“I appreciate your support and vote of confidence. Oh—do you mind dedicating a song to me, you know, to make me feel better?”
Lori looked up, the sullen look on her face suddenly morphing into utter joy. “Of course!”
Please, God, no.
“Great,” Heather said. “Thank you. It would mean the world to me and might even help others who are faced with tough choices. Pick whatever you want. I like your taste in music.”
“It would be a pleasure and I’m sure Dr. Tough Love doesn’t have a problem with that, right?”
She knew I wouldn’t say no after I made Heather cry. There was no way I was going to look like a heartless bastard, even though I would rather give myself a purple mohawk and poke my eyes out than listen to the entirety of one of those silly love songs.
My sidekick was a smart woman, but she was beginning to piss me off.
I gritted my teeth and forced the words out. “Of course not. Thanks for the call.”
After disconnecting the call, I waited for Lori to start my session of three to five minutes of pure hell. “Nothing like a little dead air.”
“Hang on and thanks for your patience. I usually have the songs ready to play immediately, but this was impromptu.”
We had separate monitors, but they were linked to the same computer. I could see her searching for a song, just like when she played that ridiculous Captain & Tennille song.
I decided to plead with her. “Please do not play Celine Dion or Bette Midler.”
Please no, please no, please no.
Lori’s eyes lit up as if she had found the song, but this time I couldn’t look. “Got it!”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“Heather, this one is just for you . . . ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ by Bette Midler. Enjoy.”
I covered my face with my hands. “Somebody kill me.” I slid my headphones off, setting them aside.
Lori pulled off her headphones. “If you’re going to be a big baby about it, go run away like you did last time.”
I blew out a frustrated breath. “Haven’t you heard this song a million times?”
Lori placed her hands on her hips. “I want to make it a million and one.” She glared at me.
I sighed. “You’re killing me.”
She smirked. “That’s the plan, remember?”
This time I used every ounce of my willpower to sit there and take it.
My senses weakened and my blood pressure dropped.
It was as if someone had smacked me in the face with kryptonite or tried to force-feed me a five-pound bag of granulated sugar, one tablespoon at a time.
Lori shook her head. “Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”
“Yes, it is. I’m melting like the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. Closer to the grave with every syrupy lyric that drips out of these speakers.”
She laughed. “What a wimp.”
What made it worse was Lori singing along with Bette, although I did have to admire her confidence to sing in front of someone she barely knew.
The only other consolation was the happiness in Lori’s voice as she sang.
She truly did love this music, which was crazy to me.
Four minutes and fifty-three seconds later—or what seemed like twenty lifetimes—the song ended, and I introduced the traffic and weather segments.
The rest of the show wasn’t much smoother, Lori and I butted heads almost nonstop. And along the way, she played two more silly love songs that were torture.
After the show ended, we both marched through the newsroom to Kyle’s office to complain again.
Kyle was talking on the phone when we walked into his office, but he gestured to the two chairs in front of his desk for us to sit down.
“Right, right.” Kyle nodded enthusiastically, like he just got great news and couldn’t wait to share it with us. “Absolutely. I agree. It’s amazing.” More nodding and then he grinned at us again. “I will let them know. You got it. Thanks, Steve.” He hung up and smiled at us for the third time.
I pointed to the phone. “Steve from corporate again?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
I turned to Lori. “He’s one of the corporate guys out of the main office in Dallas, and the only time he ever gets involved at the local level is when there’s something that needs to be addressed.”
Kyle typed something on his computer. “And there is something I need to talk with you both about.”
“Oh . . .” Lori thought about it. “I’m guessing they got wind of the show and had problems with it.”
Kyle slid back into his chair. “Yes and no. They were definitely listening to your show through the live feed from Dallas. Six of them, actually, all the way up to the president of the company. But no, they didn’t have a problem with it at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
I glanced over at Lori, and she turned her head and locked eyes with me.
We had to be asking ourselves the exact same question: What were those guys smoking in the corporate office?
Kyle continued. “We’ve got some big plans for you.”
“Big plans?” Lori and I said at the same time, looking at each other again, confused.
He nodded. “You have no idea. Everyone at corporate agrees that we need to plant the seeds now so we can milk this baby for all it’s worth. You’re going to be huge.”
“Huge?” Lori and I said at the same time.
“Humongous. My gut was right, and your show is out of this world. We’re going to ramp up the hourly promos ASAP and put together a media blitz with newspaper, television, podcasts, and online ads that will start next week. They even want to replace the billboards around the city so both of you are on them.”
I scratched the side of my head, thinking about this madness. “I don’t get it. Don’t you want to wait until we get the Weeklies tomorrow, just to make sure they’re as good as you think they are before you start sinking a lot of money into it?”
Kyle shook his head. “What we need is to hit the ground running after the Weeklies are delivered. I have no doubt that they’ll tell us what we already know, based on the social media engagement. You thought yesterday was crazy? Wait until you see this.”
He flipped his laptop around on his desk to face us. It was the same program he showed us yesterday that analyzed all the traffic and engagement that we were getting from our social media pages.
I jerked my head back when I saw the numbers. “Seriously? That must be a glitch.”
“Wow.” Lori moved closer to analyze the data.
Kyle laughed. “I know, right? Remember yesterday was up five hundred percent?”
We both nodded.
“Ha! That ain’t nothing. You got ten times that amount today. And it’s not a glitch. You blew it out of the water. The time spent listening even tripled. I’ve never seen anything like this before in my life and it could take you to the national level.”
Lori and I looked at each other again.
“I’m talking about simulcasting on fifty radio stations or more around the country,” Kyle said. “Maybe a hundred. Steve and I were discussing it just before you came in. And of course, that could lead to television and book deals. The sky’s the limit, but we need to move full steam ahead.”