I bought it sight unseen.” I shrug like it’s nothing then take another sip of my pint to stop me from saying any more. And the truth is, it is nothing. I have more than enough money to renovate or even knock it all down and rebuild if I’m so inclined. That’s not why I bought the place, though. It’s a means to an end.
It’s a means to him.
“Wow. I mean, you’ve either got balls of steel or…” She blushes at her word choice and stumbles over the rest of her sentence. “Umm… what I mean is, it takes some nerve to drop a wad of cash on a property you’ve never even visited before, especially one in that state.”
“Not really.” I take another sip of my drink to avoid her intense perusal, eventually setting it back down on the now damp beermat when it becomes apparent that she’s waiting for me to say more. Lifting my gaze to lock with hers, I give her the only words I have. “I’ve found the things in life that are meant to be will always find their way.”
She blinks, her eyes crinkling at the sides as she processes my words, probably telling herself she’s talking with a crazy man. I shrug as if dropping over a million on a ramshackle ruin is my everyday life.
“Lily Bay Manor happens to be one of those things for me. You can’t gamble with destiny. It’ll drag you along anyway, no matter the cost.” I huff out a laugh and drop my eyes from hers to my empty plate. “And I can tell Lily Bay is going to come with a hefty one.” Lifting my gaze once more, I ask, “Which reminds me, do you know of a good place to stay? I don’t fancy a night in my rental, or God forbid, the draughty old shed I’ve just bought.”